You Spin Me Right Round: Sin City Version
by bloodrosered
Summary: Stu has feelings for Doug's wild twin sister, Ava. After a wild night in Vegas, they attempt to retrace their steps of what happened, all while searching for her brother Doug...in hopes to get him to his wedding on time. Along the way, the two discover love unexpectedly. M for sex, LOTS of swearing and violence
1. Carrying the Torch

_Carrying the Torch_

**_College Years_**

Stu couldn't believe his eyes when he beheld the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. Her dark hair in a pixie cut, her eyes were deep blue…all the qualities that matched her older brother and his best friend, Doug. This had to be Ava Billings, his twin sister. Who'd thunk? Little Ava was all grown up! She had blossomed into a beautiful woman! He remembered her with cute pigtails who used to chase after them all the time as kids, wanting to play with them. She was the only one that talked to him when they were kids.

Ava was dressed in what looked like some kind of uniform: similar to a Catholic school girls but it was much darker, almost like a wicked Halloween costume. She was wearing elbow and knee pads.

"Dougie," said the girl. "You forgot your wallet at home."

"Thanks, I guess," Doug said with a shrug.

"Hi, Stuey!" she said, placing her hand on her hip and stared at Stu. Her eyes were lined with eyeliner and dark eyeshadow, Gothic almost. Her lips were cherry red.

Stu was enraptured and didn't know what to say: here he was, clearly a nerd with his thick Coke-bottle glasses, still wearing braces (his teeth were pretty bad), and a plaid shirt and dorky pants talking to his best friend's hot sister.

"Hi…" he squeaked.

Ava laughed, but it wasn't a cruel laugh like most of the girls did to him whenever he spoke to them. It was a laugh that said 'you're funny.'

"So, you coming to my game, Dougie?" she said. "We're gonna be around here sometime this week."

"Do they have beer?"

"Hell, yea! Just tell them you're Roxie Hard Knocks' brother and friends. I'll have tickets waiting there for you…and your friends. If they want to come."

"Of course!" Doug said, excited. "If it involves chicks and fighting, then we're in. I know Phil will want to come."

"Well, duh! Of course he does! How 'bout you...Stuey?" She batted her eyelashes at him. "You in?"

Stu felt stupid. His tongue felt like it was swelling up and he was sweating. A pretty girl like Ava was talking to him! He was about to speak, but all the words were jumbled in his head.

"OK..." he said.

"Cool! I got good seats."

"Cool. Good luck at your game," Stu said.

"Thanks. Hope to see you there!" She winked at him and clicked her tongue.

Stu felt a tingle inside of him. It made him hard just thinking about her. His blue eyes wandered down her entire body: her hourglass waist, her long legs, and her breasts. She turned on her heel and walked out the door. Her skirt swished and he could've sworn he caught a glimpse of her bloomers. Her ass was perfect. He wanted to spank it and send her on her way with a high-pitched squeal of delight.

"What's roller derby?" asked Stu. He hadn't been to a roller derby game before.

"It's chicks on skates, beating each other up. It's pretty cool," he said. "Ava's a tough cookie in the rink. Wait 'til you see her in action."

Stu really wanted to go: be with his best buds, drinking beer, and best of all, watching Ava play.

"I'm in if you and Phil are," he said.

"Cool. Ava will be happy we came."

He went to the roller derby game that weekend with Doug and Phil, who was excited to go. Phil would do anything to watch chicks fight each other. Stu sat in the cheering stands with his friends, cheap beer in hand, watching Ava skate. Man! She was a tough chick! She punched and elbowed other chicks, taking a few blows herself, only to brush it off. Her face fierce like a fighter. It excited him! He really liked her…he never had a crush on any other girl except maybe a teacher in high school.

He decided that he wanted to ask her out right after the game.

Soon as the game was over, he walked over to the girls' locker room, practicing what he would say to Ava when he asked her out. She came out, sweaty and bruised.

"Hey, Stuey!" she smiled. "What's up?"

"Um…" he stammered stupidly. "Uh…" He lost his words. "Good game, Ava."

"Thanks!" she smiled, wiping the sweat off. "Glad you guys came. I'll see you around."

Stu realized he would regret that decision for the rest of his life.

* * *

Dr. Stuart Price's coke glasses and braces were long gone. He had perfect teeth, finished his degree in dental school and ran his own practice, had a girlfriend named Melissa whom he had dated for three years, and they were living together in a lovely house. Though he was happy to have made those accomplishments in his life, there was one that didn't.

Though he loved her, Melissa was extremely controlling and mean-spirited, hating pretty much everything that he was forced to agree with her just to keep her happy. After three years of putting up with it, he couldn't help but feel resentful at times, wondering why he was even with her.

The only place he found solace was with his friends. He'd seen Ava from time to time since she lived with Doug. His feelings for her still remained, but he promised himself that he would bury those feelings. At times, he felt he shouldn't since Doug was his best friend and this was his sister. He thought he would be violating the Bro Code: don't sleep with your best friend's sister...no matter how hot she is.

Often, whenever Doug or Phil had barbeque parties at their homes, Ava would be there. Sometimes she would play beer pong with them, laughing delightfully. She was definitely one-of-the-guys...except she was hot. Other than her roller derby uniform, she wore tight t-shirts with bands or skulls, and jeans with Converse high tops. Her dark hair all spiky and cropped short and her eyes lined black. Her lips cherry red.

Stu liked spending time with her. She always brought color in his dull grey life. When he greeted her, she lit up and smiled. She always hugged him tight, feeling her firm breasts pressed against him. He would get a sniff of her, she smelled really nice. She even gave him a friendly kiss on the cheek, which made him tingle. Her cheek was soft when it touched his. The best part was she made him laugh a lot.

He wished he wasn't such a pussy and asked her out the first time he met her.

Melissa despised Ava all the way to her core. She was insanely jealous of her: that little slut was always flirting with Stu, kissing his cheek, touching him playfully, pressing her fucking tits into him when she gave him a hug like she had the right to do so! She suspected that Stu had feelings for her: the way he looked at her, how she made him laugh and smile when he was near her.

She made damn sure that Ava was not going to steal her man! Melissa did whatever she could to keep him away from her by permanently gluing herself to Stu's side. Stu had to assure Melissa that Ava was Doug's sister and he had absolutely no intention of sleeping with her. She was just a 'one-of-the-guys' friend who happened to be very colorful and friendly. Ava didn't like Melissa either. She thought she was a crazy bitch and often made snarky remarks at her, making the boys laugh, much to Melissa's humiliation and their amusement.

Stu's friends were so immature!


	2. Four Men and a Lady

_Four Men and a Lady _

Doug was getting married to his girlfriend, Tracy. Phil had planned to throw a bachelor party in Las Vegas. Stu was especially afraid since Melissa would freak if he told her he was going to Vegas. He had a cover story about them going to Napa Valley, staying in some bed and breakfast at a vineyard. He researched names of B&Bs to cover his tracks.

Stu was packing his bags for his weekend with the boys. They were going to pick him up once Phil got out of his job at the school. Stu had closed the office on Friday so he could pack.

"Don't forget your Rogaine!" barked Melissa.

"Rogaine, check," Stu said, dropping it in his toiletries bag, tightened his lips.

"And don't forget to _use_ it. I can totally tell when you forget, your hair just looks thinner."

Stu swallowed his hurt and embarrassment. He hated being told that he was balding. Ava would never say that to him.

"Using of the Rogaine, check," he replied.

"And make sure you call me right when you get to the hotel. Not like the conference in Phoenix. I had to wait two hours for you to call me."

UGH! This bullshit AGAIN! Melissa always called Stu whenever he left to go to dental conferences or leaving anywhere. She thought that he was going to cheat on her while away, which wasn't true. Like he ever would!

"Yea. I was the keynote speaker," Stu replied. "I was late to the podium."

"Still?" she snapped.

"Yea, you're totally right," he said, defeated.

He leaned in to give her a kiss, but she jerked her head away in disgust. He didn't get it. What did he do that repulsed her?

"What is the matter?" he asked, confused.

Every time he tried to get close to Melissa, she wouldn't let him touch her. They hadn't been intimate in almost a year. It pained him to think about that she had cheated on him last June on a cruise with some staff member. And _she_ was punishing_ him_? That made no sense!

"I dunno," she said, sitting on the sofa. "I hope you're not gonna to go to some strip club while you're up there."

"Melissa, we're going to Napa Valley," Stu assured her, sitting next to her. "I don't think they have strip clubs in wine country."

"Well, I'm sure if there_ is_ one, Phil will sniff it out," she said, acidly.

Her jaw jutted out of the wavy curtain of her dull brown hair, her mean eyes glittered behind her horn-rimmed glasses, filled with hateful rage and jealousy. She despised all of Stu's friends, especially Doug's slut of a twin sister, Ava. Thank God she was not going with them. She was too much of a temptation for Stu. Melissa insisted that she would be present any time Ava going to be around. Often, Stu had to lie whenever he went to his friends' houses, saying she wasn't going to be even though she was.

"It's not going to be like that," he promised. "Besides, you know how I feel about that."

"I know. I know. It's just boys and their bachelor parties…it's gross." She shuddered in disgust.

Stu nodded like a puppet, even though he didn't agree with her. "You're right…it is…gross."

"Not to mention, it's pathetic. Those places are filthy. And the worst part is that little girl grinding and dry-humping the fucking stage up there…that…"

"That's somebody's daughter up there," they said simultaneously, Stu faltering his words, forcing himself to speak those words.

"I was just going to say that," Stu added, not even recognizing what the hell he just said.

"I wish your friends were as mature as you were."

"They are mature. I wish you just got to know them better."

"Paging Dr. Faggot!" yelled Phil from outside. "Dr. Faggot!"

Stu sucked in his lips and lowered his head, mortified since they were using his nickname. If only he hadn't done that play _Cabaret _in college! Fuck!

"I should go," he said, quietly.

"That's a good idea, Dr. Faggot," she replied with cold sarcasm.

"Have a good weekend," he said. "I'll miss you."

He leaned in to give her a kiss, but she tilted her head away and all he got to kiss was her shoulder. Really?! That was what it came to now? His own girlfriend couldn't kiss him goodbye!

He went outside, carrying his luggage towards the boys, who were sitting in a classic Mercedes, which Sid Garner, Tracy and Alan's father, had lent them for the weekend in Vegas. Suddenly, Ava came running up the street, holding her bags. She was dressed in jeans and a black skull t-shirt with her Converses. Her short pixie hair was wild as ever.

"DOUGIE!" she yelled, panting.

Melissa's ears perked up when she heard Ava's voice. She just appeared out of nowhere like she used some form of slut magic. It was amazing that Doug and her were twins. They were so unalike: Doug was prim and quiet while Ava was wild and loud. Jealously, Melissa went outside to investigate.

"What is _she_ doing here?" Melissa demanded, pointing an accusing finger at her.

"Relax, Melissa," Ava said. "Dougie's giving me a ride to my game."

"We are?" said Doug, surprised.

"Yea, I told you last night." She rolled her eyes, still smiling. "Jeez! Honestly. You never listen to what I'm saying."

"Game?" Melissa questioned, her mean eyes slit. "What game?"

"Um...roller derby. Like _duh! _It's in Sacramento, so it's on the way to Napa Valley. I'm hitching a ride with the boys." Ava knew about the cover story since she cleverly gave Stu the idea.

"Stay away from Stu!" she warned.

"Jesus, Melissa! What the fuck did you eat for breakfast, Kellogg's Frosted Instant Bitch? Did you forget take your Valium this morning as well?"

Phil and Doug laughed really hard. Alan, her future brother-in-law, guffawed. Stu bit his lip, trying to suppress his laughter. The boys really liked Ava since she constantly burned Melissa.

"How DARE you speak to me like that!" she spat venomously.

"Eh, fuck you, Melissa! I don't give a shit what you think. Why don't you sit on this and spin? Maybe it'll take that giant long stick out of your tight asshole."

She flipped her the bird with her black and red nail polished finger, then leaped gracefully in the Mercedes, smushing in between Stu and Phil. They took off, the boys were laughing so hard, leaving a shocked Melissa standing in the driveway.

"OK," she said. "Here's the deal. I know you guys are going to Vegas. Not to worry, I'm not crashing your bachelor party. I have a championship game there and then my team is going out for drinks. Is that going to be a problem?"

"No," said Doug. "Just where do you want me to drop you off?"

"At the Mirage. We reserved a room there and I'm meeting the team there." She paused a moment. "Say, you guys wanna come to the championship? I paid for your tickets in case you want to stop by. You can come to the after game party. I'm waiting to hear from the girls where they want to go. I'll text you guys so you know where to meet."

"Really?!" Stu said, excited.

"We'll think about it," said Doug. "We don't know what we're gonna do when we get there."

"Oh, come on!" said Phil. "We always have fun at Ava's roller derby games."

"Is that the one with chicks on skates beating other chicks up?" Alan asked.

"Yes, Alan," Ava said, rolling her eyes. He was such a dumb fuck. She didn't hate Alan, she thought he was kind of strange...almost had the mind of a child.

"We're in!" they all said.

She reached for the beer Phil was holding and took a sip. Stu watched as she lazily stuck the lip of the bottle in her mouth. It looked so suggestive. _She must be really good at blowjobs!_ Stu though to himself. Yet, he had to push those thoughts out of his head. He had a girlfriend...even though Mistress Temptation herself was sitting right next to him. She sighed after taking a sip; her lip gloss left a sparkly, red print. She handed the beer to Stu, wiping the print off.

"Don't wanna get my lipstick on you. Right, Stu?" she giggled.

"Thanks," he said, taking a sip.

As they drove down the highway, Alan whooped, screaming "Vegas! ROAD TRIP!". Ava did the same, laughing with Alan. She sure loved having fun with the guys! She even mooned a few truckers, making the boys laugh.

"COME ON!" Phil whined, anxious since Doug was driving the speed limit. "Just till Barstow! Everyone's passing us!"

"Absolutely not!" Doug said. "I promised Sid I would be the only one driving this car. Tell them, Alan."

"Guys," said Alan. "My Dad loves this car more than he loves me."

Ava smirked, leaned over the front seat and grabbed the wheel of the car, making the car swerve. The guys all yelled, hearing angry honks from cars.

"FUCK! Ava!" Doug cried out. "Jesus!"

"What?" Ava said, feigning innocence. "I'm just having fun, Dougie!"

"Yea, _your_ version of fun could get us in the morgue, baby sis," Doug said, sarcastically.

Stu tried hard not to stare at her ass. Phil was smiling lecherously and nodded at Stu, making suggestive gestures of him humping her from behind. Stu shook his head no. Then, Phil pinched her ass.

"HEY!" she exclaimed.

"Stu did it!" Phil said, quickly.

"What?! I did _not!_" Stu shot back.

"Bullshit! You were checking out her ass, you perv!"

"I was not!"

Ava shook her head, laughing. Guys! She sat back down, smushing next to Stu and Phil.

"Seriously, big brother!" she said. "You need to relax and enjoy yourself."

"Ava's right," Phil said. "Because after Sunday, you're gonna start dying a little bit every day."

"Yea," said Alan. "That's how I managed to stay single."

"Really?" said Stu, unsurprised.

"Yea," Alan replied.

"Why _did_ you get married, Phil?" Ava said.

"I dunno...to avoid fucking you, I guess."

"Oh hardy-har-har!" Ava laughed, deadpanned. "You probably couldn't handle it, Phil. You'd probably blow your load once you got inside me."

Doug sighed. Phil and Ava were constantly bantering with sexually provocative jokes. It was embarrassing sometimes; they were two dirty, foul-mouthed lechers.

"How about you, Aves? You got someone special back home?" Alan asked.

"Nah," said Phil. "Ava's just a wham-bam-thank-you-man kind of girl. That's why she's so awesome."

"Are you calling me a slut, Phil?" Ava said, playfully.

"Well, you are!" he leered.

"You're just saying that because you've always wanted to fuck me."

Phil laughed. He remembered the time they were teenagers and she gave him an awesome blowjob in the shed. It seemed only yesterday: how good it was and Ava was so talented! He had to shove his fist into his mouth just to keep himself from making noise. She played with his balls, squeezed his ass, stroked him...even played with his taint, something he never expected. When he came, he couldn't help himself and screamed loudly. They almost got caught by her father. Ava dived behind the lawnmower. Phil remembered Mr. Billings, staring at Phil sternly with his pants around his ankles, stammering an excuse that he needed a private place to masturbate. Mr. Billings laughed so hard, telling him to get himself dressed before Doug's mom saw him. Ava suggest that they don't do it again and keep it a secret.

_"Let's just keep this between us," she said. "Don't be bragging to anyone either. Daddy and Dougie don't need to know."_

OK!" Doug said, exasperated. "Could you two crazy whores stop? Ava, I want you to behave yourself and keep your legs closed when you're around my friends, especially in Vegas." He had to be the responsible adult. He was protective of her.

"Fine, big brother! You sound just like Dad, you know." She sulked in the back seat.

"Well, I promised him I would look out for you."

* * *

They stopped at a gas station. Alan decided to pump gas while the rest of them went inside to grab some snacks and drinks. Ava found Stu browsing the aisle.

"Hey," she said. "I know you didn't pinch my ass, Stu." The two of them smiled.

Ava liked him. She thought Stu was really cute, good-looking, shy. She wondered if dentists had good oral skills. Yet, she couldn't seduce Stu...well, she could, but she didn't. He was really nice guy. Not to mention, she always felt it was bad luck to fuck her brother's BEST friends.

"By the way, thanks for the cover story for Melissa," he said.

"No prob. You deserve to have fun with the boys in Vegas, Stu. After all, isn't what you do there, stay there?" He smiled, lightly chuckling. "So, how is everything? You know, with Melissa and all?"

She hated talking about the She-Bitch, but she wanted to know how Stu was holding up ever since she had cheated on him on a cruise.

"Everything's fine," he said.

Truth be told, it wasn't. He didn't want to admit it...along with his feelings for the woman who he carried a torch for in his heart for a very long time. He wanted to tell her that it had gotten worse ever since it happened and that they hadn't been intimate in over a year. It still bothered him that Melissa couldn't even give him a kiss goodbye.

Ava had a feeling it wasn't the truth. But she didn't press the issue. "I just wanted to know how you're doing. It must've been terrible."

"Thank you," he said, appreciatively.

Stu liked that about Ava, despite her colorful personality and reputation, there were good qualities to her. She was a genuinely caring person. She listened. She made him laugh. They looked at each other. God! She was so beautiful! He wished he could go back and ask her out that day.

His phone rang, interrupting the moment.

"I'd better get lost," Ava said. "Before Darth Lady senses a disturbance in her force."

Stu laughed and answered to phone. Ava watched as he talked on the phone and went to pay for her snacks. She felt sorry for Stu for being in such a terrible relationship with that emasculating bitch. Then, she cheated on him and he forgave her. Ava didn't think that he should've. Yet, it wasn't her place to tell him even if she always spoke her mind. Stu was her friend and she cared about him a lot. He was such a sweet man who deserved better.

Stu joined up with Doug and Phil, who were looking out the window at Alan. He was yelling at an old man, freaking him out.

"What were you and Avers talking about?" asked Doug.

Doug had seen Stu and Ava hang out a few times, talking mostly. Stu always respected Ava and treated her well. Even though his twin sister was no angel, she deserved to be treated like a queen. He promised his parents on their death that he would take care of her.

"Nothing," Stu said. "She was asking about how I was doing with Melissa since...you know."

"She's a good kid," Doug said, seeing his sister chatting away with the cashier, laughing. "Even if she is...well, colorfully embarrassing. Everything good with Melissa?"

"Yea. Just told her we're two hours outside of wine country. She bought it." He smirked evilly.

"Don't you think it's strange that you've been in a relationship for years and you have to lie about going to Vegas?" Phil said.

"Trust me, it's not worth the fight."

"Oh, so you can't go to Vegas," Phil said, exasperated by Stu's excuses for his bitch girlfriend. "But she can fuck a bellhop on a Carnival Cruise Line?"

"OK," sighed Stu. "First off, it was a bartender. And she was wasted. And if you must know, he didn't even come inside her."

"And you believe that?" He scoffed.

"Yea. Melissa's grossed out by semen."

Doug went outside for a moment, seeing Alan fighting with someone and went to break it up. Ava was standing by the front, buried in her iPhone. Stu stared at her. Phil always suspected that Stu had feelings for Ava: how he stared all adoring at her, how shy he smiled and laughed, how they just spent their days just talking. He teased him all the time about it.

"You should fuck her, Stu," Phil said. "Get it out of the way while you're in Vegas."

"I'm not going to cheat on my girlfriend by sleeping with her archenemy."

"Are you kidding? That's the perfect revenge sex. You could even the score between you two."

"It's not going to happen, Phil. Besides, I respect Ava enough not to do that."

"Right. You respect her not to get your ass kicked by her older brother," Phil said sarcastically. "You're such a pussy, Stu! Jesus, how can you say no to that?" He gestured to Ava.

"Even if I was willing to entertain the idea, I don't think she'd sleep with someone like me."

"Then, ask to buy her a drink when we're out."

He pushed him towards her. Stu stumbled a little and walked towards Ava, who was buried in her iPhone, texting. Stu cleared his throat and Ava looked up.

"I was wondering..." Stu began, fumbling his words.

"Yes?" Ava said. "Are you OK, Stu? You're sweating."

"I-I'm fine." Phil was staring at him like he was an idiot, mouthing 'what are you doing?' "Maybe...after the game...when we meet up after...I could...buy you a drink? J-just as friends...of course."

Ava smiled. "Sure, Stu! I'll buy you one as well. I found this Irish pub called Three Angry Wives. I figured we could go there...you know because it's kind of an ironic joke amongst us...well, except me and Alan. Anyway, one of the girls told me that her husband's band is going to play there. They do Irish-punk music. I thought we could check it out."

Stu smiled. "Sounds fun."

Once they were refreshed and stocked, they climbed back into the car and continued on to Vegas. Ava looked at her phone for a moment and then grabbed her bag that had her uniform in it.

"Here, Stu," she said. "Hold my bag. I gotta change."

Suddenly, Ava's shirt was pulled up over her head and she was dressed in a black sports bra.

At that moment, Stu heard Meatloaf singing the second chorus line of _Paradise by the Dashboard Light. _He could see her smiling at him seductively and winked at him, the wind blowing behind her, making her hair rippling. Here he was, gazing at his best friend's sister, half naked. Her perfect tits just a few inches from his nose.

Stu began to fantasize about Ava: in the back seat of a car, making out wildly with her, their tongues tangled. Ava straddling his lap, letting him grope her: one hand on her breast, sucking on a perk nipple and the other between her legs, stroking her hot pussy; her moaning and running her hands through his hair. Then, she would unbuckle his belt and pull his pants down, her dark blue eyes glittering seductively and sink right onto his hard cock...ohhh! Stu would give anything to have sex since he hadn't in over a year...except with himself.

"Stu…STU!" said Ava. "Are you OK?"

"Huh?" he said, dumbly, snapping back to reality. "Um…yea, just lost my train of thought…"

Ava smirked. "Were you staring at my boobs?"

Stu lowered his head, blushing, taking off his glasses. "Sorry…I didn't mean..."

"It's OK," she said, smiling gently. "You're a guy...you see a pair of tits in your face, I know you're gonna stare."

Stu laughed, a little uncomfortable. Ava always made him laugh.

"Ava!" sighed Doug, embarrassed and exasperated. "Really?! Come on! You need to do that now? You couldn't do that at the gas station?"

"Coach said we have to be in uniform when we get to the Mirage. We're just dropping our shit off and getting into the van. Besides, it's not like any of you guys seen this before!"

"I haven't," said Alan, dumbly.

Everyone ignored him, rolling their eyes. He was such a dumb shit.

"My friends don't _need_ to see you in your underwear," Doug said, placing a hand on his forehead. His sister could be so embarrassing sometimes.

"Pfft! They've seen me plenty of times, in a bathing suit. I'm sure I'm no different than any other woman. Right, guys?"

Doug rolled his eyes. His sister could be so impossible!

She pulled on her team uniform: a very demented black and red Catholic schoolgirl uniform with her derby name emblazoned in red on the back. She buttoned up her shirt, which had a skull and crossbones patch on the collar. She wore a skull and crossbones necklace that lingered just above the soft valley of her breasts, which brimmed over the top. Her shirt came to her pierced navel that had a red jewel and she had a tattoo of a scorpion on her left hip.

Off came her jeans. Her legs were muscular and smooth; her right ankle was tattooed with a wicked red rose looped around with thorns that pierced through her flesh. She wore black bikini panties. So sexy! How Stu would give ANYTHING to feel those legs wrapped around his own! He wanted to pull those panties off with his teeth and worship her hips, she would part her legs and...

The demon inside Stu was locked in a cage, screaming and rattling the bars, demanding to be released...Melissa had the key.

"Bag, Stu!" she said, firmly.

"Uh...sorry..."

"Staring at my pussy, are you, you bad boy?" She smirked.

"No, no!" he denied, sweating. "I wasn't..."

"Whatever you say." She shrugged.

Phil was sneaking peeks at her through his sunglasses, trying to not make it obvious that he wasn't looking. Even though he was happily married, it still didn't stop him from sneaking peaks at Ava from time to time. Alan stared vacantly through the rear-view mirror. Doug was completely mortified.

Ava pulled on her short skirt and stepped into bloomers. Then she pulled on her knee high socks gracefully over her legs. Then stepped back into her Converse sneakers.

Doug dropped Ava off at the Mirage and she waved at them, saying she'd see them later. The four boys drove in complete silence as they drove toward Caesar's Palace since they had all seen Doug's hot sister undress right in front of them.

"So, Doug..." said Alan, breaking the awkward silence. "Your sister is a hot piece of ass."

"Shut the _FUCK_ up!" Doug said, vexed. "Don't _EVEN_ think about it!"

Stu decided it was best not to ask Doug about dating his sister. Definitely a violation of the Bro Code.


	3. What Happens in Vegas

_What Happens in Vegas..._

Once they arrived at Caesar's Palace, they checked in at the front desk.

"Welcome to Caesars," said the receptionist, Lisa. "Checking in?"

"Yes. We have a reservation under the name Dr. Price," Stu said.

Lisa looked up the reservation. Phil rolled his eyes. Typical Stu: always had to get fancy with his title, even though he was a dentist.

"I have you in a two bedroom suite on the 12th floor," Lisa stated, looking at the computer. "Is that alright?"

_Really?!_ Phil thought. _Two bedrooms? That's it!_ This was supposed to be Doug's special night and he deserved nothing less than a good time. They should splurge a bit for the sake of their best friend.

"Actually," said Phil, leaning in. "I was wondering if you had any villas available."

"Phil," said Stu. "We're not even gonna be in the room. It's no big deal: we can share beds."

"Come on!" Phil said, annoyed. "Guys, we're not sharing beds! What are we, twelve? We gotta have a bigger room! Are there any villas available?"

"There's a villa available," replied Lisa. "It's $4,200 per night."

"Is it awesome?" said Alan, in his usual dumbness.

"It's pretty awesome."

"We'll take it," said Phil. "Give her your card, Stu."

"I can't give her my credit card," Stu said. "Melissa checks my statements."

"Dammit, Stu!" Phil hissed low. "Just give her the fucking credit card!"

"We just need one on file," Lisa said, seeing how scared he was. "We won't charge you anything until you check out. You can figure it out until then."

"See? That's perfect. Thank you, Lisa."

Stu gave Lisa his credit card, reluctantly. He was already imagining the whole scenario when he got home: Melissa screaming at him, shaking the paper at him, demanding answers, probably would beat the shit out of him. Now that he thought about it, why the fuck was _she _checking up on him?! That didn't make any sense!

They went up to the villa and were very impressed. It had a huge living room with a glorious view of a few famous Vegas hotels and casinos. It had a bar. There were four bedrooms, each with their own bathroom and big screen TVs. There was even a fountain right in the living room!

"Thank you, Stu!" Doug exclaimed, his blue eyes filled with appreciation.

"Only because I love you," Stu said.

They went to pick out their rooms, shower and change. While in the shower, Stu started fantasizing...imagining a naked Ava, joining him, scrubbing him, covered in soapy suds. After seeing her some of features in the Mercedes today, it got him a bit hot and bothered. Shit! He shouldn't even be thinking about Ava! It was wrong! Well, it wasn't like he was _actually_ cheating on Melissa. There were times when he had some solo sessions, he would fantasize about Ava. That was his sex life. After that, it was all downhill.

Once he was done showering, relaxed and relieved a bit. Naturally, he called Melissa like he promised.

"Yea," he said, looking out the window at the hotels on the Strip. "I wish you could be here and see this place, because you of all people, would love it. It's quaint...it's antique. There's no TV, no phones..." he prattled on describing the place, bullshitting.

*BING* went his text message alert. He looked and saw it was a message from Ava:

_**Come one, come all! Come watch some bad ass chix kick some ass! It's the ultimate championship game for the Unholy Roarers vs Violent Wreckin' Sk8r GRRLz! **__**Support the lovely ladiez of the Unholy Roarers to destroy them! **__**Game starts at 8 PM at Riviera Hotel and Casino 2901 S Las Vegas Blvd. Be there if you DARE otherwise you SUCK! (Jk, u boyz don't) After game party at the Three Angry Wives pub 8820 W Charleston Ave, featuring a live band Whiskey, Whores and Song. -Roxie Hard Knox. P.S. Mention my derby name at the Will Call ticket window. Tix paid for already and will be waiting for you.**  
_

Stu smiled to himself, reminiscing his first time at Ava's game. How much fun he had! He had fond memories of when he had fun with the guys and Ava. He thought back to all the times when he and Melissa first dated, trying to find a memory when they had fun. None seemed to come to mind. He tried to remember how happy Melissa and he were when they first got together. After three years, she slowly became domineering, critical, and possessive. What happened to the Melissa he fell in love with: the one who used to smile and laugh, the one who enjoyed life and being intimate with him?

"STU?" Melissa's sharp voice. "Are you even there?"

"Yea..." he said, distracted.

While talking to Melissa, Stu dug out the velvet box in his suitcase and opened it, looking at the engagement ring. It belonged to his grandmother who was a survivor of the Holocaust. He sighed, content as he stared at the diamond. He decided that once this trip was over, he would propose to Melissa. This ring meant everything to him.

Yet, how would she react when he presented her with the ring? Maybe proposing to Melissa was wrong.

His thoughts kept returning to Ava. He did like her. She was wild, exciting...reckless and impulsive at times, but always happy. Yet, he wasn't sure she was the kind of girl who would settle down for life though. She seemed content with her freedom. Would she ever want to be with someone like Stu? She always seemed to go for bad boys...he guessed they always did finish first.

Soon, his three friends came in, Phil impatiently pointing at his wrist to tell Stu to hurry up and let's go.

"Listen, I gotta go. We're gonna hit this wine-tasting thing," Stu lied. "Wait, wait. Love you! Bye!"

Phil sighed, shaking his head. Stu was so pathetic that it was embarrassing. Seriously, he couldn't just tell his bitch girlfriend to fuck off. After all, he and his wife, Stephanie agreed not to call each other while he was away. He only made one phone call to her, saying they got to the hotel safe and sound, sending kisses to her and his children.

"Have you heard from Ava?" Stu asked.

"Yea, we got her group message," said Doug. "I just talked to her: she has a good feeling about tonight. She's pretty sure her team's going to win."

"Guys," he said, taking a deep breath, posing like he was all macho. "I gotta show you something." Stu showed them the ring.

"What the fuck is that?" Phil said, pointing to it.

"What do you think it is?" Stu replied.

"I'll tell you what it is: it's a big fucking mistake, Stu."

"I'm...I'm gonna propose to Melissa...after the ceremony, of course." He didn't want to ruin Doug's wedding by making him the center of the attention on his friend's special day.

"That's great, Stuey!" Doug said, trying to be supportive. He didn't like Melissa either, but it was the least he could do.

Phil and Alan groaned in exasperation, shaking their heads.

"Why? She's such a bitch," Alan said.

"Honestly, have you not listened to a thing I've said?" Phil said, exasperated. "Why would you make a lifetime commitment to that bitch...who by the way, cheated on you with a sailor on a cruise?"

"Actually, it was a bartender," corrected Doug. "Come on, Phil. That's his fiancee. What does it matter?"

"Are you kidding? You know it's true, Doug. She beats him!" Phil exclaimed.

"That was twice and I was out of line," Stu said, fumbling. "She's strong willed. I respect that."

Try as he did to make excuses for Melissa, Stu had to admit that Phil might be right. Questions began to bubble inside his mind. Why did Melissa treat him like that? Why did she cheat on him? Was it something he did?

When Doug went to use the bathroom, Alan turned around to make sure he wasn't listening.

"How about Ava, Stu?" Alan said. "She seems to like you a lot. You should totally fuck her."

"Thank you, Alan!" Phil said, relieved someone agreed with him.

Stu sighed, exasperated. Seriously! Why were his friends trying to get him to sleep with Ava? True, he wanted her...but not in that way. Stu felt all women should be treated with respect, even a bad girl like Ava Billings. He admired how fearless, spirited, and independent she was; strong-willed and outspoken with a soft caring side. She was a social butterfly and a friendly, likable person. Everyone liked her.

"We're just friends," Stu said. "It's not going to happen, guys. I'm no cheater and I would be violating the Bro Code."

"He does have a point, Phil," Alan said.

"There are exceptions, Stu," said Phil. "A) If she makes the first move, b) if you ask her brother, OR d) if you were shit-faced drunk and don't remember it, then it never happened. Besides, Ava doesn't give a shit. She's fucked all of Doug's friends. I heard she's a wild thing."

"Really, Phil!" Stu said, closing his eyes tightly in disgust. "I really don't need to know who she fucked."

"So, I can sleep with Ava?" Alan said, dumbly.

"You...no," Phil said. "You're gonna be family. That would be totally wrong on every level imaginable."

"Right. It's insect." Alan stared vacantly.

Stu and Phil stared at Alan. Was this guy for real? He was such a social R-tard. Seriously, did he eat paint chips while playing under power lines as a kid?

"It's incest, Alan," Stu corrected him.

"What is with you and Ava, Phil?" Alan asked.

"Ava and I have a special...relationship as two dirty whores who think alike..."

"You fucked her," Stu said, point-blank. "Wow. How _unsurprising_, Phil." He added with sarcasm.

"Nope," Phil said with a poker face. "Wanted to, but never did."

"What did you do with her?" Alan asked, very intrigued.

"Never you mind," Phil said, slyly. "I'm a gentleman. And a gentleman never tells what dirty deeds he did with his bestie's sister."

"Bullshit, Phil!" Stu said. "You've always bragged about your pre-Stephanie sexual conquests."

Soon, Doug came out. "What are you guys talking about?" he asked.

"Nothing!" said Phil and Stu.

"Stu wants to fuck your sister," Alan blurted out.

Stu and Phil glared at Alan. Who the fuck invited this big-mouthed dumb ass? Doug's eyes narrowed at his buddies. A lot of his friends did want to fuck her, but he knew Stu didn't think like the other guys. Stu would be nice enough to ask first.

"No, I didn't!" Stu exclaimed, a little flushed.

"Are you kidding?" Alan said. "She was practically stuffing her tits in your face, Stu! I would've..."

"Alan, just shut the _FUCK_ up!" Stu yelled, pissed.

"OK! Can we all just stop talking about my sister?" Doug said, aggravated. "Yes, I know she's very hot. I'm going to say this once and for all to all you slobbering horn-dogs: none of you are allowed to fuck my sister tonight. I will personally kill you if you do. Besides, isn't this supposed to be _my _night?"

"OK, OK, Groomzilla," said Phil, joking. "Let's get this party started!"

* * *

The four guys went to the rooftop of Caesar's palace, dressed in tuxes, except for Alan, who was dressed in khakis and a shirt. Stu was unsure about this, feeling what they were doing was illegal. Once they climbed the ladder to the top, they admired the view of the Strip's hotels, which lit up the city at night; their signs gleaming and the hotel windows twinkled like stars.

Alan pulled out a bottle of Jaegermeister and poured them into shots like a clumsy oaf.

"To Doug," Stu said. "May you have a long and healthy marriage...and may tonight be...a minor road bump..."

"Cheers!" the boys said, clinking their shot glasses, downing the Jaeger. It burned their throats and they gasped once it was down.

"Just like college!" said Doug.

Phil was about to say something when Alan interrupted. He fumbled for a piece of paper. He read off of it in a monotonous voice, his eyes like a brainless calf.

"You guys might not know this but I consider myself kind of a loner," he began, reading. "I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack. When my sister brought Doug home, I knew he was one of my own. And my wolf pack, it grew by one...so there were two of us in a wolf pack."

He paused.

"So, six months ago, when Doug introduced me to you guys...I thought: wait a second, could it be? I now added two more guys to my wolf pack."

Another pause. Maybe Alan wasn't so bad after all even if he was a social reject.

"Alright," they all said in unison.

"And when he introduced me to Ava, his twin sister, she too became part of my pack as well. She's cool and awesome just like her brother. Even though she's the only female in my pack, I promise to protect her from assholes and douche bags that try to hurt her...because she's my sister now..."

Doug smiled, hearing Alan's promise about his baby sister. He sure could be sweet being a dumb ass. He felt a little bit of a tear coming, but blinked it away.

"So now, there were five of us..." he continue."Four guys...maybe five if you include Ava..."

"Alan, Ava won't be joining us," Phil said. "She's doing her own thing."

"Just...let him finish..." Doug said.

"Thank you, Doug," Alan whispered. Then continued, "Running through the Las Vegas desert...looking for strippers and cocaine."

Soon, as he pulled out a knife and started cutting his palm, the guys decided that was enough, taking the knife away from him. Alan: biggest, dumbest, craziest fuck ever!

Doug looked out at the hotels, thinking about how exciting the bachelor party is as well as his upcoming marriage to Tracy. Stu stood next to him. He really wanted to respect Doug's wishes about tonight since Ava would be with them a short while.

"I wish Ava was here," Stu commented.

"Yea," said Doug. "She'd probably do some crazy shit like this. Not cut herself like Alan did..."

Ava was busy getting ready for her game. She respected the boys wishes if they wanted a night without her. She was one of them, but she felt boys should be boys and they could have a time to themselves to do whatever crazy shit they wanted.

"Doug?"

"Yea?"

"I was wondering...would it be...OK if I...bought Ava a drink tonight...after her game? I know you said..."

"Sure, Stu," he said. "As long as that drink doesn't lead to opening her legs." he joked.

"You know I don't think of her like that," Stu said, serious.

"I know, buddy. You've always been good to her." Doug sighed. He touched Stu's shoulder. "If anything, I'd rather she be with you than any other guy. I'd give you my blessing should either of you...you know..."

Stu smiled, feeling the warmth. Such an honor to hear these words from his best friend!

* * *

Soon, they went to Ava's championship game, drinking cheap beer and cheering in the stands.

"_Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the ultimate championship of Women's Roller Derby," _the announcer said. "_Announcing the team players of the Unholy Roarers._" The names of all the girls, most of them satirical with violent or sexually provocative until it came to...

"_Roxie Hard Knocks!_"

The boys cheered the loudest for Ava as she skated around, raising her arm up in the air in her uniform, giving a 'rock-on' sign. She looked hot! She skated gracefully around the circle.

It was an intense game! Ava's team won of course. It was a grand celebration. They met up with her at Three Angry Wives pub, which all of them thought was a perfect choice. The boys and Ava sat at a bar, ordering drinks. Ava made a toast.

"Here's to you, big brother," she said, raising her pint. "Congrats on finding love and a great girl. May your marriage to Tracy be loving, healthy and prosperous. Alan: glad to have you as my new brother. Stu and Phil: you're great friends. Love you both."

Soon, the band Whiskey, Whores and Song began to play: they had traditional Irish instruments with electric guitar and fiddle, singing variations of ballads and popular songs in an Irish punk style. Patrons drank Guinness, danced on the floor in a wild, crazy drunken frenzy. Ava was dancing with any random guy she could find, grabbing them and pulling them on the dance floor, even with Phil and Doug. She danced a little with Alan, humorously laughing with him at his clumsy oafishness. Stu sat there, clapping his hands along with the music and watched Ava danced so gracefully and wildly, her long bangs flying all over the place. She looked really hot in her short denim skirt, a Flogging Molly tank top that was tied into a knot, exposing her belly, and her Converses.

The song _John Ryan's Polka _started playing. The _bodhrán _started the beat. The low hum from the _uilleann_ pipes, building up the anticipation of the music...

"Come on!" she said, beckoning with her hand.

"Wha...? Me?" Stu said, blanching.

"Come on, Stu!" Ava said, encouragingly, grabbing his hand and pulling him up out of his seat.

"Wait!" he said, his voice trembling. "I can't..."

"You can't what?" Ava said. "Dance? No prob. I'll lead, you follow. It's easy. Just go with the music, Stu. Besides, everyone is too drunk to care."

He had never been this close to Ava! She put one hand on his shoulder and his shaking hand on her bare waist. Her skin was so soft! It felt so wrong...and yet so right touching her. She led the way while he stiffly followed, staring at his feet, just barely glancing down her shirt at her sweat-glistening breasts.

"Just relax," she said.

"I feel stupid," he said.

"Don't. Everyone is thinking what a lucky bastard you are to have a hot girlfriend, Stu. Trust me. Nice guys get hot girls too."

Eventually, once the music kept going, a mingle of electric fiddle and guitar, spoons, pipes, the beat got faster...Ava smiled and kept encouraging. They gazed into each other's eyes, Stu suddenly found himself smiling as he danced with the woman he carried the torch for. For the first time he was actually having fun! He felt sweat forming all over him and his heart pounding with the rhythm of the music and their dancing feet. Soon, he twirled her and then she planted a huge kiss in his lips. Stu's eyes bulged open, shock and surprise coursing through his body. Then, she pulled away, smiling. Her red lip gloss left behind a print. Drenched in sweat and his heart was hammering, feeling the lingering touch on his lips...

"What...did you do that for?" Stu said, breathless.

"It's Vegas," she said. "What happens here tonight doesn't matter. There are no rules. You should do what you want, Stu. Fuck Melissa and everything. Just lower your inhibitions. Let yourself go."

The demon in the cage was unhinged, struggling to get out. Melissa may have the key, but Ava was the locksmith. Soon, there were chants from the patrons "Kiss her!" encouragingly and loudly with hoots and barks that sounded like dogs.

"I guess we should give the people what they want," Ava said with a shrug.

Fuck it!

Stu kissed her; the demon was released. He threaded his fingers through her hair, tasting her lips: cherries...probably from her gloss. Her tongue teased his in an erotic dance, ran along his teeth and all over his mouth. He dared himself to taste her: liquor and cherries. She flicked her tongue against his lips, which sent electric all the way to his toes. The whole bar was hooting, cheering and whistles. He hoped Doug wouldn't be pissed since his twin sister happened to be making out with him right there. Either way, they were probably drunk out of their minds and didn't give a shit at this point. He was drunk as well. In Vegas. Kissing the hottest girl that he wanted for so long.

"Come on, Stuey!" she whispered. "I'm going to give you a night to remember."

Soon enough, she stuck her tongue in his ear, teasing him with licks and nibbles. Melissa was long forgotten and his resistance dropped to the floor as soon as her wet tongue touched him. Ohhhh! Sweet Jesus! He was already hard!

Taking his hand, they went towards the bathroom...making out and stumbling into walls. _John Ryan's Polka _kept playing. Her hand slipped stealthily down his pants, feeling his hard cock, which was straining uncomfortably. She stroked it slowly. Ohhhh...He wanted her so bad! It had been too long since he had been touched like that. He couldn't even remember when Melissa last touched him. He bit his lip, enjoying the smooth, long strokes which eventually became short, fast ones.

He grabbed her breast with one hand, kissing her hard. His other hand went between her legs, which she parted obligingly. He pushed aside the flimsy material of her panties and explored her delicate parts. Ava was already wet...all for him! Boldly, Stu plunged a finger inside her, which she gasped and arched her hips towards him. Holy SHIT! She was so hot and tight! He couldn't wait to get his pants off!

Once at the bathroom, there was the metal click of the lock...the song kept pounding outside, the rhythm getting faster in a wild storm...

What happened after that, he couldn't remember...everything went by in a blur...


	4. Morning After

_Morning After_

When the sun came up the next day, Ava woke up in a luxurious hotel room. She felt so horrible, nauseated and a nasty headache...oh yea! She remembered her first hangover in college and it was one she sure wouldn't forget. How she got here was a mystery. The pillows soft and the bed was comfortable; it seemed tempting to just lie in bed all day.

She found herself in a man's shirt. Oh shit! Who did she sleep with this time? Not that it mattered since she had plenty drunk one-night stands before. Well, whoever was staying here surely had to be rich. Maybe he would take her shopping and buy her a very expensive gift as a thank you for great sex last night. She'd gotten plenty of them from men, mostly tennis bracelets and lingerie.

When she rubbed her eyes, she found a beautiful diamond ring on her finger. Oh FUCK! Not only did she have a one night stand with possibly a rich guy, but she married some dude. Whoever it was, she'd be sure to have this marriage annulled. She would not be someone's wife. No thank you!

She slid out of the bed, blinking her eyes and rubbing her head painfully. She tried to remember what happened last night...all she remembered was seducing Stu, leading him into the bathroom. He was so drunk and yet, so sweet.

Though she was drunk too, she would've hit on plenty of guys at the Three Angry Wives. But Stu came to her mind first. She saw he was checking out her when she was half-naked in front of him en route to Vegas. The way he held her and how shy he was when they danced at the Three Angry Wives pub. Very passionate when he kissed her.

She thought about sleeping with Stu many times, but she felt he didn't deserve to be used like that. He was a nice guy. Phil...sure. She'd fuck him in a heartbeat if he wasn't married. Stu was cute. And a dentist. She smirked, thinking about his oral skills. Oh yes! He proved himself in the bathroom!

He was a starved man. Melissa kept him in a cage, denying him what he needed. He was wasting his time with Melissa anyway. He always complained about how Melissa was never satisfied in bed. Ava offered advice to help him, apparently she didn't want to do any of those things. What a frigid bitch!

Ever since Melissa cheated on Stu, she treated him like shit like _HE_ was the one who did it. Well, she decided...why not even the score? Make Stu cheat on Melissa. Hmm...nice touch. And why not just have a one-night stand with her friend in Vegas? She smiled evilly. OH! She was going to rub this in Melissa face once she got home and would relish seeing her reaction, playing The Heavy's _How You Like Me Now_.

_Yup, that's right, Melissa. I fucked your boyfriend...and he loved my hot pussy better than your cold pussy. _

Yet, how would Stu take it? He was a sensitive guy when it came to relationships. He was no cheater. She felt a bit guilty for seducing him to the dark side. She'd have to talk to him about this. And yet...did he have feelings for her? She couldn't help but wonder...just the way he looked at her, so adoring at times. Plus, they enjoyed each other's company.

She quietly went towards the living room, finding it completely trashed. Holy shit! This wasn't good. _Typical boys and their bachelor parties!_ she thought. She recalled Phil's bachelor party. Initially, she refused to come, respecting the 'no-girls-allowed' rule. Phil said they needed a designated driver and she was welcomed to join in the fun IF she promised to never speak a word of what happened. Like she'd ever rat her friends out! Ava always got to know her guy friends' significant others...Tracy and Stephanie really liked her. Melissa was the only one who didn't. No matter, Ava felt the same way about her; she gave off a really bad aura.

Looking around, she wondered whose hotel room it was. There were two men on the floor passed out...she recognized them. Phil was wrapped in a blanket, shirtless. And Stu laid a few feet away from him. Where Alan was, God only knows.

She tiptoed past Phil, pulling the shirt down to hide her naked bottom. Her bra and panties were long gone, lost somewhere...possibly during her drunken night with the boys. God forbid Phil should see her without panties! She'd never hear the end of it: _I saw London, I saw Uruguay, I saw Ava's poussay_.

She figured she must've joined them for the bachelor party. She promised them she wouldn't. It was supposed to be a simple meet up for her game and the after party. Then, they could leave whenever they wanted...then her hookup with Stu in the bathroom. Maybe they were too shitfaced to care if she did.

What crazy shit did they do last night?

* * *

Stu woke up on the floor with the worst hangover. He blinked his eyes, his glasses were on the floor. He tasted blood and his mouth felt sore. He felt so nauseated and had a nasty headache. He clapped a hand to his head, feeling nauseous. He saw the entire villa was trashed: bottles, cans and plastic cups and various debris littered, a chair was burned and still smoking, an ottoman was hanging from the ceiling like a swing, furniture and TVs were destroyed, clothes were strewn on the floor. Even a live chicken was in the room! Oh fuck! He was royally screwed! Not only was he going to pay for the room, but the damage that was done to it.

He heard soft footsteps, seeing a blurred tattooed ankle. Putting on his glasses, he recognized the rose along with the muscled graceful legs. He looked up and saw Ava in his shirt. She looked terrible, her pixie hair all mussed up yet so sexy; he could see the outlines of her breasts right through the flimsy material. She made an effort to hide some of her lower body.

"Hi," she whispered, smiling.

"Hey," he said, painfully getting up. "What are you doing here?"

"I have no idea," she said. "I was just about to ask..." Then, her face became horrified, seeing a gaping hole in Stu's mouth where his tooth was supposed to be, bloody drool on his lower lip. "Oh my GOD! What the hell happened to you?"

"What?" asked Stu. "Am I missing a tooth?"

She nodded a mm-hmm...suddenly, she hid her mouth behind her hands, trying to hold back her laughter. Stu's eyes became wide and picked up a reflective silver plate and examined it, horrified beyond belief; his gum line was swollen and red with blood.

"Oh my God! My lateral incisor...it's...gone..." he moaned in both agony and humiliation. "How...does it look?"

"You...look...horrible," she said slowly with a grimace. Then she in a fit of poorly suppressed giggles, she said, "You look like a nerdy hillbilly."

She couldn't imagine the pain he went through. It wasn't funny, but...she couldn't help it. She cracked a few ribs just to keep her laughter down, hiding her smile with her hands. She apologized profusely while laughing. Her sapphire eyes sparkling.

Stu was mortified. He looked absolutely ridiculous. He always maintained a neat and clean appearance and now, all of that was gone by this giant ugly hole in his mouth. Melissa would not like this. How was he going to explain this?! And now, Ava was laughing at him; he knew she didn't mean to.

"Let's get you some ice," she said.

She tiptoed towards the bar and grabbed a handful of ice out of the fridge, wrapping it in a wash cloth. She pressed the compress to his face, which he stared appreciatively at her. He couldn't even remember the last time Melissa took care of him when he was sick or hurt.

Soon, Stu saw something glint on her finger...OH GOD! It was his grandmother's ring! Ava was wearing it! What the fuck happened last night?

"Hey," he said. "Where did you get that ring?"

"Oh! I don't know," she said, looking at it, admiringly. "Whoever gave it to me must've been really sweet. It's really beautiful, must be an heirloom." She sat down, examined it closely. "If my memory serves me correctly, this looks like it was from the 1940s...there's Hebrew markings on it as well, so I'm guessing it's from the Holocaust."

Stu was fascinated. "How did you know that?"

"I had a Jewish friend named Lizzie in middle school. She inherited some jewelry like this from her great-aunt who was a survivor as well."

He couldn't believe how smart Ava was...and she loved the ring! His heart melted. He wanted to tell her it was his, but maybe if he got to know her a little more. No! He HAD to tell her. Truth be told, it looked better on her than it would on Melissa. Melissa's hands were bony and unpolished. Ava's hands were calloused, yet they were always painted and groomed.

"I think I got married, Stu," she said.

"Really?" he said.

"Yea. Well, I will be getting an annulment right away, if I can find the groom first. I won't ask for any of his money or possessions. But I'll definitely will return the ring to him. I can't keep such a precious thing."

He put two and two together: he married Ava! How? He didn't know. He had to be sure. He tried to hide his shock. Then, his heart broke a little. He always knew that Ava wasn't really a girl who would commit, but he grew to care for her. He hoped she would care for him...maybe if he took the time to get to know her a little. First things first: find out what happened first and then tell her about the ring.

"Congrats, I guess," he said, sullen. Swallowing, he continued. "So, did we...?"

She shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine. All I remember is the bathroom."

"The bathroom?"

"Oh yes. At Three Angry Wives. It's a bit vivid."

Stu was horrified. He cheated on Melissa! With his best friend's sister! Stu lowered his head, burying his face in his hands. Guilt was swelling up inside his chest. The demon inside him, fueled by alcohol, his own desires for Ava and deprivation of sex, had made him do this. How could he do this? He felt so wrong on every level possible. He could only imagine Melissa's reaction: he lied to her, did thousands of dollars worth of damage, then cheated on her with her arch nemesis. Stupid Phil! That asshole goaded him on to sleep with Doug's twin sister, poking the demon in the cage with a stick. It was all his fault! He was going to kill him...not before Melissa or Doug.

"Ohhh, no!" he moaned. He knew this shit would happen. Yet, he didn't remember it at all. He probably had done something embarrassing with her. "Did I do anything stupid?"

"Oh, NO! Not at all!" she said. "Your oral skills were very impressive though. I guess it's true what they say about dentists." Stu blushed. "And you were...well, very wild. Melissa must keep your cock in a chastity belt. Nevertheless, your performance was excellent. I don't think a man has ever satisfied me like that before."

"Really?" he said, his eyes lighting up. He wished he could've remembered it if he wasn't shit-faced drunk. He only remembered a few bits and pieces.

She nodded, smiling, hugging her knees and gazing at him. She looked so sexy with her bedraggled look, her legs gleamed in the light of the window.

Though it was embarrassing, it was nice to hear that his performance was pleasing to Ava. Stu wondered whether he was doing something wrong when he and Melissa had sex. Melissa was never satisfied with Stu's performance. She always criticized him and felt that sex should be on her terms when she wanted it, never what he wanted. She was repulsed by his cock: forget going down on him or a simple handjob. She didn't want to have her pussy licked or her mouse double-clicked. She didn't want to try different positions either or anything that was not conventional. When they did make love, she would lay on her back like a cold, dead fish with a pained expression on her face, insisting that he pull out once he came. He'd turn away and come into a small hand towel. Melissa hardly came at all. Once it was over, she'd turn away from him, no cuddling afterwards. She didn't want to be touched at all.

After her cheating, she wouldn't let him touch her. Now, there was just no point in having sex. The only company he had was with Rosie Palm, Thumbelina and her four sisters. He wondered how he fell in love with such a horrible woman. What happened? What went wrong?

Just hearing Ava say that he satisfied her, perhaps there was nothing wrong with him at all.

Aside that he not only cheated on his girlfriend, but he had sex with a woman who he had feelings for. She didn't know about his feelings nor was he sure she would reciprocate. It was wishful thinking, but he hoped so.

Soon, a hungover Alan stood up and stumbled from behind the bar. He had no pants on. Ava was disgusted to see her future brother-in-law's fat ass hanging out. Ew! He didn't even look at them and went to go to the bathroom...a few seconds later, he darted out of the bathroom, screaming like a little girl, tripping over Phil, waking him up.

"Fuck!" he exclaimed, clutching his ribs and moaning painfully. "Jesus, Alan! Get some pants on, man!"

"There..." he stammered, terrified. "Don't go in the bathroom!"

"Al, just calm down," said Phil, shielding his eyes from the sun. He saw Ava and Stu, sitting there, awake. "Hey, Avers. What are you doing here?"

"I was just about to ask..." Ava began.

"There's...there's a tiger in the bathroom!" Alan interrupted loudly, pointing to the bathroom.

"What's going on?" Stu said, confused.

"There's a jungle cat in there!" shrieked Alan, pulling his shirt down to hide his man parts.

"Really?!" Ava said. "Let me see." She got up from the couch and went towards the bathroom.

"Whoa! Ava!" Phil said, smiling lecherously. "I don't think I've seen you without pants before."

"Don't be looking up my shirt, you perv!" she said playfully, pulling her shirt down over her bare bottom.

Ava stuck her head in the bathroom...only to behold a snarling orange and black striped tiger! Whoa! She slammed the door shut fast, hearing it growl and hop towards her.

"Shit!" she exclaimed. "There really is a tiger in there! Wow! How did it get in there?"

"You're asking me?!" Alan said, still shaking. "That thing almost killed me!"

"Dammit, Alan! Calm the fuck down and get some pants on!" Ava said firmly; his shrieking was making her headache worse.

"Pants at a time like this? I don't have any..." Alan muttered to himself, looking around for something, wrapping himself up in a sheet.

"Anyway, what are you doing here, Ava?" Phil said.

"I don't know. I was hoping you guys would know. I guess I joined you after the victory party...somewhere along the way. I probably ruined your boys night."

"Don't worry about it, Avers," Phil said. "I'm sure you acted like you always do when you're with us. Besides, you are one of the guys. You don't give a shit about how much we act like Neanderthals. So, what were you and Stu whispering about?"

"Nothing," Stu said. "We were just talking about what happened last night."

Phil looked at Stu and Ava. It was so obvious. He could see it written right on their foreheads: WE HAD SEX.

"Hmmm...mussed up hair, guilty faces, lipstick stains on Stu's collar, Ava in Stu's shirt..." Phil said, slyly, his blue eyes narrowed. Then, he burst out laughing, "Oh my GOD! You guys fucked last night, didn't you?"

"Never you mind, Shercock Holmes," Ava said, trying to keep a poker face. "I should put some clothes on. I'm not sure what happened to mine...plus my stuff at the Mirage."

"You can borrow mine," Stu said. "The pants might be a little big, but I have an extra belt."

"Thanks, Stu. I'll return them. I'm gonna go shopping for some shoes and underwear. I'll see you downstairs by the pool while you guys get dressed. I'll order coffee for you guys."

She then planted a kiss on Stu's cheek, which made him tingle a little. He touched the spot where she kissed him, smiling to himself.

* * *

Ava went downstairs and went shopping, using a little cash she managed to stash for herself after working all those weeks as a bartender. She bought herself a black bikini...maybe she'd go swimming later. She also got a sun hat and sunglasses to keep the bright sun from hurting her nasty headache. And a nice pair of flip flops. It was nice weather outside. She tied Stu's shirt into a knot at her belly and rolled up the legs of his pants to capris.

She went to sit by the pool under an umbrella, staring out at the people and the ambiance. She ordered a iced coffee from a waiter along with some saltines to ease her nausea. She thought about Stu. She really liked him. She had never had feelings for any man before. She merely thought of men as toys she could play with: get a shiny new one and cast aside the old one. She never had a long term relationship either...well, once. It was a long time ago.

Stu was different though. He didn't think of her like the other guys did. He respected women and wanted a commitment. She wasn't sure she could give that. Plus, she recalled the first day she met him at Doug's college dorm: so nerdy but cute.

Looking at the beautiful ring that was on her finger, seeing the facets sparkle in the sun, she wondered who would've given her such a gift. Too precious to keep. She wanted to find the guy who gave it to her.

She sipped her coffee, swinging her leg, still thinking about the bathroom incident with Stu. He was so sweet!

* * *

_**11:30 PM-Three Angry Wives pub** _

_Stu looked really hot for some reason. Perhaps it was those beer goggles: drenched in sweat, flushed and panting after dancing. She kissed him. At first, closed mouthed. He stared at her with wide eyes, unsure of how to react at first. Then, he all of a sudden grabbed her face and kissed her passionately. __He tasted like minty toothpaste with a mingle of vodka and beer. Delicious! Well, he was a dentist and took care of his teeth. Maybe she should as well. _

_Stu was so passionate. He didn't want to let go. He was a starved man, deprived from the one thing he needed most, aside from food and water._

_Just to take it up a notch, she leaned towards his ear and stuck her tongue there. He froze for a moment, then relaxed, drawing in a breath. __Ava took his hand and __led him to the bathroom, __staring into his blue eyes, filled with sexual hunger and passion. They __made out on the way, bumping into walls, groping each other like crazy. As soon as her hand was down his pants, she found him very hard! Wow! She stroked his length and he groaned, biting his lips._

_His hands: one on her breast and the other between her legs, fingering her pussy and stroking her nub with his thumb. OH! She couldn't wait to feel him inside her...if what she remembered from her conquest down his pants. _

_Once the door was locked, in an instant, he pressed her against the sink, so animalistic. He popped a breast over the top of her tank, cupping it. A gloriously perk nipple beckoned him. He leaned forward, teasing it with his tongue before taking it in, sucking with exquisite delight. She threw her head back, moaning softly, waves of pleasure went all the way to her toes. _

_Next, he knelt at her feet, kissing her belly while he reached under her skirt and ripped her panties down. Then, he swung her leg over his shoulder and pleasured her delicate girly parts with precision and excellence. Ohhhh FUCK! So it was true! Dentists had excellent oral skills. She encouraged him with cries of pleasure, not that he needed it, holding on with every ounce of strength from coming.  
_

_Then, he stood up, his lips wet and kissed her again. ____His glasses were fogged from getting all hot and heavy. She removed them and saw how handsome Stu was, leaving them on the sink. He pinned her against the wall, the two of them making out. _She unbuckled his belt and pushed his pants to his knees, caressing his ass and the backs of his legs. _He grabbed her legs and wrapped them around his hips...but, stopped..._

_"What?" she asked. "Why did you stop? Keep going."_

_"I..." he whispered, drunk and raggedly. "Are you ready?"_

_"Oh, Stu!" she said, giggling. "You don't need to do that. I'm far from being a virgin, you know."_

_"Y-yea, I know," he dithered. "But...I want to...make sure."  
_

_It was so sweet. How nice of Stu to ask. Most guys just barreled into her pussy in a frenzy. She nodded and he proceeded to slide inside her hot, wet cavern, closing his eyes and his mouth opened, enjoying the sensation. Wow! She felt every inch of him stroking inside. He went slow at first, then faster and faster, grunting with such animalistic passion. **John Ryan's Polka **kept playing outside, the noise from the music pounding. He gripped Ava's ass so hard while he fucked her, leaving bruises. _

_"Oh GOD!" he cried. "I'm gonna come! I'm gonna c-"_

_Suddenly, he exploded with an epic, earth-shattering orgasm, crying out loudly into her neck, shuddering so hard. It had been so long and jerking off wasn't doing it for him anymore. __It was the best feeling in the world! It was perfect! It felt just like his first time, except he wasn't so clumsy. The aftermath was just as good. A__ll the tension and stress melted away. He felt very relaxed._

_Though Ava was just about on the brink, he gave a few more strokes until she succumbed to her own orgasm. She herself cried out, digging her nails into Stu's head, shaking hard and her pussy quivering. She clapped a hand to her head, sighing. It was good...more than good, excellent! _

_Stu's __face scrunched up__, tears formed in his blue eyes and he was shaking. He started crying.  
_

_"What? What's wrong, Stuey?" Ava said, very concerned._

_"I...I'm sorry," he said, his voice breaking. "This was...really special. Thank you. Thank you so much, Ava."_

_She merely smiled. "Anytime, Stu."_

* * *

"Alright, Stu!" Phil laughed with glee. "Well, congratulations, man! You're officially a member of the Dirty Man Whore Club, getting your cherry popped by Ava Billings."

Stu was mortified. Stupid Phil! He could be such an asshole!

"Uh...Stu..." Alan said. "What's that on your pants?" He pointed to Stu's crotch and there it was! A cherry red lipstick stain...

"Oh, shit!" he exclaimed, wiping at it frantically.

"Oh-ho-ho!" Phil continued to laugh. "Looks like Stu got his lollipop licked by Ava! Nice!" He suddenly started singing 50 Cent's _Candy Shop_, mockingly with a few lyrics he made up: _Ava took Stuey to the candy shop/__She licked his lollipop/She knows how to hit the spot._

"Shut the FUCK up, Phil!" Stu said, angry. "You know, this is all _your_ fault!"

"What?" Phil exclaimed. "MY fault? What did I do?"

"If only you just stayed out of it and didn't give me the whole," then spoke in a mocking Phil voice, "'you should fuck Ava in Vegas'," Then returned to his normal voice, "this shit would've never happened."

"So, you slept with Ava. Big fucking deal!"

"It _IS_ a big fucking deal, Phil! Three years with Melissa and I've _never_ cheated on her. What I did was wrong. This violates my moral code."

"Who the fuck cares? You evened the score out. Once you get back, you should tell that bitch that you fucked Ava. She hates her anyway."

"I'm not doing that. Also, I'd appreciate it if you kept this to yourselves. I don't think Doug would like to know what I did."

"Oh, come ON!" said Phil. "If I got to home base with Doug's hot slutty sister, I'd be on this hotel rooftop, shouting it to the world."

"He doesn't need to know! If either of you say one fucking word to Doug about this, I swear I will kill you both." He glared at Alan who he barely knew, yet enough to know he had a big mouth.

"OK, OK!" Phil said, holding up his hands. "We won't tell Doug. Let's just find him first. Al, wake up Doug. Let's get some coffee and get out of Nevada before the cleaning lady sees this."

Alan left the room to find Doug.

"So, how was she?" Phil asked, grinning. He wanted to hear all the dirty details. He was a little jealous that Stu got to slide into home with Ava. Lucky bastard!

"I don't know," Stu said. "I don't even remember."

"Jesus! How drunk were you that you couldn't remember fucking her?"

"What am I going to tell Melissa?" Stu said, panicking. "I lost a tooth and I'm probably going to have to pay thousands of dollars worth of damage and...ow!"

"What now, Stu?" Phil rolled his eyes, exasperated with Stu's whining.

"My shoulder hurts."

"Lemme see," said Phil. Stu pulled his shirt up and there was a bandage. Phil pulled it off, then grimaced, smirking. "Ooh! Apparently, she bites."

"WHAT?!" Stu looked over his shoulder. Unable to see, he used the plate he was holding, seeing a scabbed bite mark. "Oh my GOD! Ava bit me! How am I supposed to explain THIS now?"

"Seriously, you're freaking me out, man," Phil said, rubbing his head. "I've got a massive headache. Let's just calm down."

"How am I supposed to calm down?!" Stu sobbed. "Look around you! Look at me!"

"Guys," Alan interrupted. "Doug's not here."

"What do you mean?" said Phil. "Did you check all the rooms?"

"Yea. I don't see him anywhere. Plus, his mattress is missing."

"He's gotta be here. He's probably downstairs getting coffee. Call his phone."

Stu patted his pockets, only to find his phone was missing. He borrowed Phil's phone only to hear it ring right in the room. It lay resting on the bar. Alan picked it up, staring dumbly at it. He answered it. Phil and Stu looked at each other, rolling their eyes. Stu took Doug's phone from Alan.

"Try Ava," Phil suggested. "Maybe she's seen him."

Stu pressed Ava's number on Doug's phone.

"Hey, big brother!" said Ava chirped in a sing-songed voice.

"Um...Ava?"

"Oh hey, Stu!" she said, cheerfully. "What are you doing with Doug's phone?"

"Um...have you seen him?"

"No. When I saw his number pop up, I thought it was him."

"Well...I hate to tell you this, but we can't find him."

"What do you mean you? He's gotta be here somewhere. I'm sure he's around." She sounded worried.

"D-don't worry, Ava. We'll find him. Maybe you can help us retrace our steps. We'll be right down."

"OK...hold on, your pants are ringing," she said.

"What do you..." then he realized his phone was in the pants that Ava was wearing. Melissa! "Don't..."

She put down the phone and heard in horror the whole conversation. Ava had put both phones on speaker.

Ava: Hello?

Melissa: Who is this?

Ava: Oh, hey, Melissa. It's Ava.

Melissa: Where's Stu?

Ava: Stu's not here.

Melissa: What do you mean he's not here?

Ava: Are you deaf _and_ stupid, Melissa? I said he's not here.

Melissa: Why the fuck do you have his phone?

Ava: Because I fucked your boyfriend. He enjoyed every minute of it. Plus, he said likes his pussy hot better than cold. Bye, bitch! *BEEP*

Stu's whole body froze and he suddenly heard screaming...only to realize it was him. She told Melissa what he had done. OH FUCK! He was royally fucked now!

"I can't believe you did that!" he yelled.

"Oh, so what? She'll just think I said that to piss her off."

He felt sick. He can't believe everything that just happened. He wanted to regret that he had sex with Ava, but yet a part of him didn't. He wanted to be with her...maybe this was fate's way of saying that this was right. He hadn't the chance to ask her out in college and now, the moment presented itself and he took it.


	5. Retracing Steps

_Retracing Steps_

Stu was trying to process what had just happened, panicking. Ava told Melissa what he had done in Vegas. He was going to have a stroke and a heart attack at the same time.

"I'm so dead," Stu sobbed. "I'm so royally fucked! Melissa's going to tear me a new asshole! Ava just told her what I did!"

"OK, buddy," Phil said, exasperated with Stu's panicking. "Just calm the _fuck_ down. I'm sure Ava was just yanking Melissa's chain like she always does. Let's just go downstairs and meet with her so we can find out where Doug is."

Before they went downstairs, they heard a baby crying...coming from somewhere.

"What the fuck was that?" Stu said, even though the answer was clear. They found the baby in the closet, wrapped in a blanket and lying in a car seat.

"Who's baby is this?" Phil said.

"Check its collar," Alan said. Phil and Stu looked at each other, rolling their eyes. Stupid fuck.

"Alan, did you check all the rooms?" Stu asked.

"Yea. I did. No one else was here."

Stu knelt towards the baby, cooing at it to calm it down.

"Stu, let's just deal with the baby later and go meet Ava." Phil said, eager to get out of here.

"We're not leaving it here, Phil!" Stu insisted. "There's a fucking tiger in the bathroom. It can't be safe."

"Ava's a woman, right? She could take care of it," Alan said.

"Dude, Ava's got the motherly instincts of a chainsaw juggler," Phil said. "Don't just think that she's a woman, she's gonna take care of a baby."

"That's not true," Alan said. "There's plenty of chainsaw jugglers who have kids."

"Alan, just shut up!" Stu said.

They rummaged through the closet, finding a baby sling. Phil set the baby sling on Alan, who insisted on carrying him. The other men weren't so sure Alan should be handling a baby. Who knew what he could do with it? Alan was a big dumb kid in a grown man's body. Still, seeing how gentle he was with the baby, they supposed he was the safe bet for now. They got into the elevator, heading down.

"Why can't we remember anything last night?" Stu said, pressing the ice pack to his face.

"Probably because we had a great fucking time," Phil said. "Would you just stop worrying for a minute? Be proud of yourself. You nailed Doug's hot sister." He paused, chuckling. "By the way, I heard you two this morning...how you played her pussy like a violin last night, you dog."

That's when the doors opened and a very older, elegant lady was about to step in, her eyes wide. Apparently, she heard everything they said.

"I'm...gonna take the next one down," she said, uncomfortable. She closed the doors.

* * *

The boys found Ava down by the pool, sipping coffee, wearing sunglasses and a hat. She looked really...hot.

"Hey, guys!" she said, with a smile. "Oh! Where'd you get the baby?"

"We found it in the closet," said Phil.

"Awww. He's so CUTE! Let me hold him!" she cooed.

She took him from Alan. Stu watched as Ava held the baby, talking baby talk. The baby laughed, grabbing her hair and touching her face.

"Would you look at that?" Phil whispered, amazed. "Who knew? Our little wild Ava has a side I've never seen before."

Stu sighed, smiling. "Yea..." He never saw Ava like this before. He couldn't imagine her being a mother, let alone a wife. "You seem to be really good with kids, Ava," Stu commented.

"I did community service at a daycare when I was in high school," she said.

Stu smiled. "Wow...that's really neat. I didn't know that."

"Yea. It was fun. I guess you could say I'm kind of a kid myself, enjoying life and not caring about what problems that adults have."

Yea. It was true. Ava was like a kid in a way. She liked having fun! If there was one woman he wanted, it was one like...her. But, Melissa. Was he really going to throw away three years of a relationship? Was it even love with Melissa anymore?

"I'm gonna go look for Doug," he said, getting up.

Once Stu was out of earshot, Phil was smirking and staring at Ava.

"So, you kids have a nice...time?" he chuckled, leeringly.

"He was...very sweet..." Ava admitted, blushing.

"Uh huh, and...?" He raised his eyebrows, his sky blue eyes glittering, intrigued. Typical Phil! Always wanted to know dirty details of every sexcapade.

"Never you mind, Philip," Ava said, her eyes glittering impishly. "I don't think Stu would like me talking about it. He can tell you himself if he wants."

"I hear you're biter."

"Oh? I bit Stu? Oh..." she chuckled, embarrassed. "Wow! I had no idea. I guess I really hurt him."

"I'm sure he's fine. He's just panicking over the fact that the She-Bitch is going to find out about your little love bite you left behind, Vampira." Then in a mocking falsetto voice. "'Oh Stuey! No man's ever made me come like you did.'" Then made sex noises.

"Shut up!" Ava said, punching him playfully in the arm.

Then, Stu returned and sat down, looking very worried.

"I looked everywhere," Stu announced. "I checked gym, casino, front desk...no one's seen Doug."

"He's fine," Ava assured. "He's a big boy. I'm sure he'll find us."

"Don't twins have like...psychic links or something, Ava?" Alan asked. "I saw that somewhere on TV."

Ava rolled her eyes. Seriously, was he wrong in the head or something?

"That only works on identical twins," she said sarcastically. "Doug and I are fraternal twins. Plus I've never felt anything like that."

"But...what if we never find him?" Stu said.

"Seriously," said Phil. "You need to calm down, Stu. Here, have some juice." He handed him a glass of orange juice.

Suddenly, Stu felt the nausea overpower him and he threw up on Ava's chest. She looked disgusted for a moment, but she laughed a bit.

"I...I'm sorry, Ava," he apologized.

"It's OK, Stu," she said. "Let's clean you up."

Grabbing the corners of her shirt, she pulled it over her head. "No!" Stu was about to yell until he saw she had a black bikini top on, which he heaved a sigh of relief.

"What? You thought I was naked under here?" she said, raising her eyebrows. "I needed _something_ to hold up my girls. Honestly, do you guys think of _nothing _but tits?"

"No," Alan said, still dumbly staring at his future sister-in-law.

Ava wiped the vomit off of Stu's face. "I'm really sorry..."

"I've been puked on many times...kids and adults. It doesn't bother me."

"I'll buy you some clothes. I promise."

"Thank you, Stu."

Stu found himself gazing at Ava's breasts in that black bikini top. He wondered what they were like. Did he ever see them? Did he put his mouth on them? He could barely remember. There were bits and pieces he did remember her seducing him at the bar, but he thought it was one of his fantasies...

"OK," Phil announced. "Let's track this thing. So, what's the last thing we remember doing last night?" He took a piece of paper and a pen and began to write.

"Last I remember," Alan said, playing with his sunglasses. "We were on the roof, doing shots of Jaeger."

Stu dry heaved, turning his head away from Ava. He didn't want to puke on her again. God forbid he puked on her pants. He didn't think he could handle it. Of course, he had seen her undress in the Mercedes before they got to Vegas. Still, what did she look like naked? Surely they had to have done something...she did wake up in his bed, in his shirt and with his grandmother's engagement ring on her finger.

"Right," Phil said. "We grabbed dinner at the Palm..."

"Then we shot craps at the Hard Rock," Alan added. "I'm pretty sure I saw Doug there."

"OK, good. Then went to Ava's game at the Riviera. What do _you _remember last, Ava?" Phil asked, smirking, hoping to get more dirty details out of Ava and her conquest with Stu.

"Well, last I remember, we were at Three Angry Wives for the post game party. Stu and I hooked up in the bathroom...that's pretty much it."

"The bathroom?!" Phil chuckled. "You and Ava in a public bathroom! Well, that's a first, Stu!"

Stu turned red with embarrassment. A tiny part of him felt a little proud that he had sex outside the bedroom for once. Most of his sexual conquests were with Melissa and she _never_ wanted to do it anywhere but the bedroom, said it made her feel exposed. With Ava, she was wild. She certainly didn't care. Lord knows what else he did in Vegas with Ava! Probably did something very risque.

"So, how can we retrace our steps?" asked Stu, hoping to change the subject on him and Ava.

"Well, do you have receipts? Surely, you had to have used credit cards," suggested Ava.

"Good idea!" Phil said. "Ooh! Nice ring, Ava! Where'd you get it?"

"I dunno," she said, shrugging. "I think I got married last night."

"Really?" said Alan. "That's great, Aves. Congrats. Who did you marry?"

"I dunno. But I'm hoping to find Prince Charming soon so I can annul the marriage and give back his ring."

"Can I see it?" asked Alan.

She showed it to him. Phil looked and he recognized it. Then, looked at Stu with raised eyebrows, mouthing 'you and her', ready to laugh. Stu shook his head no with wide eyes, insistent that he say nothing. She got up to go to the bathroom. Stu gave her some money to get herself a new shirt. With a spring in her step, she left.

"So, not only did you fuck her," said Phil. "You _married _her! You are one lucky bastard. Melissa is gonna shit bricks when she finds out."

"Look!" Stu said, firmly. "I don't even know if it's for sure. You guys can't tell her. I want to tell her myself when I know for certain."

"Oh my GOD! You _really_ care about her, don't you?" Phil said.

"What?! No! She's Doug's sister! I don't..." Stu denied, feeling his cheeks flush.

"Oh please!" Phil said, rolling his eyes. "It's _so_ obvious. You stare at her all doe-eyed and shit whenever she's around." Suddenly, he became serious. "Really, Stu. You should be with her. I think she's the right girl for you. Dump that bitch Melissa and enjoy your spur-of-the-moment marriage with Ava."

"I can't do that!" Stu said. "I don't even know if Ava feels the same way about me."

"Come on, Stu," Alan said. "Just tell Ava that you like her. She seems to feel the same way about you."

"We're just friends...and I hardly know anything about her. All I know is that she likes roller derby, worked in a daycare center as a teenager...and that she and Doug are twins...and she likes classical rock music and punk stuff." He remembered all the band T-shirts she wore all the time.

"I've seen you guys talk all the time," Phil said. "You're like two girls at the mall. Surely you know more than _that _about her!"

"Er...usually we just bullshit about what going on around us. We've never ACTUALLY talked about...ourselves."

"Well, now's the time, Stu! Don't miss it!"

"What are you guys talking about?" Ava asked, dressed in a button down shirt, which was tied off at the belly and the sleeves rolled up. "Talking about tits and pussies again?" She smirked, her hand on her hip. "I'm in if you are. Except I don't know if you want to hear me talk about dicks."

Phil laughed. Stu blushed a little.

"No, go ahead," Alan said, dumbly.

Stu could help but stare at that belly with the red jewel and the scorpion tattoo. A flash of a memory came to him...kissing that jeweled, tattooed belly when he went down on her...oh! FUCK! He had to stop thinking about Ava...and how soft she was...shit!

"Did you guys find anything in your pockets that could help us?" Ava asked.

They dug into their pockets, pulling out receipts and coins...Alan pulled out something small and white with dried blood. "What's this?" he said.

"Let me see..." Stu said. "Holy shit! That's my tooth!" he exclaimed. "What are you doing with my tooth?" He looked at an ATM receipt. "11:08 receipt from the Bellagio. $800! Great! I'm so fucked."

"I have a valet ticket from Caesars," Alan added. "Looks like we got in at 5:15 AM."

_Driving drunk. Classic._ Ava thought, sniggering.

"What's that on your wrist?" asked Ava, pointing to Phil. "It looks like a hospital wristband."

Phil looked at it. "Yea."

"You were in the hospital last night," Stu said, looking at it.

"Hey, man," said Alan, looking very worried. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, dude!" Phil said. "I guess we should start there."

"Lets go get the car," said Ava said. "Maybe Doug is at the hospital." She looked worried. God forbid happened to her older brother. "What if...?" she began tearing up. "Oh...no!" She clapped her hands to her mouth, imagining Doug, lying in the hospital hurt or maybe...

She hugged Stu tightly and started crying into his shirt. He had never seen this vulnerable side of Ava before. Usually she was tough. This was new to him. He stroked her hair, comforting her with light shushs.

"I'm sorry, Stu," she sobbed. "I'm...I'm scared. I just hope he isn't hurt. It would kill me if...something happened to him."

"It' OK, Ava. We'll find Doug. I promise."

* * *

They went up to the front to get the Mercedes. God forbid what they did with it after their crazy night in Vegas. Probably wrapped it around a tree or fucked it up really bad. If they showed up with a wrecked car, who knows what Sid Garner would do to them? Sid looked like he stepped out of _The Godfather_: big and intimidating. He could fuck them up if he wanted.

"Well, apparently I bit you last night," Ava said. "I hope I didn't hurt you."

"You left a mark. I'm gonna be in deep shit with Melissa."

"Sorry about that. If you want, I'll take the heat from Melissa once we get home."

"Really? You would do that?"

"Of course, Stu! You're my friend. I'd rather she kick my ass than yours."

Alan was holding the baby on his chest in a baby carrier. Ava looked a bit worried. "Are you sure you are qualified to carry a baby, Al?"

"Yea. I found a baby once."

"Right." Ava said, uncomfortably. "Just be careful, Alan."

Soon, a group of teenagers flocked around the four of them, staring at Ava.

"Excuse me?" said one of them. "Are you Cherry Girl?"

Ava raised her eyebrows. "Uh...what are you talking about?"

"This is you, isn't it?" one of the boys said. They tapped on his iPhone and pulled up a video from YouTube, which said: CHERRY GIRL. They played the video and there was Ava...in some kind of strip club with Stu on the stage.

_"My friend, Stuey has never had a lap dance in his life," _Ava's drunk self said, slurring. _"What do you say: Should I give him one?"_

More shouts and yells of encouragement. Music blasted in the background. Alice Cooper's _Little by Little_. Soon, a blonde stripper put a chair up on the stage. Ava shoved Stu in the chair and did a lap dance in a wild, erotic fashion, swaying her hips, taking off her clothes. Hoots and whistles filled the entire room.

"_How much you wanna bet I can feed my friend Stuey here a cherry...bending backwards?_" said her drunk self. There were cheers and whistles coming from the crowd. "_How much?"_ There were shouts in the crowd of amounts. "_$500__ says I can do it!"_

She placed the stem of a maraschino cherry between her teeth. Then, she bent backwards with amazing flexibility and the cherry touched his lips, which he grasped with his teeth, giggling...the crowd went wild with whoas and cheers, whistles and hoots, people waving their money and throwing it to her! Then, they kissed...Then the video stopped.

Ava blanched...then flushed. The boys stared at her, in both shock, amazement and...then Phil in his usual smirk, Stu's frozen in horror and Alan just stupid.

"Shit, Avers! Wow, I didn't know you were _that_ flexible, Ava," Phil laughed.

Ava was mortified, but soon found herself laughing uncomfortably. "Oh...wow! Um...when did this happen?"

"It was posted last night," said one of the girls. "Ermahgawd! That was so COOL!"

"You're really hot too," said one of the boys. "Could you sign my ass?" He pulled down his pants, handing her a marker.

"Um...sure." She signed it, making her V in her name in the shape of a cherry.

"Can we get a picture as well?" said one of the girls. "Oh! It's the guy! He's here too!"

The girls all gathered around Ava and Stu, cell phone cameras clicked. There was a chitter of random thanks and they took off.

"Ohhh shit!" Stu moaned, burying his head in his hands. "No, no, no! This isn't happening! I'm so fucking dead."

"Calm down, Stu," Ava said. "Maybe Melissa didn't see it yet."

"Are you fucking kidding me?! This video is all over the fucking Internet! Of course, she's seen it!"

"OK, Stu!" Phil said, sensing tension. "You need to pull yourself together. This shit will blow over."

Soon, they heard beeping and looked up to see a giant crane removing a mattress that was impaled on a Caesar statue. Strange.

"That's something you don't see every day," Ava commented. The boys nodded. She saw a tourist packing their car. "What the hell happened there?" She pointed towards the statue.

"Some stupid asshole threw their bed out the window," the tourist said. "Probably partying too much. Some guys just can't handle Vegas."

Soon the valet drove up to the front with a police car. "Here you go, officers," said the valet.

"Uh...that's not..." Stu began.

"Shht!" Ava said, elbowing him.

Oh FUCK! What did they do?! They reluctantly got into the car. Alan hit the baby in the head with the door. It started crying loudly.

"You stupid dick!" Stu exclaimed. "You just hit the baby in the head!"

"Are my glasses OK?" Alan asked, stupidly.

"OK!" Ava said. "You're not allowed to handle the baby, Alan!" She removed the baby out of the carrier on Alan's chest. She held it close, bouncing, calming it down with soft cooing.

"It was an accident!" Alan said, earnestly.

"Yea! The _last_ thing we need is to have a baby with a giant bruise on its head...and a really pissed off mother, whoever that is, filing a child endangerment charge against us."

"It's not endangerment if it was an accident."

Ava rolled her eyes in exasperation. He really was an idiot. "Alan, you're not allowed to handle the baby and that's final!" she said, firmly.

"OK, Mom," joked Phil, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Should we buckle our seat belts as well?"

They climbed into the car and began to drive towards Desert Palms Hospital. Alan and Ava sat in the back with the baby. They were stuck in traffic.

"This is wrong," Stu moaned. "This is illegal."

"Dude, seriously, shut up!" Phil said. "Can't you see the fun in this?"

"How can this be fun? We're driving a stolen cop car with a missing child!" Stu said, sarcastically.

"I think the cop car is cool!" Alan said.

"Dude," said Ava to Phil. "Use the sirens. We'll get out of this fucking traffic jam faster."

Phil looked for the sirens, flipping the switch on. The blare of the sirens and the lights flashed. Phil turned the wheel onto the sidewalk, picking up the speaker, telling people to get out of the way. Stu was sinking in his seat, trying to hide. Phil told some lady she had a nice rack, which she smiled at them.

Alan explored the junk on the floor, finding a beer bottle, tossing it aside.

"Here's some panties," he announced, holding up a black thong that was ripped to shreds, staring at it vacantly.

Ava blushed, recognizing it. "That's..that's mine," she admitted, embarrassed, grabbing her tattered panties.

"You had sex in a police car, Ava?" Phil asked.

"Um...I guess..." she said, a bit surprised herself. "I don't remember...ew! There's something wet under my ass," she said, lifting her butt up and reached under to find a condom, used. "EW! It's a condom!" She flung it on the floor, which landed on Alan's shoe.

"FUCK! Ava! Gross! Don't get pussy juice and jizz on me!" Alan cried, grossed out, kicking it away.

"Sorry, dude!"

"What's this?" Alan said, pointing behind Ava to a red, dried arch that was stained on the seat.

"I think that's blood."

"Oh shit! You killed someone!" Alan exclaimed.

"You stupid douche!" Ava said. "It's too small. And it's confined to one spot...ohhh shit! Stu, I think I bit you in here..."

Stu's eyes went wide...the realization came to him...

* * *

**_4:00 AM Police Car, Outside  
_**

_Oh FUCK! FUCK! Ava was so fucking hot and wild! They made out in the back seat, her straddling him. He released her bra, which opened in front, stuffing her tits in his mouth, sucking her velvety rough nipples. She hissed and moaned, throwing her head back..._

_Soon, his shirt was pulled over his head, she began caressing his chest. Then, a clink of a belt buckle and hiss of a zipper, Stu's pants were open. Ava's dark head went down on him, her cherry lips...her hot tongue teasing him. OHHhhh! How she stroked him, sucked him. Her lip gloss left a red, sparkly O on his cock. She cupped his balls and played with them...she even licked them...OH! Melissa __**NEVER**__ did that! How good it felt! Then, with a red polished finger, she massaged his taint, looking up at him, seductively. FUCKITY FUCK! He'd never even been touched there! Yet, it felt SOOOOO good!_

_"I want you, Ava!" Stu admitted._

_Down went his pants and his hand went up and ripped her panties, the sound of cloth tearing and...reaching in his pocket, he got a condom and rolled it on, fumbling._

_"Here, let me..." she said, giggling. She did it with such ease. _

_She mounted and rode him hard and fast. Reaching behind, tugging his balls lightly. FUCK! That felt good! Her pussy hot and tight, fitting so perfectly! The sweat and grunts. Tangles of tongues and legs. He could've sworn he heard Meatloaf's__** Paradise on the Dashboard Light**__ on the radio. Soon, Ava started stroking herself...oh! The waves from her self-pleasure were radiating right on his cock! Holy SHIT! It felt so FUCKING GOOD! FUCK! FUCK!_

_"You like that?" she said in a ragged voice, bucking her hips with wild abandon. _

_"Oh FUCK, yes!" he growled, raggedly. "Keep going!" He bit his lip so hard that he was going to draw blood. _

_Just then the second chorus of Meatloaf's __**Paradise**__ happened to play once their orgasm claimed them, Ava bit down hard on Stu's shoulder...he cried out loudly in a mixture of pleasure and pain...drenched in sweat and sex...breathing so hard and exhausted..._

_"I think I bit you, Stuey," she giggled. "Sorry."_

_"Oh, it's OK," he slurred. "I like...biting. Melissa never wants to bite me."_

_"Yea, she's a frigid bitch."_

_More giggles. Soon, the door flung open and there was Doug. Stu hastily pulled up his pants, hiding his shame. Ava did the same with her breasts with Stu's shirt.  
_

_"YOU SONOFABITCH!" yelled Doug, his face twisted with rage. "GERROFF MY SISTER! YOU FUCKIN' TRAITOR!" He pulled Stu out of the car, punched him in the ribs angrily. _

_"Stop it, Dougie!" Ava screamed, shielding Stu. "Leave him alone! I love him!"_

_"But...Doug, you gave me your blessing!" Stu said. "You said I could..."_

_"Bullshit! I never said that!"_

_"Dude!" said Phil. "Calm down! Look, if it'll keep you from beating up Stu...who cares for her...I have to tell you, man. I've been keeping this secret too long. Ava gave me a blowjob when we were teenagers."_

_"YOU FUCKIN'..." Doug lunched at Phil and started beating him up. "Asshole! Traitor! Sonofabitch!" _

_Alan and Stu separated them; Doug flailing his arms. Suddenly, Phil passed out on the ground..._

_"Phil doesn't look so good," said Stu. "We should take him to the hospital."_

* * *

"Oh fuck!" Stu said. "What did..." He buried his head in his hands, completely embarrassed. He cheated on Melissa twice and was caught on camera making out with her at a fucking strip club! Shit!

"You..." Phil laughed. "HOLY FUCKING SHIT! Alright, Stu! A car fuck! When was the last time you had sex in a car?"

Stu couldn't remember the last time he did that. Maybe with Melissa...midway, she insisted that they go home...she didn't like being out in the open. This surely had to be a first as well. First, in a public bathroom, now in a police car...what else did he do with Ava? God forbid...

Ava couldn't help but smile. She had fucked plenty of guys in cars. "Wow!" she said. "Well, that's a first for me. I don't think I've done it in a cop car before."

"Damn, Ava! Do you _ever _stop being slutty? Seriously, is there _any_ place you _haven't _fucked a guy?" He laughed.

"Nope," she said, smiling. "I've always wanted to fuck a cop...and I would've. Damn cop was gay when he pulled me over for my tail light being out."

"Let's just get to Desert Palm Hospital," Stu said, trying to change the subject. He wanted to get his mind off of his cheating debauchery that he did with Ava. He didn't need to hear anymore. This shit was just getting worse and worse by the minute. Soon, Melissa would be calling him and screaming at him through the phone until he was deaf.

He prayed Melissa didn't see the video. Prayed that God would spare him the wrath of his angry girlfriend...well, too late now. The demon inside him made him do it.


	6. Dr and Mrs Stuart Price

_Dr. and Mrs. Stuart Price  
_

Once the arrived at Desert Palm Hospital, Phil asked the treating doctor, Dr. Valsh, about his admittance. Dr. Valsh was examining an elderly patient with giant underwear.

"I told you before," said Dr. Valsh. "You came in with a mild concussion, Mr. Wenneck. None of you could articulate what happened."

"Do you remember how many of us there were?" asked Phil.

"Er...I dunno. You guys...definitely no baby...and one other guy...kind of looked a little like this one." He gestured to Ava.

"That's...my brother!" she said, worried. "Have you seen him? Was he hurt?"

"No. He was fine. He...seemed a bit pissed though. Just whacked out of his mind...you all were."

"Did he say why?"

"I couldn't understand anything he was saying...but something about you sleeping with...him," he gestured to Stu. "And this guy getting a blowjob from you..." he gestured to Phil.

Ava thought. _Great! He knows! _

Soon, Dr. Valsh pulled down the old guy's underwear and...

"OK!" Ava exclaimed, uncomfortable. "I'm gonna go wait outside."

"Good idea," said Stu.

Great! Just what Doug needed to find out! But...they were drunk. Maybe he wouldn't remember and her secret with Phil would be safe. After all, none of them could remember what happened at the bachelor party...except the sex in the bathroom with Stu. But...why couldn't anyone remember anything?

Soon, the boys came out, following Dr. Valsh. She joined them and they waited while he went to get Phil's chart. Ava looked over at very disturbed Stu: head buried in his hands, his hair all up through his fingers, looking flustered.

"Are you alright, Stu?" she asked.

"No, I'm not alright," he said, trying to remain calm, his voice rose a bit.

"Do you...want to talk about it?"

"Talk about what?" Stu said, irritated. "I cheated! How many times we did it, I don't know! Plus, I was caught on camera and there's a YouTube video of us...at a strip club with you in your underwear, giving me a lap dance, making out with me. Then, you pull a stunt like that by telling Melissa of what I did! You have any idea how upsetting that is?"

Ava looked at him with soft eyes. She hated Melissa, yet she understood. She recalled a few relationships she had wrecked in her life. How many visits she got from angry girlfriends, fiancees...even wives. She liked having sex, but it wasn't her fault she didn't know she was the 'other' woman. She always took extra precautions not to have sex with married men or in committed relationships. She flirted, but never fucked them. Well, there were exceptions: if one cheated and they wanted to even it out, fine. But seeing how upsetting this was to Stu, she realized how insensitive she was.

"I'm sorry, Stu," she said. "I was just being me. I say crazy shit to Melissa just to piss her off. I didn't mean to. I won't do it again."

He sighed, rubbing his head. He felt terrible yelling at her. "Thank you. This is really hard for me to wrap my head around. I'm sorry I was a bastard to you just now."

"It's OK, Stu."

He smiled. Yet, why would someone so attractive like Ava would have sex with him was beyond him. He had to know.

"So...why did you...? You know..." he asked, shy.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I...just...want to know why you chose me. I mean, I know I'm not your type."

"What are you talking about, Stu? I've dated dentists before."

He laughed. "That's not what I'm saying. I mean, I'm not exactly...you know."

"That's not true. You're a _very_ attractive, good-looking guy, Stu. And you know it."

Stu blushed, beaming. Melissa hardly complimented him anymore. She always pointed out his flaws: his thinning hair, his flat ass, how he had a little bit of a paunch in his belly, and his clothes didn't hang on him right. It was nice to hear that he was still good looking.

"And I've dated plenty of dorky guys...and I don't mean slept with them. I mean, sometimes I do, but that's not my point. The point is that I go on dates all the time. I'm not a _total_ slut. There's guys I like to date and guys I like to screw. I like to get to know some guys...if they're worth pursuing.""

"Really? I didn't know you still did that. I think the last boyfriend you actually had was Dave Cotis."

"Yea...Dave Cotis," she said, reminiscing. "He was a prick. I caught him in the shower with his ex."

"I remembered the night it happened," he said, smiling. "You drunk dialed me, singing _As the World Falls Down _from _Labyrinth_. The bartender told me to come get you because you were being very loud and unruly, threatening to have you arrested for disturbing the peace." He chuckled. "I picked you up and we slow danced in the parking lot...then you puked on my shoes."

Ava stared at Stu. "You remember that? Wow! I had no idea I did that."

"Well, you were a mess, falling on your ass drunk...plus you were singing really loud when you called me." Stu chuckled a little. "So, what would I be...in your category of date or screw?"

Ava shrugged with a smile. "You're a tough one, I'll admit. I guess, date first."

"Good to hear," he said, pleased.

Stu stared at Ava. They always had a connection for as long as they've known each other. Though he kept his feelings about her to himself, he wondered if Ava would ever care for him too. He certainly felt warm and fuzzy inside near her. He still could feel that kiss at _Three Angry Wives_. How soft her lips were, the cherry taste from her lip gloss...how he completely surrendered to her. He wished he could relive it again.

Soon, Dr Valsh came back with the chart and read it. "Well, Mr. Wenneck, you came in around 4:45 AM. You had a minor concussion and some bruising. Pretty standard." He opened another chart. "Stuart Price. You had a bite mark on your right shoulder. We bandaged that and gave you some antibiotic ointment to prevent infection. Nothing serious." He looked at Ava. "So...you're Cherry Girl, the biter?"

"Yea...that was my fault," she admitted, blushing. "Stu and I were...intimate when it happened...I believe..."

"Right. You were saying that last night repeatedly," He looked at the chart. "We took some blood work, Mr. Wenneck. And it turns out you had a large amount of Ruphylin in your system."

"What's that?" he said, confused.

"Ruphylin. Roofies. Date rape drug."

WHAT?! Roofies! Where the fuck did Roofies come from?! No wonder they couldn't remember anything! Someone had to have slipped them in their drinks.

"Where did we come from?" asked Phil. "Could you give us an idea?"

"Um...well...you guys were talking about some wedding...from the Best Little Chapel. Someone got married..."

"OK, could you give us the address?" Phil said.

"Yea, it's a the corner of Get a Map and Fuck Off," Dr. Valsh said rudely. "I'm a doctor, not a tour guide."

The boys stared incredulously.

"Jesus! There was no need to be so rude, Dr. Bones," Ava said, offended.

"Right, Cherry Girl, I'm _really_ sorry," he said sarcastically. "Sorry I have patients to attend to rather than help a group of stupid tourists like you. You're all big enough to figure it out yourselves."

"WHAT?!" yelled Ava loudly. "No! I don't want to fuck you! You got herpes! I don't want that shit!"

Some nurses and doctors passing by slowed down and stared. The doctor glared at Ava. She embarrassed him; the boys were snorting suppressed laughs.

"How about you get the fuck out of here before I call security?" he whispered, low.

Ava stared defiantly at this rude asshole. "How about you bend over and fuck yourself?"

"OK!" Stu interjected. "Let's go! Thanks again! Sorry about that."

He led Ava towards the exit along the boys, hurriedly, knowing she would start a fight.

"What a cock!" she commented, rolling her eyes. The boys nodded in agreement.

"The guy is a doctor," said Stu. "He's really busy."

"I don't give a shit if he is a doctor. He didn't have to be so rude. Fucker!"

"I'm with Ava on this one," said Alan.

She typed in the name of the chapel on the map app on her iPhone. The address popped up on the Strip. "Let's go to the Best Little Chapel."

* * *

The three men, the girl and a baby drove out to the Best Little Chapel. It was a tiny white chapel with a glaring sign that loudly announced its name in lights with a big pink heart, located on the Vegas Boulevard.

"What about the baby?" asked Stu.

"Just leave him in the car," Phil said. "He'll be fine. I cracked the window."

"You idiot, Phil!" snapped Ava. "You NEVER leave a baby in the car! It gets very hot in Vegas so I wouldn't leave him in here even with the window cracked. I'll hold him. You guys do the talking."

"Damn, Mom!" Phil said, sarcastically. "I'm sorry!"

"Well, maybe if you were more of a responsible parent..."

"Hey! I don't come to _your_ house and judge you...especially who's in your bed."

"I'm surprised at you, Phil. Would you leave your kids in the car in Las Vegas heat? I know how to take care of kids. You need to step it up, Phil and act more responsibly since you are a Dad."

"Bitch!" he murmured.

"I hope you didn't call me a bitch, Phil. Because I will kick your ass!"

"OK! OK! I'm sorry, Ava."

They went inside, which was your typical Vegas chapel with gold curtains, cheesy carpeting...and a register near the entrance. They looked around for someone inside. There was a man at the front, decorating with a woman.

"Excuse me?" said Phil.

"Hey!" said the Italian man. "Look at these guys! You miss me?! You miss Eddie? How are you, my friend?" He hugged the boys, who looked very confused. "Oh! Hello, pretty lady!" He took Ava's hand and kissed it, which she blushed and smiled. "Listen, you guys, I've known some sick people in all of my life. This guy," he gestured to Stu. "Is the craziest, wildest bastard I've ever seen. I mean..."

"Wait, wait! What do you mean?" Phil asked. "Him?" He pointed to Stu.

"Yea."

"So, could you help us? We're looking for our friend, Doug. You remember him. He's...her brother..."

"Ah!" said Eddie. "Yes. Small guy, like a monkey...looked a bit like the pretty lady," He gestured to Ava.

"Yes. We're twins. He's my older brother. We're looking for him," Ava replied.

"So, is there anything you tell us what may have happened last night?" said Stu.

"You don't remember?" Eddie said. "You..and this pretty lady! Crazy...all over each other...like two wild animals..."

"Ugh! Did we fuck in your chapel?" Ava groaned. "I'm really sorry."

"No, no!" Eddie said. "You came in...with this other pretty lady, a blonde. I mean...this guy, really crazy! He not only wanted to get married not to you..." he gestured to Ava. "But TWO pretty ladies!" He laughed. "Really funny. But sadly, I cannot do that...legally. He had to pick. So, he picked...you. The other lady, you said she could be your maid of honor."

"Uh...excuse me?" Ava said.

"Yes. You and this guy," he pointed to Stu. "I marry you guys. You don't remember?"

* * *

_**The Best Little Chapel-2:45 AM**  
_

_They were all falling down drunk, laughing. Ava was in her bra and underwear, her breasts were practically spilling out of her bra. Stu had his arms wrapped around Ava and a blonde woman, holding a beer in one hand. They walked into parking lot of The Best Little Chapel, which was next-door to the strip club. The boys and the girls stumbled in. _

_"Hello!" said Eddie, the friendly owner of wedding chapel. "Welcome to the Best Little Chapel. Where your dream wedding comes true. Who is getting married today?"_

_"I am!" Stu announced, still giggling.  
_

_"Well, congratulations! So, who are you marrying today?"_

_"Both of these pretty ladies." He sniggered. He kissed both of them. Hot! Two women, two sets of tits. How cool would it be to have two wives?  
_

_"Oh, Stu! How honored! We're gonna have a double wedding!" Ava cooed, clapping her hands like a child. _

_"Well, I have no problem with polygamy, sir," Eddie said, a bit uneasy. "But, legally, I can't do that. You know, laws and shit, here. You might have to choose."  
_

_"Then," he looked over at Ava. "I pick this one." He knelt down, fumbling for the velvet box that contained his grandmother's ring. "Ava Genevieve Billings, would you do me the honor...of being my wife?"_

_"Oooh! Really, Stuey?!" Ava squealed. "I'd love to! I'm gonna be a bride!" She looked over at the blonde, sadly...feeling sorry. "Sorry you didn't get picked, Jade."  
_

_"Oh, it's OK," said Jade with a smile, shrugging. _

_"Say!" Ava said, even more excited. "You could be my maid of honor! You're such a good friend."_

_"Oh, thank you, Ava! I'd be very honored."  
_

_"Well, are we getting married or what, Stuey?" Ava said. "Oh...I look terrible."_

_"That's not true, Ava," he said. "You're...very hot."_

_"I have a dress if you can use," said Eddie. "You can keep it too. It was a left-behind by a bride."_

_"Sweet! Jade can help me get dressed. Can't see the bride before her wedding, right, Stuey? Do you have a bathroom?"_

_He pointed to the back, which Jade led the way to the bathroom. Ava stumbling behind her, tripping on her feet. Her panties were practically shredded, which she tossed in the trash. All her other panties were lost. Jade helped Ava get into the dress. Ava was trembling with excitement._

_"Oh! I'm so nervous, Jade," she said with a tremor. "Do you think Stu will like me like this?"  
_

_"Of course! He genuinely seems to care about you, Ava." She looked her over. "You look very beautiful."  
_

_"Aw, thanks, Jade. You're a sweetie. Can you get Doug? Tell them I'm ready!"  
_

_Outside, the boys dressed in matching blue tuxedos like one would wear at the prom. Stu was nervous._

_"Are you OK with me...marrying your sister?" Stu said._

_"Of course, Stu!" Doug said. "You've always been good to her. Glad you never fucked her like all my other friends did."_

_"She's ready," said Jade. "I think she asked for you, Doug."  
_

_Doug went to the bathroom to find his sister. "I'm ready to walk my little sister down the aisle since she's getting married to my friend."_

_"Oh!" she said, tears coming. She started sobbing. "I love you, big brother!" She hugged him._

_"I love you too, Ava."_

_Eddie cued the music as Doug walked Ava down the aisle towards her groom. She was shaking like a leaf as she saw how handsome Stu was. Once at the alter, Doug gave his sister a hug and a cheek peck and guided her hand to her new husband-to-be. Ava and Stu stared at each other, adoringly. Or was it...drunkenness? She didn't know what was real anymore...nor did she give a shit.  
_

_Eddie rambled on and on with the wedding vows. Ava and Stu shook with impatience, but might as well. _

_"Do you, Stuart Isaac Price, take thee Ava to be your lawful wedded wife, for richer or poorer..."_

_"I do!" Stu said, interrupting. Ava giggled. _

_"Very well. Do you Ava Genevieve Billings, take thee Stu to be your lawful wedded husband..."_

_"YES! I do! I dooo!" she interrupted as well, squealing. _

_"Very well. By the power vested in me in the state of Nevada, I now pronounce you husband and wife." Eddie said. "Put the ring on, Stu."_

_Stu fumbled for the velvet box in his hand and took his grandmother's ring out and slid it on Ava's red-polished, callous finger. She was near tears as she looked at it._

_"Oh, STU!" she sighed. "It's beautiful!"_

_"It's...for you, Ava," he said, shyly. "I want you to have it. It was my grandmother's...and now it's yours...because you're a part of me now." He started crying too.  
_

_"Oh, that's so sweet!" she simpered. "I'm glad to be part of your life, Stuart."_

_"Go ahead and kiss that bride, Stuart!" Eddie said._

_Stu bent Ava backwards like he would in a romance novel...__He kissed his new bride. Ava Genevieve Price. Hmm...nice ring to it! There were flashes from a camera from somewhere.  
_

_"I love you," he said._

_"I love you too, baby," Ava replied. _

* * *

Ava looked at Stu, unable to believe what she was hearing! She married Stu?! So_ this_ was the man she not only had two one-night stands, but married. Oh GOD! What the fuck did she drink last night? Was this for real?

"Wait a minute, wait a minute," Ava said, holding her hands up, trying to make sense of everything. "I...and him...?"

"Yes!" said Eddie. "You two were all over each other! Never have I seen two people in love. I give you a dress. Let's just say you were a bit indecent. But no problem."

He pulled out the photo album and showed them the wedding. There was Ava, dressed in a slinky white dress and a horrible wedding hat. She and Stu looked really happy in all the pictures. Like a husband and wife. The four men were dressed in blue outfits like one would see at the prom. There was a blonde woman with Ava, hugging each other like they were best friends. There was Stu and Ava, sharing a kiss. Her showing off her ring on Stu's back, giving her a piggy back ride. Stu had his hand on Ava's breast, which she was laughing. It looked...so...real.

"This...can't be happening," Stu moaned, his voice shaking as he flipped through the photos.

"You got married to Ava, Stu!" Alan said, happy. "That's great!"

"So, _this _was _your_ ring?" Ava said, looking at it. She had a look of indignation. "Why didn't you tell me earlier at the hotel, Stu?"

Stu looked ashamed. "Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier. I...I wanted to be sure first. I should've told you."

Ava swallowed, feeling sick. "I...I need to get some air," she said, speed walking to the door.

Stu watched as Ava went outside, holding the baby. He looked at her and sighed. His heart broke a bit, knowing Ava had said earlier that she would want an annulment. He had done a crazy thing like this and now this was going to ruin everything between them.

"I gotta say, Stu," said Phil. "You two seriously look happy in these photos. I mean, look how real that kiss is. That is a sign of a man in love."

"That's it!" Stu whined. "My life is over!"

"Dude, how is your life over?" Phil sighed. "At least you married someone you know instead of a stranger."

"I can't stay married to her," said Stu. "I have a girlfriend, who's going to crush my nuts into oblivion...and from now on, Ava will be known as my ex-wife, which will make shit even more awkward."

"Melissa is not going to find out. Seriously, how can you not enjoy this? You married the perfect girl."

"I don't think she feels the same way, Phil."

"Then, tell her how you feel, man!" said Alan. "What's the worst she can do? Ask if she'll stay married to you, Stu. Maybe she will hold off on the annulment."

_Jesus Christ! He was such a child!_ Stu thought, rolling his eyes. Like Ava would ever do such a thing! Or...would she? He had to admit that Ava was the perfect girl. It was better than marrying a random stranger. Yet, seeing those pictures and how happy they looked, it was so genuine. He really did...love her? But, how would she react if he told her?

Soon, Eddie came out with boxes.

"What's all this?" asked Phil.

"The high roller package you ordered," Eddie explained. "Coffee mugs, baseball caps, and fancy calendars of Stu and Ava."

Stu put his hands up to his neck. Fuck! This day was getting worse by the minute! He could only imagine how Ava was handling this.

"Go...fucking...talk to Ava!" Phil said, slowly.

Stu went outside to join Ava, who was leaning against the car, staring out at the Vegas boulevard. Her face was very solemn, her arms crossed and deep in thought. She put her sun hat on the baby to protect him from the hot Las Vegas sun. The wind blew through her dark hair and there was a scent of yuccas in the dry air. She looked really beautiful.

"Hi," he said quietly.

Ava smiled uncomfortably. "Hi."

"I guess...I'm your husband now," he began.

"Yea."

Ava twisted the ring on her finger, looking at it. It was beautiful, yet she couldn't keep it. It was Stu's. She didn't deserve to wear such a thing.

"I guess...you want this back."

Stu wanted to say yes, but a part of him wanted her to have it. "Well...just hold onto it for now. I don't want to lose it." Sucking in his lips, unsure of how to approach this delicate topic. "Do you still want an annulment?"

"I think it would be best." She sighed, looking out at the boulevard.

Stu's heart broke some more, feeling tears coming, but brushed them away. "Would you do something for me?"

Ava looked at Stu. "Depends."

"Could we just...get to know each other...you know, stay married until we find Doug? I'd like to...experience it for once...with you."

Ava raised an eyebrow. It was a very strange request. "'Get to know me?' You've known me for YEARS, Stu! Surely, you haven't forgotten."

"I know, but I feel like I don't know you too well. I know we just bullshit at Doug or Phil's whenever we see each other. And I promise we can get an annulment once this is all over."

Ava shrugged. Why not? It's not like she had done a lot of crazy shit in her life. Be Stu's wife for a weekend. Hmm...maybe she should rub that in Melissa's face. _Bitch, I fucked and married your boyfriend! Ha ha!_

"I guess. If that's what you want, Stu, I'll be happy to oblige. Well, I'm Mrs. Stuart Price now. What do you want to know about me?"

Stu had to think hard. How does one start a conversation with Ava? He had to think of some topics.

"Um...what's your favorite color?"

"Red and black."

"That's two colors." He rolled his eyes.

"What can I say? I like two things. I'm a twin."

Stu chuckled. "True. What's your favorite food?"

"Pizza and Mexican. I eat both of them at the same time. It's quite delicious actually. I once made a Mexican pizza with fresh guacamole and ground turkey."

Stu smiled. "I think I'd like to try that."

"Well, I usually order take-out. I'm so lazy!" she laughed. "That's the only good thing I know how to make."

"What's your favorite music?"

"Classic rock. Alice Cooper, AC/DC, Meatloaf. David Bowie. You know, all the good ones."

"I like them too." He smiled. Leaning against the car, he looked at her, dark hair blowing in the wind. "I think...when we had sex...in the cop car, I heard Meatloaf's _Paradise on the Dashboard Light_."

"Really?! Huh! Interesting. I love that song! I lost my virginity to that song."

"So did I!" he said, excited. "I did it at my senior prom. In the broom closet with my date, Marlene Feffer." He sighed, reminiscing. "It was horrible. She had braces and they got caught on my cock. Never again will I have another blowjob from a girl with braces."

"Me: junior prom. With the principal on his office desk. Let's just say he never gave me another detention after that."

So Stu and Ava had some things in common. She sighed.

"So, what do you do for a job?" asked Stu.

"Other than roller derby...would it bother you if I told you I work as a bartender?"

Stu smiled, a bit uncomfortable. "No. I guess you hear people's shit everyday."

Ava smiled. "Yea. But...I can tell you, I don't want to do it for the rest of my life. I have found something I like to do. I've taking online classes. I want to become a kindergarten teacher or a daycare worker. I like working with kids. I also like coloring, snack time...and of course, nap time."

"That's great."

Of all the women in the world, he could've married that blonde girl...yet, he chose her. Why? She didn't understand. Did he...love her? Curious...

"This ring is beautiful, Stu. Where did you get it?" She looked at the beautiful diamond, which was encircled by smaller diamonds on a white gold band.

"It belonged to my grandmother," he said. He told her the story about his grandmother and her survival of the Holocaust.

"She sounds very brave. I have so much respect for people like that."

"She was."

Stu thought about it. Maybe his family wouldn't approve of Ava. Too wild for his conservative Jewish family, who would take one look at her and give looks of disfavor. They certainly wouldn't allow Stu to marry, let alone be buried in a cemetery with a tattooed and pierced wild child like Ava Billings. Yet, would Ava convert to Judaism? Would she be willing to?

"How do you feel about...religion? I'm just curious." he asked.

"Me? Oh, I like the idea of having a spiritual belief in a higher power. I mean, I believe in God, of course. I like to think of him as an all-loving and forgiving entity. I don't really care too much for attending places of worship...unless it's a wedding or funeral." She paused. "I know you're Jewish, Stu. Are you...religious?"

"Well, I do honor the holidays and traditions. I don't really attend a synagogue very often...except when the occasion calls for it."

"Do you eat Kosher?"

"Would that bother you?"

"No. I'm fine with that. I could learn to cook Kosher. I will tell you that I _really_ love my pork, especially bacon. I can't eat shellfish anyway because I'm allergic, so you're good there. I can live with Hanukkah, the Jewish holidays and traditions as well. As long as I get to have a Christmas party. I love those and I've got to have my eggnog with rum."

Stu couldn't believe what he was hearing. He was surprised how serious she was, willing to do all of those things for him.

"Really?"

"Of course! If it's important to you, then I have enough respect for people who are serious about their beliefs. Just no fanatic or cultist crap. I think that's creepy."

"Well, you can eat all the pork in the world if you wanted. I wouldn't be offended. I eat pork myself...honestly, I don't care."

Ava giggled a little. "Well, aren't you a dirty, dirty Jew boy?" she joked. "Want me to spank your naughty Jew ass?"

Stu blushed a little. All of a sudden...he had an image of Ava, dressed in a dominatrix outfit, saying that line...

_You're a dirty Jew boy, Stuey! You need to be spanked.  
_

_Spank me, mistress! I've been a bad boy!_

"Thinking dirty little things?" Ava giggled; she could read him like a book. "You're picturing me spanking you, aren't you?"

"No! I'm not!" He flushed. He wasn't going to tell her that. She'd think he was a pervert.

"It's OK, Stu. You can tell me anything without being embarrassed. I won't judge you and your dirty little fantasies. Hell, if you had something in mind you wanted to do in the bedroom, I wouldn't mind."

"Really?" Now, he was intrigued.

"Why not?" She shrugged. "Just as long as it doesn't involve animals, blood, piss, shit or strangling. That's creepy, gross and cruel to animals."

"That's fine. I don't like that stuff either."He swallowed a bit uncomfortable.

There was a long silence between the two of them. What else would Ava be willing to do in the bedroom? How far would she go? He had some things he wanted to try: forget it with Melissa. It was never going to happen.

"Could I ask you something, Ava? About...well, stuff in the bedroom?"

"Ask away."

"Would you do...anal?" he asked, very uncomfortable.

"Um...sure," she said. "Not really a fan, but willing. All I ask is you shower first, empty your baggage and use protection. I'm very hygienic when it comes to back-door play."

"How about S&M?"

"Love it! No strangling though. And I need to know limits ahead of time."

"Sex toys?"

"Love them!"

"Threesomes?"

"I've never done that and not a fan, really. But willing to give it a try. They need to have a clean bill of health and use protection." She looked at Stu; did he really want to try all those things? "Why? Did you have something in mind you want to try?"

"No. I was just curious," he said, a bit embarrassed. He don't want to cheat any more than he probably did last night.

"I'm an open-minded person, Stu. I like to discuss stuff first so I know what I'm getting involved with so I can prepare myself. There have been a few men I've hooked up with who were into sick things that I didn't like...and they sprung it on me. And I don't like that."

"That's good. I don't like those kinds of surprises either...well, surprising me with lingerie, that's fine."

"Well, I happen to have some back at the Mirage if you want to see." Ava said, her eyes glittering seductively.

"Er..." he said, uncomfortable; he was tempted. "Let's just find Doug right now."

Ava shrugged. Stu was glad to share these kinds of secrets with her. How lucky was he! He had a girl who was willing to try stuff at least. It was good she had a few standards, of course. He guessed they were two perverts!

"So, why did you bring the ring to Vegas?" Ava asked.

"No reason. I..." he sighed. "Once this trip was over, I'm going to propose to Melissa...at your brother's wedding. During the reception."

"You're going to marry her?" Ava said, raising her eyebrows.

"Well, yea. I feel that it's time."

She couldn't believe it! He was going to marry that She-Bitch after all what happened and the way she treated him? Whenever Ava saw them together, they argued a lot, but it always ended with Stu backing down, apologizing. Melissa emasculated him, even in the presence of his friends, humiliating him...and he just took it. Then, there was the time she saw Melissa beat Stu up. Of course, Ava always stood up to Melissa when she was being mean to Stu. She was not afraid of her. Why didn't Stu stand up to her? Why did he even tolerate her treatment?

"I don't think you should, Stu," she said, earnestly.

Stu was a little irked that Ava, a free-love girl to put it nicely with hardly a moral center for relationships, had the nerve to say such a thing. Sure, he had feelings for Ava, but he couldn't just throw away three years of a relationship because of his possibly drunken series of one-night stands and spur-of-the moment marriage to her.

"Who are you to tell me what to do, Ava?" Stu said, a bit offended.

"I was just giving you my honest opinion, Stu," Ava said.

"Well, who I choose to marry is _my_ choice."

"Like you did to me?" she frowned.

"That was a mistake!" he spat. He regretted it right there.

Ava sucked in her lips, hurt. "Right." She replied, her voice strained. She swallowed. "I'm gonna go for a walk. Would you like something to drink? I saw a convenience store across the street."

"Just bottled water, thanks," he said.

What the fuck was wrong with him?! Why did he say that? Stupid douche bag! Here he was, getting to know his new wife and he fucking blew it by calling their 'marriage' a mistake. Was it a mistake? Maybe he really wanted to marry Ava. They probably would not be compatible anyway...and yet, here she was, talking about stuff she was willing to do for him: from cooking Kosher to doing all crazy stuff in the bedroom.

_Just calm down, Stu!_ He told himself. It was just their first fight. Maybe she'd forgive him. Ava wasn't one to hold a grudge, really...was she?


	7. What the Fk is Going On

_What the F*k is Going on?  
_

Ava held the baby in the sling, carrying four bottles of water, waiting in line at the convenience store. There was a hole in her stomach, her heart twinged a bit, and there were beginnings of tears. Why was she feeling this way? She shouldn't be! This was her friend...who she married! Everything was so fucking confusing. Still, it was better than marrying some stranger. Thank God!

Sure, they talked like they usually did and got to know some things about each other. When Stu said he was going to marry Melissa, she envisioned how miserable he would be. And he was pissed at her because she told him her opinion? Fuck it! If he wanted her advice, he could take it or shove it. Ava cared about him and didn't want Stu to be unhappy. Stu was a sweet man who deserved to be loved. He deserved better than Melissa...better than...

Herself.

Hurtful as it was to hear, that was reality. The marriage was a mistake. A stupid, drunken mistake. They probably would've been terrible spouses since they were two completely different people. Sure, they talked a lot, got along well and had a few things in common. Yet, she couldn't imagine being his wife: Stu was clean and neat, Ava was messy and chaotic. Stu was a well-educated dentist. Ava was a college dropout that worked as a bartender, partied and played roller derby. Everything at his house was neat, expensive, and boring.

Yet, Stu certainly wasn't boring. Dorky, shy, a bit of an uptight pussy at times, yes.

What was with her? She couldn't help but feel strange feelings for him...it was like the time she fell in love with her first boyfriend, Dave Cotis. After him, it was another boyfriend and a few to follow...yet, all of them, cheated, leaving her devastated. She felt there was no point in falling in love anymore. Maybe she kissed enough toads...and found her Prince...or...was he?

Perhaps Stu...could be...if he didn't have Melissa. There was no way he would just leave her. She didn't understand why he was going to marry her anyway. Why would Stu marry such an evil, cheating bitch?

But...why did she feel this way about Stu? She remembered when they kissed at Three Angry Wives...the first time, she was just teasing him. The second time, it was...real. It felt right. She even recalled the connection, chemistry...unable to resist Stu. How passionate he was. How sweet he was. Having sex with him was also...different.

Jesus! What the fuck was going on?!

She walked back to the parking lot, she could see the boys arguing and Stu was having a hissy fit, smashing a mug on the ground...

* * *

Phil and Alan walked out, carrying the boxes. Eddie agreed to give them as much time as they wanted to do the annulment, handing them the paperwork. They found Stu, hands in his hair, flustered and cursing to himself.

"Dude, where's Ava?" asked Phil.

"She went across the street to get some things," Stu said.

"Everything OK, Stu?" asked Alan, seeing Stu really tense like he was about to explode.

"Fine, everything's fine," he said, trying to stay calm.

"Did you talk to Ava?" asked Phil.

"Yea," Stu replied with sarcasm. "And everything is just great! Just FUCKING great! I think we should just torch the cop car with all this shit in it!"

"Torch it?" Phil said, incredulous. "Seriously, who the fuck are you, man?"

"I dunno, Phil," he said. "Apparently, I'm a guy who marries his best friend's sister, who by the way gave me _wonderful _advice on love and life...and has absolutely no idea how I feel about her. This whole situation is completely _fucked!_" In an outburst of rage, he grabbed a mug and threw it on the ground, smashing it. "This mug! This hat!" He ripped the hat off of Alan's head, who yelled 'hey!' and threw it on the ground. "This FUCKING car! It's all evidence of a night that _never _should have happened! That is why we're torching it!"

"Dude, I'm all for secrecy, but I'm not going to torch a fucking cop car!" Phil said. "I have a family. I'm a teacher."

"Well, then, I'll do it!" Stu stated.

"What's going on here?" Ava asked, very confused.

"Well, your husband is having another psychotic panic attack," Phil said, dripping with irony.

This situation was upsetting enough as it is. She had a feeling that Phil would probably poke the sleeping bear. Alan would probably open his big stupid mouth.

"OK," Ava declared. "I would prefer if you didn't call us husband and wife."

"But you guys are," said Alan, stating the obvious.

"ALAN, SHUT UP!" Stu and Ava said.

"I'm going to say this right now and only once. So clean out your ears and pay attention," she began, glaring at Alan. "We are not to speak of this marriage from here on out. So I suggest you refrain from teasing, asking questions, and keep your opinions to yourself about the subject. Also, we are not going to tell anyone about this. Not to Doug. Not to Melissa. No one! What happens with this is between Stu and I. It's nobody's business. All I'm going to say is Stu and I have made a decision, but it's for us to know. We will gladly share it with you when we want to."

"Thank you, Ava!" Stu said, relieved to hear this.

"You're welcome, Stu," she answered. "And if any of you breathe a word about this again, I will personally fuck you up beyond all recognition. Do we agree?'

"OK, psycho," Phil said. "Fine. We won't say anything."

"Good. Now, let's just focus on finding Doug so we can go home," Ava asked. "Did you find anything else out while you were inside?"

Alan and Phil filled her in on the details so far: Eddie told them that the blonde girl in the picture was named Jade; she had signed the marriage license as a witness. She worked in a strip club just next door and was the mother of the baby.

They proceeded to next door. It was seedy looking place with a catwalk stage with poles and lights were dim yellow. Stools at the bar and the stage, small tables and chairs with long legs. Skimpy clad waitresses sashayed throughout the place, a bartender behind the bar, and huge muscled bouncers were in the room.

"Um...excuse me?" Ava asked a passing waitress.

"Are you Cherry Girl?" said the waitress. "Man! You really impressed the boss last night. He wants you to come back and do another show."

"Um...OK. Actually, we're looking for someone who works here. Do you know Jade?"

"Sure, honey. Oh! You have Tyler, her baby! Glad to see he's safe and sound. I could call her and let her know."

"Actually, do you know where she lives by any chance? We'd like to bring him there ourselves."

"I don't, but the boss does. I can take you to him. Right this way."

She led them to the back office; the hallway was dirty and had two bathrooms and a locker room all the way in the back. The waitress knocked on the door to her boss's office. There was a balding, creepy looking guy sitting at a tiny desk.

"Hey! Cherry Girl!" he greeted, his teeth really grey and yellow, smiling lecherously. "Bob McGay. Glad you're here. I'm telling you...you're the talk of the club ever since you did your little act on YouTube."

_Fuck! _Stu thought. He forgot about that. He was praying that Melissa never saw that video.

Then, Mr. McGay looked Ava over with perverted, watery eyes. "I gotta say, Cherry, you're an exotic beauty: dark hair, blue eyes...the guys must go crazy for you. You got a nice body: no stretch marks, no C-section scars...nice and tight! Nice tits and ass, great legs! How you danced, you know how to work it. You should be a dancer and work for me. Do a special show. Get clients up on stage with your little cherry trick."

"Um...sure..." Ava said, uneasy. _Gross._ "Um, sir. We're actually looking for someone named Jade."

"Jade, yea. She was here last night with your gentleman friends."

"Do you remember this guy?" she asked, pulling out her iPhone with a picture of her and Doug.

"Definately. Anyway, Jade left with you for a short while and then came back around to finish her shift."

"Could you give us her address? We'd like to bring her baby back."

"Sure thing, Cherry...if you promise to do another show for me..."

"I'll think about it," she said. "I'll give you a call tonight about my answer."

Mr. McGay gave them the address. The four of them darted out of there very quickly. Ava was ever so glad to get out of there. She wanted to take a shower after being in there. She could feel that creep's breath just all over her skin. Gross!

"You're not seriously going to do that?" Stu said.

"Fuck, no!" Ava said, shuddering. "That guy was a total creep! Let's just get the fuck out of here before he comes after me."

"Agreed." Stu looked over at Ava. "About what I said earlier...I'm sorry for...snapping at you."

Typical Stu! Always apologizing for his actions. It was a bit annoying, but still...at least he admitted his wrongs. She wished he wouldn't do it so much. There were times that he apologized when he didn't do anything wrong. Jesus! He always did it with Melissa. Yet, Stu always seemed to repress his feelings, especially anger. Maybe because of what was happening, his true colors were coming forward...three years of suppressed rage because his girlfriend kept him down.

"Let's just forget about it, Stu," she said. "Things have been pretty crazy."

"Yea," he said, quietly. "I wish this shit would just end."

"Me too. Maybe we'll go back to the hotel and...take a shower...not together, I mean..."

Stu smiled. "No. I...guess I could use one too. It would be...relaxing."

The idea did sound nice after all this craziness, being in the hot Las Vegas sun...filthy from the night before and in the same clothes he woke up in. He probably smelled too. He would like to sleep a bit. Although...Ava...here in Vegas...in the shower with him...hmm...maybe? Would she? Stu felt drawn to Ava...like a magnet to metal, a moth to the flame...he wanted to kiss her, but maybe it wasn't a good time. They had gone through so much. No. He shouldn't. It was awkward enough that they found out they got married. He didn't want to make anything worse.

They approached the cop car when a phone rang and the four of them all jumped, pawing at their pockets.

"Doug!" they all exclaimed.

Surely, Doug was looking for them as well as they were. The ringing was coming from Stu's pocket. Stu looked at his phone and saw the number, groaning. He was probably in deep shit now...Melissa had seen the video.

"It's Melissa," Stu announced.

"Don't answer it!" Phil ordered.

"I have to! She's called twice already!" he snapped through his grit teeth. Then, he pressed the button to answer it, speaking in his normal Stu voice, "Hey, sweetheart, how are you?"

"There you are," said Melissa's voice. "This is the third time I'm trying you...only to have that whore answer the phone." Stu braced himself, ready for a tongue-lashing from her about the video. "Did you fuck her?" she hissed, venomously. "You will not be allowed to come home if you touched that disease-ridden slut!"

OK. She hadn't seen the video...for now...

"No, no! We accidentally switched phones," Stu stammered, searching for an excuse that would be believable. "I had to drive back to Sacramento and get it back from her."

Ava rolled her eyes, exasperated. Always making excuses to avoid confrontation with that evil she-beast.

"So, how was it last night?" asked Melissa.

"Eh...actually it's kind of quiet..." Stu said. "The signal is crazy out here...I think it's from all the sequoia trees..."

"Ugh, I hate that!"

Ava made stupid faces, mocking Melissa on the phone, making Alan and Phil snigger. They climbed into the car.

"I dare you," Phil whispered.

Ava knew what he meant. Aside from the fact Stu was ticklish, she always teased him whenever he was on the phone with the She-Bitch. With a impish smirk, Ava poked him in the ribs and gave him a wet willy. Alan and Phil were sniggering as they watched from the front seat. Then, she caressed his ear with a lock of hair from her bangs, tickling him.

"Would you stop that!" he whispered.

"I'm not doing anything, honey," she giggled, innocently.

"Who was that?" Melissa said, suspiciously.

"No one. Just some tourists near me...on their honeymoon. We're learning all kinds of vino factoids."

"Really? That's nice," Melissa said.

Stu prattled on and on about the fake vineyard and what they were doing, making excuses about the reception. So lame! Suddenly, an orange car parked behind them, blocking their path and two very angry Asian thugs approached them with baseball bats in hand. Phil locked the car doors. Ava had to admit she was scared.

"Let's go! Out of the car!" yelled one of them, banging on the hood.

"Who's that?" Melissa said, suspicious.

"They just started up the tractor," Stu said, fumbling. "I think it backfired."

"WHERE THE FUCK IS HE?!" shouted another one.

"Hey! Hey!" Phil said, holding his hands up. "Take it easy! We're looking for the same guy!"

Soon, one of them smashed the windshield with the bat, making Phil yell loudly. The baby started crying and Ava screamed.

"What the fuck, Stu?! Is that a baby?" Melissa snapped. "Who the fuck screamed?"

"No, no!" Stu said, weakly, trying to find more excuses to cover this up. "We-we're at a winery! It's a goat."

"WHERE IS HE?!" yelled the thug.

"Uh...sir could you start the tractor?" Stu said. "So we could get out of here?"

"I would!" Phil said, sarcastically. "But we're fucking blocked."

Another smashed the windshield. The baby cried louder. Melissa was screaming through the speaker, demanding answers of what was going on.

"FUCK YOU, ASSHOLES!" Ava yelled at the thugs. "LEAVE THEM ALONE! THERE'S A BABY HERE!"

"Bitch, I'll fuck you up!" said one of them. "GET OUT OF THE CAR!"

"Someone just said baby!" Melissa said.

"Yea...it's a baby goat..." Stu fumbled.

_Goddammit! Just hang up the fucking phone!_ Ava wanted to screamed.

Suddenly Eddie came out with a shot gun to scare off the thugs. The Asian thugs brandished their own guns, pointing at the car.

"Phil, he's got a gun!" Alan panicked.

"No shit he's got a gun!" yelled Phil.

In the mingle of all the noise, Ava fumbled through her purse, looking for something to get the thugs away from the car. She found a small can of pepper spray. She shoved Phil out of the way and pressed the button, spraying the closest thug who screamed in pain.

"FUCKING BITCH!" he yelled, twitching and clawing his eyes.

"GO, PHIL!" Ava shouted. "GO!"

Phil shifted the car into drive, running over one of the thug's foot and a shot rang out. Ava leaped onto Stu, screaming and hugging him tightly. Phil stepped on the gas, smashing the other cars and a bus stop, driving out into the boulevard, hearing angry honking from cars behind him. The baby and Ava were both crying. Stu calmed the baby down.

"Hey, hey," Stu said, softly, stroking Ava's hair. "It's OK. It's over now. We're safe." Then he screamed, "What the FUCK is going on?!"

"I don't know!" Phil exclaimed, shaking. "We've got to calm down, Stu, and find out."

Stu's phone rang and saw it was Melissa's number.

"Just let it go to voice mail," Phil said

Stu sarcastically laughed. "No shit, dumb ass! And by the way, that was a fake laugh!"

"No shit, Sherlock!" Phil spat angrily.

"Would you boys shut the FUCK up?" Ava yelled. "We need to stop arguing and find Doug. We're wasting time."

They were quiet the whole car ride, trying to compose themselves over what happened. What exactly was that all about? Who were those thugs talking about? What the fuck was going on? The boys thanked Ava for saving them.

Ava sat quietly in the seat, hugging her knees. She wished Doug was here. He'd know what to do. Doug always looked out for her when they were kids. She wished she could've been a better sister to him. He took her in when she had nowhere else to go. Mom and Dad refused to let her come home after she dropped out of college, insisting that she give up her dream of playing roller derby. They cut off her money and she was forced to get a job as a bartender at one of her teammate's bar. The money was fine, but not enough for her to live on her own. Now that her brother was getting married, she would be homeless again. She felt she couldn't be a burden on Doug by staying there now that Tracy was going to be living there full time.

She promised herself that she would be gone once Doug and Tracy came back from their honeymoon...that is...if there was going to be a wedding...

"Hey," said Stu, seeing how quiet Ava was. "Are you alright?"

"No," she said. "I wish Doug was here. I only lost Doug once...when we were ten. We were at the fall carnival...and we went into the corn maze. Only, I lost him because there were so many people there. I didn't know how to get out...and I was scared without Doug. I waited in there for almost three hours. He found me...it turns out the douche was hiding in the cornfield and was waiting to scare me."

Stu laughed. "Yea...I remember that. I'm sure we'll find him. I know you're worried about him. I want to find him too."

"What do you think he would think of all this...if he were here?"

"Probably how crazy this shit is...we are..."

She nodded quietly. "Fuck...if something happened...that was scary, Stu. I though we were going to die."

"I know...I was scared too...I'm glad you...did that."

"You're welcome," Ava said, her eyes teary.


	8. Two Ladies and Tasers

_Two Ladies and Tasers  
_

They drove to Jade's address, which reminded them of a seedy hotel. They looked at the address on the paper, climbing stairs and looking at doors. Soon, a blonde woman stepped out of the apartment, talking on a cell phone. She was dressed in a skimpy outfit. Once she saw the four of them, her mouth dropped open in a wide surprised O and broke out in a smile. This had to be Jade.

"Oh! You brought Tyler back! Thank you so much! I was freaking out!" she said overly happy and relieved.

"No problem," Ava said, handing the baby to her. "He was in good hands." The baby pawed at Ava's short hair and her necklace, smiling.

She cooed over the baby. "Oh...I missed you, sweetie." Then looked at Ava, "Thank you so much for taking care of him. He certainly likes you."

"Ah, what can I say? I'm good with kids."

"By the way, congrats on your wedding," she said. "And thank you for having me your maid of honor, Ava. I was really honored. You were such a good friend."

"Hey! I'm a friendly girl." She said with a shrug. Though she didn't even know Jade, she figured why not make a new friend. And why not?

"Anyway, what the hell happened to you guys? I went out to get coffee and came back to your hotel, but you were gone."

"Actually, we were hoping you could tell us," said Phil.

"You guys want to come in?" asked Jade. "I gotta feed Tyler."

She invited them inside, which was air-conditioned, thank God! They went to the living room, sitting down. Typical apartment for a stripper: tiny, dingy, a bit messy with baby things scattered about. She poured them some ice tea and handed it to them.

"Listen, I hope I didn't ruin your wedding night," Jade said. "I mean...after what we did that night, I hope I don't make things awkward..."

"What do you mean?" asked Stu, confused.

"You don't remember? Ava and you...and me, Stu."

Stu's realization hit him like an oncoming train...

* * *

_**5:20 AM Caesar's Palace-Stu's Room  
** _

_Two gorgeous girls, hanging off Stu, giggling drunkenly. They teased him with nibbles and licks on his ear! Ooh! Twice the fun! Two girls! A blonde and a brunette! _

_It sort of reminded him of that song "Two Ladies" from **Cabaret** where he played the Emcee in college, which he was embarrassed by. Oh, how Phil and Doug teased him so much after that! Hence his nickname, 'Dr. Faggot' was born. It was ONE time and needed a credit in order to graduate! Plus, all the other classes he wanted to take were full! Drama and Theater had one available opening and he took it. _

_He soon started imagining Ava and Jade, dressed in sexy German dirndls, black thigh high stockings and garters, singing that song in German accents and their hair plaited in braids. If only they were holding frosted beer mugs...that would be perfect! _

_**Und I'm the only man...ja!** He laughed to himself. _

_Ava, Jade and Stu. What a trio! They went to the hotel room, all of them kissing. Ava pushed him down on the bed, her eyes so seductive. _

_"Let me go get into something more...comfy," she said. _

_"OK, don't go away," Stu giggled. _

_"Or...would you prefer...if I did it...right here?" _

_"Yea! Stu would appreciate that! You have such a great body, Ava!" said Jade. "You should've been a dancer. You did a fine job at the club, giving him a lap dance." _

_"Thank you," she said. _

_Ava began to hum the striptease music, sashaying and slinking out of her dress while Stu watched. She turned her back to him so he couldn't see her...goods. How she was such a tease! He watched as the wedding dress that they took from Eddie, was slowly slipped off of Ava's perfect ass, no panties. She was just in a black bra. She swayed her hips back and forth, looking over her shoulder at Stu. Shit!  
_

_"Maybe we should put on a little show for Stuey, Jade," Ava whispered, smirking. "Would you mind doing a little girl-on-girl, Jade?" _

_"Not at all." _

_"Stuey," Ava said. "Would you like me to...kiss Jade?"_

_Stu's eyes lit up with delight. Really?! A live girl show! He couldn't ask for any more. He had two hot girls, right there._

_"Fuck, yes!" he shouted. _

_A__va cupped Jade's face and kissed her. Wow! The girls really got into it. Ava undressed Jade, very slowly, occasionally looking over at Stu. Jade just in her blue bra and thong. Stu was chortling like someone who was watching their first porno. He was hard as steel already just watching them.  
_

_"What do you want me to do Jade, Stu?" __she asked seductively. _

_"Kiss her more...grab those tits...and ass..." he shouted, slurring. _

_**Two ladies...two ladies...und he's the only man, ja!...he likes it...we like it...** _

_Ava obliged. She was so WILD! She kept asking Stu what he wanted, and she obliged, teasing him with this little live show: titty play, fingering and pussy licking! Holy SHIT!_

_"Should we include him?" Ava whispered, her lips just lingering over Jade's. "I think Stu's feeling a bit left out."  
_

_"Are you sure?" Jade whispered. "I'm not going to ruin anything between you guys?" _

_"Come on, Jade!" Ava whispered. "This is EVERY guy's fantasy, Jade. Besides, I think he'd like it. I say why not? Once in a lifetime, right?" _

_"I suppose I could try. I've done this before, just not with women."  
_

_"Trust me, Jade. I know exactly what I'm doing."  
_

_The girls climbed on the bed, making out with each other, touching...it was a hot! Stu just sat there and just enjoyed the show. He froze, unable to move as he watched all this hotness.  
_

_**Two ladies...two ladies...und he's the only man, ja!...he likes it...we like it...** _

_"You want to play with us, Stuey?" Ava simpered coyly. "You can join us." _

_**There's room on the bottom...if you drop in some night...** _

_Really?! With two girls?! A blonde and a brunette! Wow! It was the best live porno dream come true EVER! The girls crawled towards him, his clothes were gone. __Bras were unhooked and panties were pulled down, all tossed away. __It went by in a blur: Ava gave Stu a blowjob while Jade kissed him. Ava and Jade fingering each other while each girl took turns kissing Stu or each other, nibbling his ear or licking his neck. They even gave him a two-handed handy! SHIT! Holy FUCKING SHIT! _

_**We switch partners daily...to play as we please...** _

_Then they took turns fucking him while the girls fucked each other. Two sets of tits and pussies! Blonde and brunette. Moaning. _

_**Twosies beats onesies...but nothing beats three!** _

_A man's fantasy. A dream come true! _

**_Two ladies...two ladies...they like it...I like it...There's two for one! BEEDLE-DEEDLE-DEEDLE-DEE!_ **

* * *

Suddenly, Ava burst into giggles, blushing. Oh! She realized what they had done.

"Wow!" she said, amused and embarrassed. "I...had no idea! I mean...yea, I've had sex with a woman before."

"You did?" Jade said, surprised. "Well, you certainly knew what you were doing, Ava."

"Well, it was a long time ago...when I was in college...I had a lesbian roommate and I wanted to experiment."

"Good to hear that you're comfortable with yourself."

"Anyway, have you seen my brother, Doug?" Ava continued.

"Not since the wedding, that was around one...I was on shift," Jade said, recalling.

She lowered her skimpy top and began breastfeeding Tyler. Stu and Phil looked uncomfortable. Alan just stared dumbly. Ava rolled her eyes at the guys. Seriously! It's like they've NEVER seen tits before. Come on! She'd seen it plenty of times and it didn't bother her at all.

"You suggested that we go back to Stu's room and have a little...three's company..." Jade continued. "You asked my boss at the club if you could borrow me..."

"Yea, Bob McGay...he's such a creep..."

"Yea...I know!"

While the girls kept chatting away, Stu heard nothing else that they were saying because his brain was screaming. He couldn't believe it! He _actually_...OMFG! What the fuck was wrong with him?! What kind of demon was inside him?

Phil and Alan were staring at Stu...then Ava...unable to believe what they had just heard. Phil tried to hold back his laughter. Oh, he was going to rip Stu about this moment for the rest of his life! It would be always know as a classic Stu. Who knows what else he did? The both of them were a little jealous: how is it that Stu was able to have the stamina to do that? He must've been really sex-deprived by Melissa to be able to pull a stunt like that! Damn!

"Stu Price, you are officially my hero!" Phil laughed. "You are a god, man!"

"What just happened?" Alan asked confused.

Phil rolled his eyes. Seriously! Again! He was such a child! Did he not know that Stu had sex with two ladies?

Again, Stu buried his head in his hands. He looked at Ava who was happily chatting with Jade like they were old friends. He fucked Ava three times, married her, then had a threesome with a stripper, possibly a prostitute. What the fuck was happening?! This went against everything that he had in his moral core. And Ava was just laughing it off like it was nothing. What the fuck was wrong with her? Did she have no shame? Didn't she care about what she did?

Stu ran outside, heaving, ready to be sick. He doubled over, holding on the railing...he was going to have a apoplexy. He was sure of it.

"Is he OK?" asked Jade, worried.

"He's just having a panic attack," Ava said. "Guys, go outside and check on Stu. I'll finish up here. And shut the door behind you."

Alan and Phil went outside, catching up to Stu.

"Stu, what's wrong?" asked Alan. "What are you so upset about?"

"What am I upset about?" Stu repeated, pissed. "I had a threesome with Ava AND a stripper! I fucking CHEATED on my girlfriend! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!" his face was red, veins were bulging out of his temples, and his hands were claws, which he ran through his hair.

"Dude, calm down!" Phil said. "So, you did some crazy shit, so what?"

"So what?! This is wrong on every level imaginable! I cannot wait to find out what other crazy shit I did next!" he said sarcastically. "Not to mention, Ava is just laughing this shit off like it's nothing."

"Dude, it's Ava. She doesn't care if you had a threesome with her or if you married her. Did you tell her how you felt at least?"

"I...sort of."

"Dude...really?! What the _FUCK_? Why are you dragging this out, Stu?" Phil sighed.

"OK, thanks for everything!" Ava laughed. "Good meeting you, Jade!" She went to the boys. "She said that she didn't see Doug either at the hotel."

Soon, two policemen ran over and arrested the four of them. What the fuck?! What did they do?! I hoped it had nothing to do with the fact that they were with a prostitute. Of courses, it was legal in Vegas. They were driven in the back of the car, handcuffed and stuffed in the back seat. This day was just getting worse by the minute.

* * *

The four of them got mug-shots, fingerprinted, and then sat in the waiting area, all handcuffed to each other: Phil to Alan, Alan to Ava, Ava to Stu. This was humiliating. They were allowed one phone call. Phil called Tracy, telling her they might stay an extra day in Vegas, promising her they would be home first thing tomorrow morning.

"How can you be so...nonchalant about this?!" Stu said, irritated. "Do you even care?"

"What are you talking about?" Ava said, confused.

"You and Jade were just laughing away at her place like it was nothing."

"It IS nothing, Stu! It was a night of stupid, drunken debauchery."

Stu was offended. "So, did having sex with me mean nothing?"

Ava frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, forget it." Stu lied, feeling a bit hurt.

Ava scoffed, rolling her eyes. Stu's whining and his acting weird was starting to annoy her a bit. What the hell was his problem?! So they had wild crazy sex in Vegas. Big fucking deal.

"So, after we take the mug shots," said a cop, showing a group of kids who were apparently on a field trip. "We bring them over here where they wait to be interviewed by the arresting officer. The kids gawked at them like they were animals in the zoo. "Trust me, kids. You do not want to be sitting on these benches. We call this place Loserville."

The kids giggled as they walked away. A fat blonde kid came up and took a picture of Alan with his cellphone, who kicked out of his hands.

"Alan!" Ava scolded.

Soon, the kid stared at Ava. Then, smiled shyly.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi."

"You're pretty."

Ava smiled. "Thank you."

Then, in a swift move he grabbed Ava's breasts for a moment, giving them a good squeeze. Then, took off. Ava raised an eyebrow, but laughed a little.

"What the hell was that about?" Stu said, confused.

"I dunno," Ava said with a shrug.

"Wenneck, Price, Garner, and Billings," called a cop. "Room 3."

"OK, Trace," said Phil. "We gotta go."

Then hung up the phone.

"Come on, chop-chop, you four!" the cop said hastily.

Alan, Ava and Stu stood up, trying to figure out how to untangle themselves: spinning Alan around, who ended up face to face with Ava. Then, Stu stepped over their arms, clumsily, dragging Ava behind him. Still tangled, Ava found herself smushed between Stu and Phil with Alan in the back, being dragged behind her.

_Every girl's dream..._Ava thought, annoyed. _Smushed between two men...and an ugly one bumping my ass._

Once they were inside the interrogation room, the arresting officers: a chubby black woman named Garden and a tall man with dark hair named Franklin. They were laughing at the chaotic, tangled heap of them.

"Well, well, _well_," said Officer Franklin, smirking. "Look who we have here: if it isn't Cherry Girl...and her little boyfriend as well." He laughed for a moment. He'd seen the YouTube video. The girl was definitely hotter in person.

Ava was embarrassed. Maybe being a celebrity was not such a great thing after all. Officer Garden undid the handcuffs and barked at them to sit down. Officer Franklin held a folder in his hand and looked at them: four pathetic losers, one of them a hot girl and three men: fat Jesus, a pretty boy, and a nerdy dork. _Tourists._ Franklin and Garden thought, shaking their heads.

"Gentlemen and lady," said Officer Franklin. "Got some good news...and some bad news. Good news is we found your Mercedes. It's over at impound right now.

The four of them heaved sighs of relief with a mingle of 'that's great'.

"We picked it up at 5 AM this morning," Franklin continued. "Parked in the middle of Las Vegas Boulevard."

The four of them looked confused and then, embarrassed. The answer was pretty obvious of how it ended up there last night.

"Yea...that is pretty weird. We also found a note." He picked up a napkin and read it: "It says: _Couldn't find a meter. Here's four bucks."_

Ava sucked in her lips, trying not to laugh. Though this was a far from a funny situation, Ava did everything to stay composed.

"The bad news is we can't get you in front of a judge until Monday morning," Franklin continued.

They looked at each other with wide eyes. What?! They couldn't wait all weekend! Doug's wedding was tomorrow!

"Officer," said Phil. "That's not possible. We need to be in LA tomorrow for a wedding."

"You stole a police car," stated Officer Garden.

"We didn't...steal anything," Stu said, trying to explain their actions. "We found it."

"Yea," said Alan. "If anything we should be given a trophy."

Ava rolled her eyes. She wanted to smack Alan upside the head. This was serious. It didn't matter if they were drunk or not, they committed a serious crime.

"I see assholes like you everyday," said Franklin, staring at the four of them.

"Every FUCKIN' day!" spat Garden.

"Let's all go to Vegas, all get drunk..." Then started whooping mockingly with Garden. "Let's steal a cop car. 'Cause it would be really fucking funny."

They were absolutely mortified. They had acted just like that last night.

"You think you're gonna get away with it? Not up in here!" Garden spat acidly.

"NOT up in here!" Franklin yelled, making them jump.

This was really bad. There was no way to get out of this situation. They were going to prison for grand theft auto and joyriding. Ava thought about all the times she had gotten in trouble with the police...and how easy it was. She had to try something...it was better than nothing.

"Um...officers," Ava began in a sweet voice. "If my intuition is correct, then the squad car we stole had to belong to one of you."

Officer Franklin stared Ava. "Yea," he said quietly with coldness.

"All we can say is...we're really, really sorry," she continued, making those sad eyes that could melt the coldest heart. "Yet, I know an apology is useless, and it's no excuse for what we did since it was a grave offense...but haven't we all done stupid things when we were drunk?"

Franklin cocked an eyebrow. Was this girl for real? She had a point and he was intrigued about what she had to say.

"What are you getting at?" Franklin asked, suspicious.

"Yea, what _are_ you getting at?" Stu asked.

"I'm not getting at anything," Ava continued innocently. Her sapphire eyes glittering, she fluttered her eyelashes a bit. "I mean...no one wants to look bad, right? I'm sure you'd rather do other things than waste time dealing with four tourists who acted like drunk idiotic teenagers, doing all that boring paperwork on us..."

Knowing she got Franklin's attention, Ava began to play with a button on her shirt.

"Surely there...must be something..." Ava discretely popped a button, just enough to tease Officer Franklin. "We could..." she continued in a sexy, innocent voice. "Work something out for our little...oopsie?"

Franklin stared at the opened button on her shirt, gazing at Ava's chest. He'd seen this act before...but this girl was hot! Her shirt just a few buttons away from being popped open. He got off getting a free show.

Ava carefully watched Franklin's response...oh yes! He was staring. She could read men like a book. Deciding to up the ante...popped another...just letting him get a glimpse of the top of her bra and soft curves in the shadow...no need to convince him any further...he looked at Garden to see what she thought. She smirked with him, pushing a paper towards him, pointing to something.

"Well, for a pretty girl like you, Cherry Girl," he flirted, leaning in with a wicked smirk. "I'm sure we could...if you'd be willing to...do something for me..."

Ava raised her eyebrows with a smile. "Oh? Bad boy cop like you..." she said coquettishly. "I'm sure I could think of something you'd like. Maybe...a nice little...pat down...strip search..."

He chuckled. "I prefer cavity search."

"Ooh!" Ava giggled, blushing. "Officer Franklin likes it that way. You can examine my cavity as long as you want...I'm sure you're _very_ skilled in that department."

Franklin liked this girl already. She teased him with her gorgeous tits and was skilled with a silver tongue of persuasion, using double-entendres. Phil was trying to hold in his laughter, Alan stared dumbly...Stu was incredulous...then, felt that strange feeling he hadn't felt before...what was it? He frowned a bit, seeing Ava flirting with the cop.

"What are you doing?!" Stu hissed. Ava elbowed him.

"Well, Cherry Girl," said Franklin. "I think we can agree to something...if your gentlemen friends will as well..."

"Ask them," she said.

"We'll do it," said Phil. "Whatever you have in mind."

"Very well. Just one question: do any of you gentlemen have any heart conditions?"

The boys looked at each other. What kind of a question was that? What did Ava get them into? They shook their heads with a few scattered nos.

"Very well. Garden, take the boys outside. I need to speak with the lady in private."

She led them outside, Ava sat in the interrogation room. She braced herself, ready for whatever Officer Franklin wanted: a free pat-down, cavity search...just anything. He smirked at Ava.

"Well, what would you like to do?" she said, coyly.

"Actually," said Franklin. "I was wondering...if you know how to use pepper spray."

"Certainly," she said. "Why?"

Officer Franklin shrugged. "No reason. Just asking." Then smirked again. "Now, how about that free show? Something to seal our deal...and to get me through the day."

Ava just pulled the drawstring on her bikini top without any word, smiling...

* * *

A few minutes later, Ava came out, buttoning up her shirt. The boys looked at her. Garden led them away from the interrogation room.

"What were you doing in there?" asked Stu, suspicious. "Did you sleep with him?"

"No!" Ava exclaimed honestly. "Just gave him a free show."

Jesus Christ! Ava and her magical fairy tits! Just pop 'em out and any guy in the world can fall under their spell.

"Do you honestly have to flirt with every guy you run into?" Stu said irritated.

"What are you talking about?" She looked at Stu and saw that glint in his eye...something she was very familiar with she had seen in some of the men she dated. Stu Price was...could it be?

"Are you...jealous? You're jealous!" She laughed.

"No, I'm not!" he insisted; he was actually. "I'm embarrassed that you lack self-control."

"Oh, self-control?!" Ava said sarcastically. "I wouldn't be talking, Stu. You certainly didn't have any of that last night when you were sticking your dick in holes...aside from the fact you're already controlled by a bitch who's got you on a tight leash."

"Maybe _you're_ the bitch who needs to be on a leash!" Stu snapped.

"Excuse me?" Ava said sharply, hands on her hips.

"Nothing," he said, a bit humiliated.

What was Stu's problem? He'd been acting really fucking weird. He was snapping at Ava and starting arguments with her. Ava understood that he was already upset that he had cheated...then found out they had gotten married...and now, this bullshit. Maybe all those years of suppressing those feelings towards Melissa were coming forth...all that rage and hurt that he had put up with...still, he had no right to speak to her like that. She was starting to see a really ugly side to Stu...and she didn't like it very much.

"I hope you didn't say what I thought you said," Ava said, her eyes narrowed. "You should know that I don't like men who act like that."

Stu said nothing. It would probably be best to shut up. He wished he hadn't said anything. Seriously, why was he snapping at Ava? Hardly any of this was her fault...she had the patience of a saint and was being understanding. This was his friend and he was acting like a real asshole, treating Ava like shit. What the hell was wrong with him?!

They went into a classroom full of children that were on the tour earlier in the waiting area.

"Hey, it's Cherry Girl!" shouted one of them. "And the guy she was with!"

Ava waved, a bit embarrassed. There were excited hisses and whispers like wildfire, some said how cool she was with her bending backwards trick and asked if she could show them. Some took pictures with their phones.

"OK, kids," announced Officer Franklin. "You're in for a real treat today. These three gentlemen have kindly volunteered to demonstrate how a stun gun is used to subdue a suspect."

There were scattered oohs by the kids. The boys looked at each other and then Ava and the cop. What did they get themselves into? Ava shrugged, just as shocked and surprised as her friends. She had no idea this was what they agreed to do. A free titty show for shock therapy?! Shit! This was a bad agreement.

"And this pretty lady, who I'm sure you know as Cherry Girl," Franklin said, gesturing to Ava. "Will play a victim...and demonstrate how to use these things along with pepper spray."

More oohs. Ava didn't like this too much, but oh well. Too late now.

"Now, there's two ways to use a stun gun," Franklin announced, picking up the taser. "Up close and personal...good for taking down a rapist." He handed it to Ava, then whispered how to use it. "Go ahead."

Ava looked at the guys, feeling really sorry for them that they had to go through all this pain and humiliation. She was unsure of who to pick.

"Come on, Cherry," Franklin said. "This pervert is ripping off your panties by now..." He gestured to Stu.

"Dude, come on!" Ava whispered; she didn't think that was appropriate for kids to know about that subject. "These are kids..."

"Hey, we made a deal, Cherry Girl," Franklin whispered. "I can throw you all in jail right now."

_Fuck! _Ava thought. _What an asshole!_ Still, no point in arguing with a cop. He had the power now. She made a deal with the devil. Yet, they might as well deal with it: the more cooperative they were with the police, the faster they could get out of here and find Doug...fuck the pain and humiliation.

"Sorry, Stu," she apologized.

She pulled the trigger and pressed the sparking electrodes into his neck, making him scream like a girl. He collapsed on the floor, squirming in pain. The whole room burst into laughter from all the kids and cops. Ava grimaced as she looked at Stu lying at her feet, clutching his neck. Though it was funny hearing him scream, just seeing him like this made her feel terrible.

"What the fuck!" exclaimed Phil in shock.

"Or...you can shoot from a distance," Franklin continued, loading a cartridge into the stun gun. "Any volunteers? Who wants to go up and do some shooting?"

The whole room shot up with excited, tiny hands with a mingle of oohs me! along with a bald cop in the corner. Officer Franklin looked at the kids...

"Alright, how 'bout you, young lady?" He pointed to an Asian girl with pigtails. She skipped up to the front.

"Let's go, handsome," Franklin said beckoning lazily. Alan stepped forward. "Not _you_, fat Jesus! Slide it on back." He said to Alan. Then, pointed to Phil, "You! Pretty boy." Phil stepped forward with reluctance.

Officer Franklin handed the girl the stun gun.

"OK, it's real simple," he said to her. "All you have to do is aim and shoot."

The girl pointed the taser at Phil; an infrared dot shined on his chest. Phil held up his hands, which trembled with fear.

"You don't really want to do this," he said, trying to stay calm...hoping to get out of this.

"You can do this," Franklin encouraged. "Just focus."

"Don't listen to this maniac," Phil interjected. "Let's just..."

"FINISH HIM!"

The infrared dot went down south of his belt and then, the girl pulled the trigger...there was a soft pop and twin silver wires sprung forward like snakes and the probes pierced Phil's groin; the ZZZT sound of electric as it coursed through his entire body, making him convulse, his eyes bulge out and groan in pain. He collapsed to his knees on the floor then fell down. Ava covered her mouth in a mixture of horror and amusement. It wasn't funny...but still...

"OHOHO!" laughed Franklin. "Right in the nuts! That was beautiful! Well done, let's give her a hand!"

The entire room burst out with more laughter from the kids and then applause. Ava and Alan reluctantly gave an applause as well.

"OK, we got one more charge left," Franklin said, removing the used charge. "Who wants to go?" More hands shot up and he scanned the room, selecting the fat blonde kid that Alan had kicked the phone out of his hands earlier. "How 'bout you, big man? C'mon up here."

The fat kid stared with this evil look in his eye, staring at Alan. Franklin handed him the stun gun and the kid pointed it at Alan's fat stomach.

"There you go," said Franklin. "That's the stuff. I like the intensity...eye of the tiger, this one. You're holding 50,000 volts, little man."

Ava watched in horror as the red infrared dot slowly moved up towards Alan's forehead like a third eye. There was another pop...the silver snakes blasted out and the two fangs of the probes pierced Alan right in the face! OMFG! Alan froze up, paralyzed, crying in pain...

"IN THE FACE!" yelled Franklin with sadistic glee. "_IN THE FACE_!"

He laughed along with Garden. The kids didn't find this funny anymore...some started screaming. Alan stumbled back and forth like a zombie.

"He's still up," Franklin said. "Take him down, Cherry Girl." He tossed her a can of pepper spray.

"Um..." Ava said, unsure.

"Come on. This perv is going to rape you. You just gonna stand there and let him do that to you?"

Ava stared apologetic at Alan and blasted him in the face with pepper spray, hearing him scream and claw his eyes. She felt sick and filled with so much guilt as she was forced to go along with this torture towards her so-called husband, her friend, and future-brother-in-law.

"He's still up!" Then, Franklin used the stun gun to finish him off. "Some of these big boys need an extra charge to take them down." Then, changing the environment. "Alright, who wants to get their fingerprints done?" The kids shot up out of their chairs in excitement and exited the room.

What the hell had Ava done? She stared at the boys, who laid at her feet twitching in pain...and it was all her fault! Stupid cop! Showing her tits to him only to get her three friends hurt.


	9. Ugly Truths

_Ugly Truths  
_

The boys went to the impound to pick up the car. They were sore and miserable from being tasered and sprayed, but it was better than jail. They weren't mad at her. She had saved their asses from being thrown in jail, as painful as it was to admit. Also, thanks to Ava for charming Officer Franklin, the charges were dropped and they could get their car back.

"Guys," she said, remorsefully. "I am so sorry. I had _no_ idea this would happen. It must've really sucked."

"Oh, it's OK, Ava," Alan said, pressing a cold paper towel to his red eyes. "You're my sister. I'm sure we'll be doing a lot of stupid shit once we're officially family."

Ava smiled. Even though he was dumb, Alan could be really sweet. All this time she hardly got to know her future brother-in-law, thinking he was this idiot who was socially inept only to realize maybe he wasn't so bad.

"You did what you had to, Avers," said Phil. "Better than going to jail. Thanks to you."

Stu couldn't take it anymore. All the frustration, pain, and humiliation that he had discovered ever since this stupid trip was starting to get to him.

"Fuck this!" he yelled angrily. "I'm telling everyone we stole a cop car!"

"They let us go! Who the fuck cares?" Ava said, trying to stay calm.

"I care! You can't just tase and spray people like that because you think it's funny! That's police brutality."

"Actually, you screaming like a girl was...a little funny, Stu," Ava said, trying not to laugh. Phil and Alan sniggered in agreement. "I'm sure we'll be laughing about this shit later on."

"Jesus Christ, Ava!" he screamed, angry and frustrated. "Must you treat everything like a joke?"

"Well, excuse me for trying to lighten the situation with humor. Besides, would you rather spend the weekend getting ass-raped in a crowded cell with a bunch of thugs? I don't think so."

"Honestly, Ava, do you even think about consequences of your actions?"

"A simple thank you would've been nice, Stu!"

Truth be told, even if he was her friend, she was starting to get tired of his bitching and moaning. Not to mention, he was so ungrateful.

"Yes. Thank you..." he said, sarcastically. "For using your slut magic by giving the arresting officer a free peep show at your enchanting fairy tits. And because of your impulsive reckless choice, we ended up getting a free shock therapy session for the amusement of a group of kids."

"OK, first off, I do _NOT_ have fairy tits! They're not _that_ small!" Ava said with sarcasm. "And secondly, Stu, you're being very ungrateful. And third, I _said_ I was sorry! How many times do I have to say it?!"

Stu threw his hands up in the air, grunting in frustration. He sighed, trying to calm himself down.

"Look, what can I do to make it up to you, Stu?" Ava said. "How about I buy you a soda so you can put it on your burns?"

"Yea, sure," he said, strained.

They walked around the corner to the soda machine. The silence between them was really intense. Ava had never seen Stu so angry in his life...well, she didn't blame him since he kept his feelings inside. Obviously, Melissa didn't allow him to express his feelings or opinions. It must be very frustrating to be forced to agree with everything she said. She just had to be understanding and patient.

Ava felt the guilt swelling up. Just seeing Stu lying on the ground, groaning in pain after she tasered him. She took the soda out of the machine and looked at the black twin dots on Stu's neck. She pressed the cold soda to the sore flesh, making him winced a bit. Yet, just that single touch and look of concern in her eyes, it made him feel like he was wanted for once.

"Thank you," he said, nearly quiet.

Stu felt so terrible for being mean to Ava. Sure, she was reckless and impulsive, but it beat being in jail for the weekend with a screaming Melissa demanding answers about what he had done.

"I'm...sorry," he apologized.

Jesus! Every second he said he was sorry. His constant apologizing was starting to annoy and bore Ava. If she heard another apology, she was going to knock another tooth out of Stu's mouth.

"It's OK, Stu," she said, swallowing her frustration. "Let's go get the car. Let's just hope that it's not FUBAR-ed."

Stu couldn't help but laugh a little. He hadn't laughed in the longest time. He couldn't remember the last time Melissa laughed with him. Maybe she never did.

They returned to waited at the impound where Phil and Alan were still waiting.

"Alan?" Ava said, seeing his head down. "Are you OK?"

"I'm just worried about Doug," he said quietly. "Why hasn't he called? Do you think something happened to him?"

Ava sucked in her lips. She felt tears coming up. She couldn't stop thinking about her big brother as well. She never lost Doug. She felt a bit responsible for losing him.

"I hope not," she said, her voice nearly breaking.

"It's OK, Avers," said Phil. "We'll find your big brother."

"Yea, I'm sure Doug's worried about you too," said Stu. "We'll search the car for clues and everything will be OK."

Ava nodded, wiping the beginnings of tears away, trying to compose herself. She couldn't panic and break down. She had to stay focused.

They saw what looked like the hood of the Mercedes driving towards them, trembling with fear, wondering what misfortune befell upon Sid Garner's classic Mercedes. Once it was pulled up, they all heaved sighs of relief to find the car had not a dent or a flaw in it.

* * *

Soon, they drove down the boulevard. Stu and Phil sat in the front while Alan and Ava sat in the back. They looked around for any clues for what happened.

"Anything?" asked Phil.

"Mm..." Stu said, looking on the floor of the front seat. "I got a cigar..."

"Here's some black shoes," Alan said. "This has to be yours, Ava."

"Uh...that's not mine," she said, looking at them. "I'm a size 9. These are a men's size 6."

"That's weird," said Phil.

"Yea. Who would have such tiny feet?"

"Here's some panties," Stu said, holding them between his pinched fingers.

Ava blushed, recognizing it. It was red string bikini panties that had been practically ripped to shreds.

"That...that's mine," she admitted embarrassed.

"Jesus, Ava," sighed Stu. "How many pairs of underwear do you have?"

"I keep one with me as a back-up."

"What's this? A snakeskin?" Alan said dumbly, holding up a used condom and dropping it on Stu's shoulder.

"Aw, come on...EWWW!" Stu shrieked, recoiling in disgust.

Ava burst into cackles of laughter hearing Stu scream like a girl, squirming as it landed on his lap.

"That's a used condom, Alan!" yelled Phil. "Get it out of the car!"

"Oh God! Blech!" exclaimed Stu. "Gross! It's wet!"

He threw it at Alan, which nailed him in the face. Alan dropped it on Ava, laughing. It turned into a game of hot potato and the car was filled with shouting and laughing: tossing the wet reservoir around.

"I don't want the thing!" Alan exclaimed.

"FUCK, Alan! Don't get Stu's jizz on me!" she shrieked in disgust.

"Oh, like you didn't get plenty of it last night," Phil laughed. She threw it at Phil and it landed on his shoulder, making him recoil and swerve the car. "Shit, Ava!" Phil cried in disgust. "Jesus Christ! I got your pussy juice and Stu's jizz on me!"

"Oh, how do you even know that's mine?!" Stu said.

"Oh puh-lease, Stu!" she said, rolling her eyes. "We've fucked three times already! Why else would my underwear and a used condom be in here?"

"You are such a slut, Ava!" he laughed.

"Look who's talking!" she joined in.

Their stupid argument at the police station was long forgotten as the two of them started laughing again. Phil pulled the car over on the dirt road, pawing at the condom in disgust and flinging it out the window. He stopped the car, pissed that his friends were acting like teenagers...

"Alright, what the fuck, man?! We gotta get this shit together, guys!" Phil yelled.

They heard a noise inside the trunk...the four of them froze up.

"What was that?" Ava said, scared.

"It's in the trunk," Stu said.

There had to be only one person...it had to...

"DOUG!" they all shouted. "Doug's in the trunk!"

"HANG ON, BIG BROTHER!" Ava shouted. "We're coming!"

There was a mingle of 'holy shits' and shouting as they climbed out of the car, slipping on the dusty ground. Phil fumbling with the keys to open the trunk. They were shaking with anticipation, hoping that Doug was alright. Ava saw that to their surprise...

...a tiny, naked Asian guy leapt out of the trunk and leaped onto Phil's shoulders, beating him with the tire iron. In the midst of the confusion, Stu, Alan, and Ava shouted at him to get off. He smacked Stu in the ribs and over the head. Then smacked Phil in the jaw. Shit! Alan leaped in front of Ava, fiercely protecting her. The Asian man smacked Alan in the face with the tire iron.

"GET AWAY FROM MY FRIENDS!" she yelled.

"You gonna fuck on me?" said the Asian.

"Yea. I'll fuck on you, douche bag!" she threatened. "No one fucks with my friends!"

He struck Ava in the ribs...she groaned painfully. FUCK! It really hurt, even though she was used to being hit by rival teammates. He got her leg as well...she fumbled at her pockets and pulled out her pepper spray and blasted him.

"BITCH! FUCKING BITCH!" he screamed, clawing his spicy eyes. He took off running, blindly waving his hands all over the place.

"What the fuck was that?!" Phil groaned painfully.

"I have internal bleeding," Stu moaned, crawling towards the car. "Call 911."

"That was some fucked up shit," Ava said, panting and clutching her ribs and limping towards the guys.

"Who was that guy?! He was so mean!" Phil added, pulling himself up. He spit out a tooth in bloody drool.

"No shit," Ava said.

"Where did he go?" asked Alan. "What was all that screaming?"

"I scared him off...with my pepper spray."

"Jesus Christ!" yelled Stu. "What is with you and all the pepper spray, Ava?!"

"Hey, I was scared as much as you were. What was I supposed to do?!"

"GOD! Ava, you are such a...like, do you have any self-control? Jesus!"

Ava ignored him. He was starting to piss her off.

"Guys, there's something I need to tell you," said Alan, breaking the silence. "When we were on the roof, I slipped something in the Jagermeister..."

"What?" Ava said incredulous. "What are you talking about, Al?"

"I'm sorry, guys," he said, sounding very remorseful. "I fudged up..."

"You...drugged us?!" Stu said, unable to believe what he was hearing.

"No...I didn't drug you..." Alan said, his voice becoming higher. "I was told it was ecstasy."

"Who told you it was ecstasy?" asked Phil.

"The guy I bought it from the liquor store."

"Why would you give us ecstasy?" Stu asked.

"I wanted you guys to have a good time. I knew you guys wouldn't take it...it was just one hit each. I used to do three hits a night."

"But it wasn't ecstasy, Alan!" Stu spat. "It was Roofies!"

"You think I knew that, Stu? The guy I bought it from seemed like a real straight shooter..."

Ava thought about this for a moment. OK...so Alan was responsible for drugging them, which was a good thing...she guessed...kind of sucked that he would do such a thing. At least it wasn't some stranger. But did...?

"Wait a minute...wait a minute..." Ava said, unable to believe what she was hearing. "Did you slip something into _my_ drink, Al?"

He stared at his future sister-in-law, full of remorse. Ava was the female wolf in his pack, the coolest girl and he promised to protect her...and he betrayed her trust. He was already being a bad brother to Ava. He was a douche bag asshole to her.

"Well?" Ava asked. "Did you?"

"I...yes, Ava. I did it while you were dancing with Phil at Three Angry Wives..." he admitted.

Ava blanched for a moment...then felt anger, betrayal...she couldn't speak...she was going to be sick...

"Fuck, Alan!" screamed Ava. "How...**DARE** YOU! What the hell is wrong with you?! You don't just do shit like that! That's sick!"

"I'm sorry, Ava..." he said, sadly.

"So you're telling us that the guy you bought it from was not a good guy?!" Stu exclaimed.

"OK, Stu, you need to calm down," said Phil.

"You fucking calm down!" he spat back. "He drugged us!"

Ava had enough of this fighting. It was pissing her off. They haven't found Doug, whom now she was scared that he might be dead somewhere...the boys were giving her a headache.

"Stop it! right now!" shrieked Ava. "All of you! Every piece of this is our bullshit, OK? You're all tearing at each other's throats...yet none of this is making any progress in finding Doug!"

Ava was absolutely disgusted. All of these men were acting like immature children...and here she was playing Mommy. She looked at each of them, speaking sternly:

"Alan: you should be ashamed of yourself. I'm absolutely disgusted with you. Phil: you need to grow up, be more responsible and stop acting like an immature college party boy. And Stu: you're need to stop being mean to everyone. You're being a real asshole!"

"Oh, _I'm_ an asshole?!" he exclaimed angry. "This fucking moron drugged us!" He pointed spitefully at Alan. "I lost a tooth. I cheated on my girlfriend...four times already with you, including having a threesome with a whore. I married you. Subjected to police brutality in front of a group of kids and cops...because of YOU. And I was just beaten by a crazy Asian man!"

"Don't talk to Ava like that!" Alan said, defensive and petulant.

"Alan, shut the fuck up!"

"That's it!" Ava said, fed up. "You and I need to talk, Stu. Man to woman..."_  
_

She dragged him a few paces away by the arm. The two of them walked a few paces away and stood in the middle of the abandoned lot, screaming red faced at each other like an old married couple. Alan and Phil watched a bit, trying to ignore what they were saying. Wow!

"OK, you listen to me, Stuart Price," Ava began sternly. "I understand you're angry and this shit is messed up. But, spouting off and insulting everyone. You're getting out of hand."

"_I'M_ out of hand?!" Stu spat. "I'd say _you're_ the one that's out of hand! You are so fucking impulsive, Ava! You're just as bad as Alan."

"How the fuck am I like Alan?!" Ava replied, insulted. "I didn't slip drugs in our drinks!"

"No, you're right!" he replied sarcastically. "You didn't. But you're just as reckless as he is! Let's see: you kissed me at the bar, gave me a lap dance in your underwear which is all over the FUCKING Internet now, your stupid outburst with the doctor at the hospital, attacking two strangers with pepper spray who we don't know are going to come back at us, the free titty show you gave the arresting officer...and the big one: telling my girlfriend that we fucked! Do you realize that what I have done is wrong on every level? Melissa is going to tear me a new asshole now because of your impulsiveness."

"Oh my FUCKING GOD, Stu!" Ava yelled, exasperated. "Do you think of NOTHING else but that bitch?! Why the fuck do you care what she thinks?"

"Well, I'm sorry I have a moral center when it comes to relationships and not fucking everything that moves, Little Miss Hippie Free Love."

Ava scoffed. "Well, _I'm _sorry I like to fuck warm living people unlike you who would rather fuck a corpse...who not only cheated on you, but is actually disgusted by the fact that you have a cock!"

"What?! HOW DARE YOU!" Stu's face turned red, the veins were bulging out of his temples, spraying spit.

"Don't give me that bullshit! I've heard you complaining about it to the guys so many times! It's the same old song, Stu!" She rolled her eyes in exasperation. Then spoke in a mocking Stu voice: "'Melissa doesn't like fucking...wah, Melissa didn't let that guy come inside her. Melissa and I haven't fucked for a year. Wah wah wah!'"

"I don't sound like that! And Melissa _does _like fucking. She just doesn't like semen."

Ava was so sick of hearing Stu make excuses for Melissa. Why should he? What he did seemed perfectly justifiable.

"That's fucking bullshit! And by the way," Ava added. "What you have done so far, I thought you were fucking awesome. I mean, that is so unlike you! I mean, who knows how many times we did it, I don't really care. I liked that you showed your true colors for once...even if you were drunk as fuck. You know what? I think you care WAY too much what other people think. You are so embarrassed to let yourself go because you're afraid of what people, like Melissa, think about you. Well be yourself once! I'm glad you're angry...and showing your feelings...keeping that shit up inside is bad. But you're taking it out on the wrong people...the real person you _should_ be taking it out on is Melissa. She's a bitch and you know it! She's never been nice to you!"

"Don't talk about her that way!" he said.

"I'll talk about her any way I want, Stu!" she spat back. "That bitch has done nothing but make you miserable...and you just take it. Seriously, you're a fucking doormat!"

"I'm a doormat?!"

"Yea. You're a doormat, doormat! Doormat! DOORMAT!"

"No, you're right, I am!" he admitted, defeated.

"GODDAMMIT, STU!" she shrieked. "STOP APOLOGIZING! You really are a fucking pussy."

"Excuse me?"

"Yea. You are! You apologize for the most tiny and insignificant things. It's so fucking stupid!"

He was shaking so hard; the two of them faced each other. Ava's face was red and she was sweating and shaking; her dark pixie hair was sticking to her face. She was nearly exhausted after this argument. Shit! Stu lowered his head, wetting his lips in frustration.

"Well, let me ask you this, Ava: why did you have sex with me?" Stu began finally.

"Why do you want to know? It was just sex! Who cares?"

"Because I want to know why! Would it kill you to close your legs for five minutes and talk to me?"

"You want to know? Fine!" Ava spat angrily. "Because I wanted you! I could've fucked any guy at the bar that night, but I didn't because I wanted you. I thought that because Melissa cheated on you, you'd want to even the score here in Sin City. I wanted to see if you would turn me down. I know for a fact that any man in a loving, committed relationship who was drunk off their ass would've turned me down. You could've said no, but you didn't. After that, it was all you!"

"One last question: did having sex with me mean anything to you?"

"Why? Was it supposed to?" she said, uncomfortable.

Stu couldn't answer. His heart was shattering. He nodded. The answer was obvious. "Right. I guess that makes me the stupid asshole."

"I _never_ said that."

"You didn't have to."

"Stu, you're putting me in a very awkward position asking me that question. I don't...know anything right now. I'm still trying to process what's happened so far."

"Well, you could've avoided that by not opening your legs and letting me fuck you."

"Well, maybe you _did_ want to fuck me, Stu! Maybe somewhere in your deep subconscious, you wanted to fuck me! You just never had the balls to admit it." She jabbed her finger into his chest.

"What?!"

"Don't play dumb with me! You think I'm stupid? I know you're always checking me out: like when I bend over and tie my shoe. That time at the beach when a wave knocked you over on top of me and you had BOTH of your hands on my tits. When I changed right in front of you in the Mercedes. Even at the hotel, you were clearly looking at my breasts when I took my shirt off. You looked like you were having a stroke."

"No, I wasn't!" he denied, flushed.

"Bullshit! Admit it, Stu!"

"FINE! I want to _fuck_ you, Ava Billings!" he spat. "I want to bend you over that Mercedes, spank your glorious ass, and fuck you! Are you happy now?"

Ava sighed. Sure, he admitted it...yet it sounded forced.

"You know what? Once this fucking trip is over, we're going to forget this shit happened. You are going to go on with your life. You will marry Melissa and be fucking miserable all your life. But, in my opinion, you should think twice before you make the wrong decision. I think you should do what would makes you happy, Stu. I think that marrying Melissa is a huge mistake."

"Why the fuck should you care, Ava? You obviously don't. I'm not like you. I happen to have feelings. I'm not just some giant cock you can just fuck and walk away."

"Oh, and you think I'm a giant vagina on legs that doesn't have feelings either? You're wrong!"

"God! Do you even know what love is at all?" He sighed. "I can't believe...I don't know why I even loved you in the first place."

Ava looked confused, furrowing her brows. Did she hear what she thought she just heard? Was it the Vegas desert heat?

"What?"

"Nothing," Stu said, lowering his head. "Forget I said anything."

"Did you just say you loved me?"

"Yes I fucking did!" he shouted. "And not just like a friend. More than that! I have loved you ever since we first met. I wanted to ask you out for the longest time..."

"Then, why the fuck didn't you just ask me out?" she spat.

"Because...I didn't think someone so FUCKING beautiful and hot would want to date a loser like me."

"Well, if you did, I would've said yes, Stu. I'm not shallow." Ava swallowed. She paused for a moment. "I don't see how this could work anyway, Stu. You're too much of a pussy."

"And you are an immature, reckless little c*&t!"

The shock of hearing that word...it was only a few seconds...everything was dead silent. Stu was shocked at himself that he said that.

If there was one word Ava hated being called, it was that word. All the swear words in the alphabet, that was one she wouldn't use nor did she like. And her friend had called her that despicable name!

Ava drew back her arm and slapped Stu hard in the face, knocking him to the ground. Though she was smaller than Stu, she was very strong. Her whole arm went into it; the hand was rough and calloused from all that roller derby play. The slap sounded like a leather belt, echoing through the empty lot, leaving a red hand print on Stu's cheek. It stung for a moment, then it throbbed and burned, bring tears to Stu's eyes. She really nailed him.

He regretted everything he said. Ava stood there, tears in her eyes with a pissed off expression.

"I'm sorry I let you fuck me, Stu," she hissed. "You really are an asshole!"

Ava took off running and he heard the car door slam. Stu picked himself up painfully and walked back towards the car. Phil and Alan grimaced for a moment at the red hand print on Stu's face. They heard what he had called her. While they were against a girl beating up a guy, they didn't feel sorry for him at all. Stu got what he deserved.

"How dare you!" Alan yelled. "Ava's been nothing but a sweetheart to you, Stu, and you treated her like crap."

"What the fuck is wrong with you, man?!" Phil said, disgusted. "I can't believe you! Of all people..." He shook his head.

Stu swallowed, seeing Ava's shape curled up in the car. He felt nothing but remorse for what he did. He was so mean to Ava...he was an asshole. He couldn't believe he called her that terrible, disgusting, degrading name. A word he never dared to use. He was exhausted from arguing, the beating...he was completely broken. He wanted to sink into a hole, curl up and die. What had he done? He hurt his best friend so much. He didn't think Ava would forgive him this time.

"Dude, you need to fix this," Phil said. "You need to fix this. You don't want to lose a friend like Ava."

"What am I supposed to do?" he hissed.

"Well, you better figure it out. Ava doesn't forgive very easy...especially when you call her that. You fucked this up really bad, man! Ava cares about you. And you just spit in her face."

He had to figure out what to do about his stupid mistake. How was he supposed to make it up? What he did was beyond an apology. He didn't want to lose Ava...he needed her. She was the only one who stood up for him...who cared about him...she listened, she made him laugh and smile...she talked to him. To not have her as a friend would just kill him.

"Guys," said Alan suddenly. "I have another confession."

"Is this really the time?" Phil said.

"I think you should know. Stu, after seeing you and Ava fighting, I feel guilty." He sighed. "I may have told Ava how you felt about her..."

"WHAT?!" Stu screamed. "Are..." Oh God! He ran his fingers through his hair, groaning in frustration. He was going to be sick. "Why the _fuck_ would you do that?"

"Yea...we were talking at Three Angry Wives. And I just wanted to bond with my future sister-in-law a bit...and, I saw how you were looking at her...and I may have accidentally mentioned you liked her."

"What did you say to her _exactly?_" Stu demanded, slowly.

"I was just kidding around, you know. I said, 'Ava, I think Stu wants to fuck you'. She laughed a bit. But then, I told her that you liked her and she just said, 'Really?' But it was the kind of 'really' like...well, tender."

Oh my fucking God! This was embarrassing! "I can't believe you told her, Alan! That was none of your fucking business!"

"I know, Stu...I'm sorry..."

"Goddammit, Alan! You're such a fucking moron!" he hissed.

"Your language is offensive!"

"FUCK...YOU!"

"OK, Stu! Let's just take a deep breath, OK?" Phil said, remembering what Ava had said. He had be the mature one now. "Ava's right. We're wasting our time arguing here. We need to find Doug. It's good that we know who drugged us...and it wasn't some stranger who would've done it for God knows what."

"Yea," said Alan.

"Yea, you're right," Stu admitted in a voice of mixed exhaustion and sarcasm. "We're so much better off now. I fucked everything up with Ava...and our best friend, Doug is probably face down in a ditch right now with a meth-head butt-fucking his corpse."

"That's highly unlikely," said Alan.

"It's true," Stu half-sobbed.

Ava heard what Stu said about her brother. She didn't want to think about him like that. She was so angry at Stu.

"SHUT UP, STU!" yelled Ava, her eyes were wet with tears. "Don't talk like that!"

"OK," said Phil. "Let's get our shit together, guys. Let's just go back to the hotel...I'm gonna make a couple calls. Maybe Doug's back there, asleep. We can shower and change."

Ava and Phil climbed back into the car.

"Stu, a little help," Alan said, raising his hand towards him.

"Shut up!" he spat, slapping his hand away, disgusted. He was so pissed off at him right now. He drugged them and told Ava how he felt about her. Stupid douche bag! He opened the door, accidentally smacking Alan in the face. He apologized quickly and helped Alan up to his feet.

They headed back to Caesar's...back where they started...

Stu stared at Ava in the back seat through the rear-view mirror. She had been crying...she was staring out the back window. He was so disgusted with himself. How could he? He hurt her. The slap still lingered on his cheek...it was worse than being beaten with a tire iron, being tasered, bitten, his morning after hangover...


	10. Tyson's Tiger

_Tyson's Tiger_

They went back to Caesar's Palace, exhausted, sore, bruised, and dirty. Ava was pissed off Stu. She did regret slapping Stu, but nobody called her that name! Bitch, fine. She had been called it plenty of times. But _THAT_ name?! No way she would let anyone get away with it. She didn't give a shit if Stu was her friend. Not to mention his bitching and moaning, panicking and outbursts were starting to piss her off.

Stu felt so remorseful for what he had done. It was the straw that broke the camel's back. His cheek still throbbed, even though he was hurting all over after the beating, being tased, bitten, and losing a tooth.

Phil and Alan were disgusted by Stu as well. He had been an ungrateful asshole all day. Then, he called Ava, the girl who was helping them...who saved their asses, only to call her that horrible name?! They didn't offer any sympathy either. Nope. Ava's response was just right. Phil remembered the time in high school when a classmate called Ava that word and she kicked his ass...really bad.

Yea. He deserved it.

While they were in the elevator, Ava refused to look at Stu. He could see her jaw was tightened and her body stiff with anger and discomfort. She was covered in dust and dirt from the empty lot where they had been beaten by the Asian, her pixie hair mussed up...her nose ran a bit, sniffling from crying.

"Ava," said Stu.

"What?" she replied brusquely, not looking at him.

"I..." he sighed. "I'm sorry."

"Fuck you, Stu!" she spat. "That's all you've EVER done on this fucking trip! Your apologies are starting to fucking annoy and bore me. Just shut the fuck up and don't talk to me. I'm so fucking disgusted with you right now. I thought you were a gentleman, Stu. Well, I guess I was wrong."

Stu lowered his head, ashamed.

"Is...there anything I can make it up to you?" he asked, treading carefully.

"Figure it out yourself. I'm not going to tell you what to do."

Stu swallowed. Yea. Ava was still pissed.

Once they got off the elevator, the four of them went to the room in complete silence. Phil pulled out the card key out of his pocket.

"Wait, guys!" said Alan, suddenly breaking the silence. "What about the tiger? Do you think he got out?"

They forgot about the tiger in the bathroom. Shit!

"Oh fuck!" groaned Phil. "I keep forgetting about the goddamn tiger!"

"Don't worry, Phil," said Ava. "I shut the door pretty tight. There's no way it'll get out."

He sighed with relief. "Still...how did it get in there?"

"I don't know," replied Stu, full of spite. "Probably because _I don't remember_." He glared at Alan icily.

"Because, uh, one of the side effects of, uh, roofies is...memory loss," Alan said dumbly.

"You are literally too stupid to insult," Stu said inexpressive.

"Dude, just leave Alan alone," Ava said defensive. "You've been mean enough to him already."

"Thanks, Ava," Alan said.

"Shut up, Alan," she said brusquely. "I'm pissed at you too."

"OK, Avers," Phil said. "You need to calm down too."

"Don't tell me to calm down!" she spat. "I've been calmer than all _three_ of you assholes sandwiched together. And I'm falling apart because my brother is lost...it's stressing me out..."

"Ava, just shut the fuck up!" Stu said.

"Fuck you, Stu! You're the biggest asshole of the whole group!" she said, spitefully.

"All of you shut up!" Alan burst like a child fed up with his parents fighting. "Ava, didn't you just say before that us arguing isn't going to find Doug?"

Alan needed Ava to stay level-headed. She was the only one who told the guys to keep staying focused on finding Doug. She was part of his Wolf Pack. She was...the Mother Wolf, the alpha female...yea. Sounded right. The three wolves in his pack already: Stu was the beta wolf, the nice one. Phil was the alpha male: the wild, party guy...his hero. And Doug, his new brother, was the mature one. The one who would take care of his sister.

"Yea," she admitted with a sigh, clutching the back of her neck.

"We need you, Aves," he said. "You're the only one who's made us pull ourselves together. You're the alpha female...the Mother Wolf in my Wolf Pack..."

"Uh...what the hell is he talking about?" she asked confused.

"Never mind that," Phil said. "We'll fill you in later."

Phil opened the door and they heard music coming from the hotel room. It sounded like Phil Collin's _On the Air Tonight_. The men and the girl looked at each other, confused. What the hell?

"Did we leave the stereo on?" Phil said, confused.

They all said 'no' or shrugged with confusion. They approached slowly...looking around. The room was trashed, but the floor had been cleared. Someone had to be in the room...they were scared. Was there a burglar...

Out of nowhere...Phil bumped into a huge black dude dressed in a black suit and hat, making all of them yell in surprise...

"Who the hell are you?!" exclaimed Phil.

"No, who the hell are YOU?!" said the big man.

"Quiet!" said an voice from the corner of the room...

They turned in the direction of the other voice: another black man in a white collared shirt, sitting at the piano...he slowly turned around and revealed himself...there, sitting at the piano...none other...Holy SHIT! Ava stared at this milk chocolate skinned man with an elaborate tattoo on his face. None other than celebrity heavy-weight boxer...

"Mike Tyson?" said Phil, squinting, unsure of what he was seeing.

Wow! Ava remembered reading about when he bit off Holyfield's ear. How it made history. The picture. Cool! Who knew of all places he'd come here! Yet, Ava was a bit suspicious...why would this awesome celebrity be interested in four losers from LA? This could either be good...or really bad...

"Shh," he said, holding up his hands. "This is my favorite part." The drums began to play, then Tyson made drum playing movements...the chorus began...then he began to sing terribly off-key. "Come on, need a chorus line," he said, encouraging.

The guys uncomfortably joined in with Tyson. This couldn't be good if a celebrity had shown up at their hotel room...

Then out of nowhere, Mike Tyson punched Alan in face, knocking him out cold.

"JESUS CHRIST!" screamed Ava.

They knelt down next to Alan. Poor guy! Ava was starting to feel sorry for him. He was getting the rough end of the handle. He had been beaten up the worst so far: tasered and sprayed in the face, smashed in the face with the tire iron and now this! Shit!

"What the hell was that for?!" Stu exclaimed.

The big guy shut off the stereo and threw the remote across the room.

"Mr. Tyson would like to know why his tiger is in your bathroom," said the big guy, obviously Mike Tyson's bodyguard.

"Was that really necessary?" Phil said."I mean, I'm a huge fan! Man, when you knocked out Holmes..."

"Explain!" interrupted the big guy.

"Wait...that's_ his_ tiger?" Ava said, incredulous. She raised her eyebrows. Well, she shouldn't be surprised...of all people...of course.

Tyson looked over the small girl. She was cute...hot...definitely fuckable.

"Are you Cherry Girl?" he asked, pointing at her. "Shit, you are hot in real life."

"Um...thank you, Mr. Tyson," Ava said, blushing a bit. She was embarrassed by the whole YouTube video. She flinched a bit, ready to get punched next if possible.

"That was pretty impressive. You do yoga?"

"Um...yea. My teammate is a yoga instructor in LA. She's really good."

"Think you could hook me up?"

"Um...sure. Her name is Sasha. Just mention my name Roxie Hard-Knocks. She'll know who you're talking about. She'll let you take a class. Although, I'm sure she would be thrilled to have you..."

"Enough of the pleasantries!" the bodyguard interjected. "Now explain!"

Phil was about to speak...Ava held up her hand to silence him. She didn't want any of her friends getting beat up any more. She figured she would take the heat for once. If Mike Tyson wanted to beat the shit out of her, then so be it. She wasn't afraid of taking a few blows on and off the rink.

"Look," Ava began. "We were drugged last night and we have no memory of what happened. We're in a whole lot of deep shit and now we can't find my brother."

"It's true," Stu confirmed. Then added in a broken, defeated voice, "And if you want to kill us, just go ahead because I don't care anymore."

Stu had given up on life. He was so broken because he hurt all his friends, including the woman he had feelings for. He was an asshole. He didn't deserve to live.

"Stu, what the hell are you talking about?" Ava whispered, concerned.

"What? I don't care."

"Why the fuck would you wanna steal his tiger?" the bodyguard demanded.

"We tend to do some dumb shit when we're fucked," Phil said.

"I don't believe these guys, man," said Tyson.

"Look, Mr. Tyson," Ava said trying to be negotiable. "We're really sorry about all this. I promise you that we'll bring the tiger back to your house."

Tyson softened for a moment, hearing the Ava's sincerity. Phil and Stu looked at each other. Return the tiger?! How were they going to manage that? They had no skills in dealing with a wild and dangerous animal.

"Are you crazy?" Stu whispered.

"We should return it," Ava insisted. "We stole it. It's the right thing to do."

"But how did you know where to find us?" asked Phil.

"One of you dropped your jacket. We found it in the tiger's cage this morning," the bodyguard said, holding up a jacket.

Ava recognized it immediately. Her eyes welled up with tears upon seeing it.

"Oh my God!" she exclaimed. "This is Doug's!"

"Yea. It had his wallet and hotel key in the pocket."

"That's our missing friend!" Phil said.

"I don't give a fuck," said the bodyguard nonchalant.

"Well, have you seen him?" asked Stu.

"No," said Mike Tyson. "I was fast asleep."

"Yea...'cause if he was up...this shit wouldn't have gone down so smoothly."

"Mr. Tyson," Ava said. "If we return your tiger, would you be willing to help us find my brother, Doug? You know, let us look around for clues and stuff at your house."

"Well, because you were so nice, Miss Cherry, of course," Tyson said, smiling. He was liking this girl by the minute.

"We'll give you forty minutes," said the bodyguard.

"Thank you, Mr. Tyson. It's Ava by the way. It was nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you, Ava." He shook her hand, which enveloped it completely.

The two men left their room. Phil and Stu were struck with awe and amazement: Ava Billings had charmed the celebrity heavy weight champion! She was a bit nervous, but she figured, just be polite to celebrities even if they are assholes. Celebrities did put up with a lot of fawning and shit. They'd probably preferred to be treated like normal people.

"Holy shit, Avers!" Phil exclaimed, impressed. "You charmed Mike Tyson!"

"I was just being polite," she said with a shrug.

"And you did it without opening your shirt for once," Stu replied with sarcasm.

She ignored him. She would've told him to shut up, but what was the point? She didn't feel like arguing with Stu anymore. If he wanted to be a sarcastic asshole, then that was fine by her. They heard Alan groaning on the floor. They knelt next to him, seeing he had a huge black eye.

"Oh, shit! Are you OK, buddy?" said Phil.

"I'll get you some ice," said Ava. She skipped over to the mini-bar and scooped out some ice, wrapping it in a napkin. She handed the ice pack to Alan.

"Thanks, Aves," he said. "You're a good sister. I'm sorry for what I did. I guess I wasn't being a good brother to you."

"Let's just forget about it for now," she said.

"Oh?" Stu said bitterly. "You can forgive him for drugging us...but you can't forgive me."

"Stu...what you said was despicable," she said weary. "Alan's apology was a lot better than yours. Yours sounded like a pussy."

"But how are we going to return the tiger?" said Phil, changing the subject.

"I dunno," she shrugged. "Where's Doug's room? I'm gonna look for some clean clothes."

Phil pointed to where it was. She went into Doug's room. She needed to get away from Stu. He was making her sick. He was being a really mean, sarcastic jerk. Fuck him!

She looked around for his suitcase and found a t-shirt, a pair of jeans, stripping off Stu's filthy pants and her own shirt. Doug's clothes were a bit bigger on her, but they were just about the right size. She used Stu's belt to hold up her pants, rolling up the cuffs. She tied a knot around Doug's shirt. Her flip flops were filthy from the dusty lot. Ava wished she could have a shower at least, get all the grime and dirt and sweat off her body...if the tiger wasn't in the bathroom. She was still sore from the beating she took from the naked guy in the trunk. She worried about Doug. The words Stu said about her brother earlier in the empty lot...it bothered her. She couldn't bear to think of Doug like that.

In the silence of the room, she broke down completely...sobbing, feeling all the stress, rage, hate pour out of her like a waterfall. She had been trying to hold herself together...this fight with Stu in the lot just completely shattered her...she grabbed a pillow, holding it to her face to mute her screams.

* * *

They had to figure out how to get the tiger back to Tyson. Well, first things first, it was not going to be easy. No way were they going to take that thing out awake. It had to be asleep. Thankfully, Alan had plenty of roofies from the night before. They did Rock, Paper, Scissors to decide who would feed the tiger. Stu lost.

The boys ordered a raw steak from room service. Alan reached into his pocket and began sticking the blue pills into the soft flesh of the raw steak.

"This doesn't seem fair," Stu whined.

"It's more than fair," said Phil. "It's Rock, Paper, Scissors...you lost, Stu."

"Alan should do it."

"Stu..." sighed Phil. "Alan took a punch from Mike Tyson...and you fucked shit up with Ava. Consider this your penance for what you did. You can tell her that you did this...you know, prove to her that you're not a pussy...if you don't survive, she'll know that you had some balls to do something in your life for once."

Stu shrugged. Phil had a point. Maybe that'll impress her. He needed to stop being a pussy anyway. Ava was sick of him acting like that: always apologizing for stupid shit he didn't even do in the first place. Yet, he really needed to apologize for calling her that horrible name...that would be the last time he would apologize for anything. That's all he had done all his life when he was with Melissa: admitted he was wrong, when the reality was otherwise and apologize like a dog with a tail between its legs.

Then, Alan reached for the pepper.

"Why are you peppering the steak?" Stu said. "You don't know if tigers like pepper."

"Tigers love pepper. They hate cinnamon." He just stated it like it was a fact. "OK. I jammed five roofies in there. Just go in there and throw it to him."

"Fine," Stu sighed, holding the steak in his hand.

"Make sure he eats the whole thing," said Phil.

He opened the bathroom door tentatively, hugging the wall, peeking around the corner. He was shaking in his shoes so hard...yet he had to do this: for Doug, for Alan...for Ava. This was a test to prove he wasn't a pussy anymore.

"Hey, kitty," he said in a soothing voice to the tiger. "Hey sweetie, it's OK. I got a little snack for you."

He slowly held out the steak with a shaking hand. The tiger sniffed the air curiously, then stared at Stu with its yellow green eyes. It made a soft moan...obviously it hadn't eaten all day.

"It's really important that you eat this, OK?"

Suddenly the tiger, leaped up and swiped at Stu with angry claws, nearly catching his arm. He screamed in terror, dropping the steak on the floor and ran out of the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. He panted, his heart nearly exploded out of his chest.

"What do we do now?" he said, catching his breath.

"We wait," said Alan.

"Dude, you need to talk to Ava," said Phil to Stu. "She's crying in there."

"What am I supposed to say to her? She doesn't want an apology. I tried it the first time in the elevator."

"That's because she's right, Stu. You're apologizing like a pussy. Grow some balls and apologize to her for real, man."

He shoved Stu towards Doug's room, which he heaved a deep breath and knocked on the door.

"Fuck off, Stu!" an angry reply said.

He looked at Alan and Phil with a shrug.

"Don't fucking give up, man," said Phil. "Just go in there. Talk to her. Tell her what you did."

He reached for the doorknob with a shaking hand, unsure of what to expect...surely this was just as scary as dealing with a tiger in the bathroom...Ava could fuck anyone up like a tiger. He found Ava lying on the empty box spring, hugging a pillow with her back turned and staring out the window. She was sniffling a bit. Approaching her slowly with his hands in his pockets, sucking in his lips as he looked at her in Doug's clothes, which were a bit big on her.

"Ava?" he said softly.

"What?" she said sharply, still not looking at him.

"I'm really...sorry..." he started slowly.

She sat up and faced him; her face was flushed and teary-eyed, her eyes had dark circles and her hair was stuck to her face...she had been crying very hard and quite a while, looking exhausted. She still was pissed off.

"Stop apologizing like a pussy, Stu!" she retorted. "And do it like a man."

She turned away again, hugging the pillow. Stu took a deep breath, searching his heart and mind for the right words to say to this beautiful woman that he hurt so much. He sat down on the box spring next to her.

"Ava, I was a real asshole," he admitted. "Especially to you. It's been a crazy day, finding out all this shit we've been through and it's been one disaster after another. And what I did was unforgivable. But one thing for sure: I need you, Ava. You're my friend. You're my best friend actually and I really care about you. I would rather die than lose you as a friend, Ava. All I can say is that I'm really sorry I called you that terrible name...and I promise you that I will never say it again."

Ava sat up again, softened a bit, looking at him with wet eyes. She seemed calm and composed this time.

"Now that sounded like a real Stu Price apology and not some pussy," she said. "Thank you. That's all I needed to hear."

He smiled, a bit shy. "So, do I have to apologize like that every time I piss you off?"

Ava giggled softly, shaking her head. "No. Just...for now, keep your apologies to a limit."

They were laughing again.

"So, what was with all the screaming out there? Did someone get attacked by a tiger?" she said.

"Yea..." he said, blushing. "I went into the bathroom...and I fed the tiger a steak. I was really close to the thing."

"Really?" she said, a bit impressed. "Wow! What was it like?"

"It was pretty damn scary, that's for sure. I almost lost my arm..."

She laughed a bit, sniffling. They looked at each other. Stu wanted to touch her...kiss her...but it probably would be awkward, considering they had a huge fight in the abandoned lot...and they had no idea where this was going. Still, Ava couldn't help but wonder if it was true. That he really loved her. She felt some kind of strange attraction to Stu. It was pulling her towards Stu like her head was attached to an invisible fish line.

Still, this felt a bit awkward. Stu cleared his throat a bit, blushing.

"Come on out and join us three assholes," he said.

They walked out into the living room together. She sat on the sofa while Stu sat at the piano and began to play: he was really good. She smiled to herself. He started to sing, which soothed her a bit.

_What do tigers dream of_

_When they take a little tiger snooze?_

_Do they dream of mauling zebras?_

_Or Halle Berry in her Catwoman suit?_

She closed her eyes, listening to Stu sing that stupid song, giggling to herself...recalling some good memories of her and Stu, laughing and having fun...then the ugly memory of them arguing in that empty lot...

_Don't you worry your pretty striped head_

_We're gonna get you back to Tyson_

_And your cozy tiger bed_

She swallowed a bit, wiping away the beginnings of tears. Hearing him burst out that he loved her right there. Then, remembering Alan telling her that Stu liked her.

_Then we're gonna find our best friend Doug_

_And then we're gonna give him a best friend hug_

_Douuuug, Douuug ohhh_

_Dougie Doug Doug_

_And if he's been murdered by crystal meth tweakers_

_Then we're shit out of luck_

They heard a thud in the bathroom. The tiger must be asleep by now. Phil and Alan went to grab a luggage trolley. While they waited, she and Stu looked at each other. Ava, in the spontaneous moment, brushed her nose against Stu's, making him giggle...their lips just a few inches away. Stu flushed and his hand went up to Ava's cheek, pulling her towards him, sharing a shy kiss...which eventually became more passionate...his hands roamed all over her. She didn't mind at all. They were hungry and passionate, cupping and gripping to soft caresses. He touched her belly and her hips, feeling all the planes and curves...he was hesitant of what direction to go: north or south, both were exquisitely tempting. He couldn't...he pulled away, panting and stared into Ava's pools of ocean eyes. She was flushed.

She had to know something.

"So, is it true?" she asked. "What you said in the lot earlier. That you loved me?"

"I..." Stu stammered, embarrassed. "I care about you."

"Cut the bullshit!" she insisted. "I don't want to hear 'I dunno', 'I'm not sure', and any other hesitant answer or excuse. I want to hear from your own heart, Stuart. I want to hear what you feel. What you want. Fuck what anyone else thinks."

"Ava Genevieve Billings," he said. "Yes. I do love you." He sucked in his lips. "And how do you feel about me? I need to know..."

Sounded fair enough. "Stu, I have to be honest and say I'm not sure how I feel...but, after all this, I know now that I haven't felt this way for any man before...since I broke up with Dave Cotis. I do love you too...more than a friend."

Stu smiled, so delighted to hear that Ava and he were on the same page.

"But, I want to go slow...take my time with you. I mean, I know we've known each other for years, but I think it would only be fair if we did that."

"Fair enough."

"Just one question, Stu," she said.

"Go ahead."

"Melissa?"

Stu sighed. "Just...give me some time to think...if you don't mind..."

Ava shrugged. "I'm not going anywhere, Stu. Take all the time you need. I just want to let you know that I'm not going to be the 'other' woman. The choice is up to you."

He nodded, understanding. Truthfully, he didn't want to be with Melissa anymore. It seemed pointless now. Just reflecting back on his relationship with her, it was not worth staying with her anymore.


	11. More Answers and Madness

_More Answers and Madness_

They got the sedated tiger onto the luggage trolley, covering it in the sheet and carefully loaded the tiger into the backseat of the car. They were all smushed in the front seat: Alan, Ava, Stu, and Phil driving. Ava was surrounded by three men, all smelly and tired. Alan smelled the worst: like armpits that hadn't used deodorant in years and vomit. Gross!

Ava felt so exhausted. She wanted to close her eyes and sleep for a moment. She felt like she hadn't slept in hours in Sin City. She recalled the kiss she and Stu shared at Caesars. How passionate it was. How warm and soft. Being enveloped by his smell. Though he always smelled clean, today he was sweaty and dirty. But she didn't mind.

"Stu?" she said, sleepily.

"Mm?"

"Is it OK if I rest my head on you? I'm really tired..."

Stu wrapped his arm around Ava, letting her rest her head on his shoulder. She nuzzled Stu's neck, enjoying the niceness and his smell. Her eyelashes fluttered for a moment, then she was asleep. Stu smiled as he looked down at a sleeping Ava. She looked like an angel. Her hair was just near his nose and he smelled it. It smelled a little dusty and dirty, but it was nice.

The whole car ride to Tyson's house was quiet. Alan decided to start a conversation to break the tension and silence.

"Hey guys, when's the next Hailey's comet?"

Phil rolled his eyes. "Who cares, man?"

"Do you know, Stu?"

"I don't think it's for another sixty years," he said with a shrug.

"But it's not tonight, right?"

"No, I don't think so."

"But you don't know for sure."

Stu and Phil shook their heads in exasperation as Alan began to rant about how his cousin Marcus saw Hailey's comet...

Suddenly, they heard heavy breathing and a low growl in the in the backseat...SHIT! The tiger woke up! The guys all screamed...waking Ava up, who was completely confused. Phil swerved the car, nearly colliding with a truck. Soon, Phil stopped the car and everyone scrambled out, screaming...right in the middle of the tunnel on the highway. They watched as the tiger began chewing up the seats and smashed a window, snarling threateningly, showing its fangs, it ears down and its yellow eyes glittering fiercely.

"SHIT!" Ava said. "What the hell...? That was fucking scary!"

"It got me!" yelled Phil.

"Holy shit! You got clawed!" Stu yelled, seeing the claw streaks on his neck. "You're bleeding!"

Now how the fuck were they going to get the tiger back now? They couldn't drive the car now that the animal was awake.

"We're gonna have to push it," Ava said.

Yet, the car was parked. They had to shift the car into neutral if they were going to push the car. The open window was too small for the guys to fit. There was only one way. They looked at Ava.

"What?" she said.

They all raised their eyebrows in silence

"Fuck no!" she said. "I'm not going in there!"

"Come on, Ava," said Stu. "You're small enough to fit through the window."

"Why don't you do it, Stu? Your arms are long enough to reach the shifter."

"I can't fit in there. I'll get stuck."

"Avers, Stu fed the tiger...it's your turn to shine now," said Phil. "Besides, aren't you armed and dangerous as well, Jamie Bond?"

Ava sighed. She would do it. For her friends' sake. They had taken nasty blows all day and she barely got grazed.

"Fine," she said. "But one claw mark...and I'm tasering this bitch. I don't give a shit if it's Tyson's tiger or not. You guys are my witnesses."

"You have a taser?" said Stu. "Where'd you get that?"

"The cops gave me a lipstick sized one...well, you know why."

_Jesus Christ!_ He sighed.

"OK, someone has to distract it," Ava said.

"We'll do it," the boys said. God forbid something should happen to Doug's baby sister.

"OK. Let's do it then."

Ava reached into her pocket and wrapped the pink taser around her wrist. She wanted to be prepared. The boys distracted the tiger while Ava slid through the window and reached for the shifter, keeping her eye on the tiger to make sure it didn't turn around. She shifted the car into neutral and pulled out quickly before the tiger could see her. They had to push the car all the way to Tyson's home...Ava stuck her hand in the window to steer the car. She was shaking, afraid this tiger would bite or scratch her. She kept her taser charged and ready.

They finally reached Tyson's house, entering the elaborate iron gates with bronze boxing gloves and his initials, exhausted, bloody, and sore. They were just relieved to get rid of the tiger.

They stepped up onto the massive and elaborate stone porch of Mike Tyson, which was manicured and clean. They rang the doorbell and it was answered by the bodyguard they met at the hotel.

"You're late," said the bodyguard.

"It's not their fault," Ava said. "The tiger woke up...it nearly killed us. We had to push the car all the way."

"Whatever," said the bodyguard. "Mike has something he wants to show you."

The four of them went inside, to behold a gloriously luxurious house of white marble, double stairs with wrought iron banisters...even a grand piano in the middle of the foyer! Ooh! Ava couldn't wait to tell the girls on her roller derby team that she was in Mike Tyson's house! Sweet! They'd be jealous. The bodyguard led them into Tyson's living room, where they sat down on a large leather sofa.

"When we got back," said Tyson, holding a small white French bulldog. "We got a look at the security cameras."

The bodyguard turned on the TV to show them the security footage from the night before. The cameras read 3:30 AM. It first showed the four of them walking on Tyson's front lawn, all drunk, laughing and being loud and rambunctious.

"Oh!" Ava said, seeing her brother who hanging off of Alan, laughing drunk: Stu and Ava were stumbling behind, Phil was next to Doug. Ava was just in her underwear.

"It's Doug!" Stu said, relieved.

The four of them heaved a sigh of relief to see that he was alive and well.

"That's my brother," Ava said. "That's who we've been looking for."

"Why don't you just pay attention?" Tyson said, stroking his dog. "I don't have all night."

The camera panned onto the pool area...Alan was hopping along the rocks that was around the pool.

"That's me," Alan said, like a little kid. "I'm on TV."

The guys were giggling and shushing on the video.

"_Hey guys, check this out!_" Alan said.

Then, he unzipped his pants and started pissing in the pool. They guys and Ava started laughing hysterically.

"_It's like a fire hose!_" she cackled.

"Really, Alan?" Phil said.

They continued to watch as Alan continued to piss in the pool, then look right at the camera. Ava held her giggles. Stu hid his face between praying hands, Alan looked like the kid who was caught, clearly embarrassed. Everyone was eying him.

"Should I wait outside, then?" he said.

"I think that's a good idea, man," said Tyson.

He got up from the sofa and immediately made a beeline to the door.

"Y-you know what?" Stu stammered, trying to find an excuse for Alan's behavior. "He's not really our friend. We don't know him that well."

Suddenly, there was Ava, in the wedding dress she took from Eddie...Stu and her were making out like crazy on the lawn, giggling. Shit! Not again!

"_You're a bad boy, Stuey!_" she said, giggling. "_You need to be spanked._"

"_Yes, I'm a bad boy!_" he repeated. "_Spank me, Mistress! Spank my ass until it's sore and red._"

Ava pulled his pants down...his ass up in the air, which Ava proceeded to spank him, making Stu scream. Then, Ava pushed him down on the lawn and knelt between his legs. She began stroking him with wild abandon, then proceeded to give him a blowjob, calling him names like 'slut', 'whore' and 'skank' in between strokes. Her back was to the camera while it was filming.

Stu blanched and lowered his head with humiliation. Ava shut her eyes, sucking in her lips...also embarrassed.

"_You're a filthy slut, aren't you Stuey?_" Ava said in a raw voice. "_Tell me want me to fuck you with my slutty mouth._"

"_I'm a dirty, filthy slut,_" he cried, repeating in a pleasure-filled voice. "_I want you to fuck me with your slutty mouth! I want to come and come in your slutty mouth until I'm dry!_" _  
_

"Damn," said Tyson, looking at Ava and Stu.

"Jesus Christ..." Phil said incredulous but weary. "You two_ really_ are whores."

"Yea..." Ava said, embarrassed. "Sorry about that. I tend to be really slutty when I'm fucked up."

Then, there they were, holding the tiger on the leash, leading it towards the cop car, shushing and laughing.

"By the way, man," said Tyson. "Where'd you get that cop car from?"

"We stole it from some dumb ass cops," Stu giggled.

"NICE!" Tyson said, impressed, high-fiving Stu. They all burst into laughter. "That's really nice!"

They continued to watch as they led the tiger towards the cop car by the gate.

"I got to say, I haven't seen a more...beautiful, elegant, just regal creature," Phil said.

_"Stu! Check this out! Fuck this tiger!" _said Phil on the video, then proceeded to hump the tiger.

Tyson's face dropped as he saw this and looked at Phil in disgust. "Jesus, who does shit like that, man?" Tyson said.

"Someone who has a lot of issues, obviously," Phil said, uncomfortable.

"_HEY, GUYS!_" Ava yelled, pushing Phil out of the way. "_Check it out! Pussy on pussy!_"

The guys burst into hysterical laughter, pointing at Ava as she ground her crotch onto the tiger's backside. Stu was rolling on the ground, laughing so hard. Alan laughed until he puked all over the back of the cop car.

"_Good one, Avers!_" laughed Phil.

Ava herself turned bright red, sucking in her lips with embarrassment. "I guess...I have issues too." she said.

"Nah...that was a pretty good joke, Ava," Tyson said. "I thought it was pretty funny...aside from the porno on the lawn..."

"That's all we got," said his bodyguard, turning off the TV.

"This was really helpful," said Stu, trying to ease the humiliating situation. "Now we know that our buddy, Doug was with us at 3:30, totally alive."

"Thank you so much," Ava said.

"And again, we're so sorry we stole your tiger, man..." Phil continued.

"Don't worry about it, man," said Tyson. "Like you said, we do dumb shit when we're fucked up."

"Mr. Tyson, could I use your bathroom?" Ava said.

"Sure. Down the hall, door on your right."

Ava skipped down to the bathroom. Tyson was checking out Ava's ass. Nice tight little thing. Then, looked at Stu. After seeing that little porn show on his front lawn, annoyed that they were fucking like two teenagers right there, but he was pretty impressed that a nerd like Stu was getting nailed by a hot girl.

"Shit, man," said Tyson to Stu. "That's a fine ass you're tapping there. How many times have you tapped it?"

"About maybe five..." he said embarrassed, but proud of himself. "And I had a threesome with her and a stripper."

"Nice, man! You're one lucky sonofabitch. You got yourself a nice girl there. Don't let that one get away."

Stu sighed. Yea. He shouldn't let Ava get away. Even if they were getting their marriage annulled. She agreed to stay married until they found Doug. Yet...there was that kiss they shared just before they left to bring the tiger back. How passionate it was.

What he looked forward to taking it slow with her once they got back to the wedding. He wanted to have one slow dance with his...wife at Doug's wedding.

* * *

Well they got Tyson's tiger back and drove back. Now they had to figure out where else to look for Doug. They were back at square one once again. They knew he was alive and drunk with them.

"You know how everyone says Mike Tyson is such a bad ass," said Stu. "He's actually really sweet."

"Yea," Ava agreed, smiling.

"I think he's kind of mean," Alan said.

"Well, you _did_ piss in his pool, Alan." Ava said in a matter-of-fact voice. "I'd be pretty mad if someone did that."

"Alright, I think it's officially time to Tracy," said Phil.

"Hallelujah! Finally, Phil says something that makes sense!" Stu said sarcastically.

"Are you sure that's even a good idea, Phil?" Ava said. "She might freak out."

"I dunno. Maybe she's heard from Doug."

"That's what I've been saying this whole time..." said Stu, stopping at a red light.

"We just need to be completely honest and tell her about everything," Phil began.

Ava sighed. If this was the right thing to do, maybe she should take the heat with her brother's fiancee. The boys had enough after today.

"Alright," Ava said. "If you think that's what's best, but I should be the one to talk to her."

"I'm the best man, Ava," Phil said. "It's my job to look after him."

"Well, he's_ my_ brother, Phil. He's my responsibility too. Also, we don't have to tell her everything, especially about...Stu and I."

"Yea," said Stu in agreement.

"What am I gonna tell my dad about this car?" Alan said, panicking.

"Alan," Ava said trying to calm him down. "The car can get fixed, OK? We need to find Doug. I'm sure we'll all pitch in for the repairs."

"Really?" he said, his eyes shining.

"Yea, I know a guy in LA who does a great job in interiors..." Phil added.

While discussing about the damage done to the car, out of nowhere an SUV came barreling down the right, smashing into them, pushing the car towards an Adult Sign, knocking the blinking red model of a girl into the roof. Ava screamed loudly as glass and sparks exploded everywhere...scratching, knocking into Alan.

"What the...fuck?" Phil whispered.

Two Asian thugs were sitting in the front seat. Then a small foot with a white dress pants stepped out of the side...a small Asian man dressed in a cream colored turtleneck and a black jacket. He looked pretty pissed off. His eyes were a bit puffy and red.

"I know him," whispered Alan, trembling. "That's the guy from the trunk."

"Get out of the car," he said in a flamboyant voice that reminded Ava of a very gay James Hong with rhotacism, beckoning them with a ring adorned, manicured hand. "Please."

The four of them were paralyzed with fear. Then, he turned to one of the thugs, which he spoke in Chinese. The tall one pulled Phil out of the broken window. They pulled all of them out of the window. The little man looked them all over. Then, he pointed at Ava,

"Her. Get her over here," he said to one of this thugs.

They dragged Ava towards him, his arm around her neck, restraining her.

"HEY! Leave her alone!" said Alan in petulant defense.

"Shut up, fat boy! You're next!" said the little man.

Ava was forced to stare into those angry black almond shamed eyes. She memorized him in case she wanted to report that motherfucker. He looked her over with a cocked eyebrow for a moment.

"You a feisty, pretty little bitch with lot of balls," he said, caressing her cheek, making her recoil. "You need to learn your place in a man's world."

Then he backhanded her hard near her eye, which made her cry out. Fuck! It hurt! He turned to one of the men, the tall one who she apparently sprayed as well. He punched her in the stomach. Ava grunted, doubling over...then again in the face.

"HEY!" yelled Stu and Phil.

"That's a lady!" Alan shouted.

"I really don't give a shit, fat boy!" the little man said.

The thug holding her dropped her on the ground, where she lay on the pavement on all fours, clutching her stomach and moaning in pain. Tears were forcing their way out. She felt something sharp and round in her mouth. She spat out a tooth and some blood.

"Guess the leash is on the other collar, now, isn't it, bitch?"

"Dude," Ava moaned. "I don't know what the fuck you're talking about."

The little man kicked Ava in the ribs hard, making her groan and cough. Although she was used to this kind of pain on the roller derby rink...this was too much. She was ready to pass out from the pain.

"HEY! Leave her alone! That's my wife!" shouted Stu without thinking.

"Aw...this your dear little wife? How sweet!" the little Asian simpered with sarcastic sweetness. Then, he spit on Ava in a final act of degradation. "Well, a woman's place is beneath a man...and that's where she needs to be. From now on, keep your bitch on a leash."

"Bastard," she moaned, wiping her bloody mouth. Stu helped her up and moved her away from the man.

"What do you want from us?" Phil demanded.

"I want my purse back, assholes," the little man seethed, clutching the leather purse.

"What purse?" asked Phil, confused.

"It's a satchel," corrected Alan.

"It's a purse," the man insisted. "And you steal from the wrong man, OK?"

"Wait...we stole from you?" asked Phil.

"OK...you know what? We don't remember anything from last night," Stu said, bravely, cradling Ava in his arm. "So fill us in here."

"Well, apparently you met at the craps tables last night," said the tall thug. "You were on the heater." He pointed to Alan. "And he played your hot streak. He ended up winning just under 80 grand."

"80 grand?" said Stu amazed. "No shit."

"OK, that's good," replied Phil.

"He put his chips in his purse and you took off with it," continued the tall one.

"That doesn't sound like us," said Stu.

"Mine had $80,000 in it," said the flamboyant Asian, clutching his purse. "And this one? Nothing!" He began stomping on it in a childish rage.

"Hey, there's Skittles in there!" yelled Alan, running towards his satchel. The tall thug punched him in the stomach, making him groan in pain and stumble away. "Not again!"

The little Asian laughed rambunctiously, pointing at a doubled-over Alan. "It's funny because he's fat."

"You asshole! How dare you!" Ava yelled in defiance. "He's a child!"

"You, muzzle your bitch," the little Asian said to Stu. "Or I fuck her up good."

"Look! Obviously there's been a misunderstanding," said Stu. "We simply grabbed the wrong purse, it's no big deal."

"OK, if it's 'no big deal', then why, when I come after you guys, then why does this bitch," he pointed at Ava. "Start screaming like crazy, tell me to take off my clothes, tell me to crawl on all fours and say I'm her bitch..." he pointed at Ava. "Then, he," He pointed to Phil. "Start screaming like crazy and throw me in trunk?"

"What?" said Phil. "I did that?"

"Yea," said the tall one. "He said he was your lucky charm and that you want to take him home with you."

Phil and Stu started laughing; Ava wanted to laugh as well, but she was in so much pain right now that it hurt to do so. The flamboyant Asian laughed sarcastically.

"Fuck you," the little man said coldly. "You wanna see your friend again, you get me my 80 grand."

"What...what are you talking about?" Ava said incredulous.

"Bitch, was I talking to you?" said the little Asian.

"Our friend?" asked Phil. "You have Doug?"

One of the thugs knocked on the door and there were soft muffled cries coming from it. They saw a man in the back seat with a bag over his head.

"Doug!" they cried.

"What is it you want?" Stu said.

"Oh, not so nice now. Quid pro quo, douche bag."

"Look, we're very sorry," said Phil. "This is an easy fix. Alan, where's his purse?"

"I don't know," moaned Alan in a high, terrified voice.

"It's in the hotel room, right?" said Stu.

"Yea..." Phil answered.

"We can write you a check right now if you want..." Stu continued.

"No chance. Cash only," he said, rubbing his fingers together on his thumb.

"But that's my brother in there!" spat Ava.

"I don't give a shit, bitch," he said.

"STOP CALLING ME A BITCH, YOU DOUCHE BAG!" she yelled painfully.

"Fuck her up," he said to his men. "I don't like the way she's talking to me."

The men were about to come after Ava...

"No! Just leave her alone," Stu insisted. "She's just upset. She just wants her brother back."

"Boring!" he yawned. Turning towards the SUV. "Take nap. Come on."

"Wait!" Phil shouted. "I'm sorry! Are we boring you?"

"Wait, you're kidnapping our friend!" Stu shouted next.

"Kidnappers!" shouted Ava. "LET MY BROTHER GO, YOU ASSHOLE!" She pounded on the hood of the car.

The car was about to drive away when the boys held onto the front of it. Then Stu dared them to run him over...and they almost did, trying to scare him out of the way, making him shriek. The Asian man rolled down the window.

"Bring money to Big Rock in Mojave Desert at dawn," he said grimly.

"What?" they said.

"Toodleloo, motherfuckers," he trilled mockingly, rolling up the window in a creepy, ominous tone.

Then, the SUV took off, leaving the four of them, pissed and confused.

"Well, at least take the bag off his head!" shouted Phil.

"FUCK!" yelled Ava. "This FUCKING SUCKS DICK!"

"Hey, you OK, Ava?" said Stu, worried.

"Yea..." she groaned. "I've taken worse blows than this."

* * *

Phil and Alan all dug around the hotel, upturning everything looking for that crazy little Asian's 'purse' that they stole. There was no luck finding anything.

Ava was in so much pain. She finally understood how the guys felt when they got beaten by that little Asian guy after he popped out of the trunk. He really was mean! Stu and her sat on the sofa, looking at his beaten...wife, filled with worry. He iced her eye, which was swollen and purple. Her stomach had a huge purple contusion.

"Are you OK?" he asked softly.

"Yea," she said. "I'll be fine. You may need to fix my tooth when we get home. That motherfucker broke it."

"Yea, sure," he said.

"Now I know what it's like...to be in your shoes, Stu," she said, trying to be funny. He nodded and laughed a little.

"You called me your wife," Ava said, softly. "I thought we agreed not to talk about that."

"Well...yea..." he answered, looking into that beaten face with sapphire eyes. "I know...I just..."

"It's OK, Stu. It is kind of true though..."

"Guys!" Alan said interrupting the tender moment. "I'm telling you, I've looked everywhere for it this morning before we left. It's not here."

"Fuck!" Phil said, slamming his hands on the marble bar in defeat. He looked at Stu. "Stu, how much do you have in the bank?"

"About ten grand," he answered. "I was going to use it for the wedding."

"You're already married," said Phil. "You have a problem with that, Avers?"

"Money is no issue to me," she said. "And fuck Melissa. She's the worst."

"Yea, Doug said she had sex with a pilot," said Alan, digging in the sofa.

"It was a bartender on a cruise," Ava corrected him annoyed.

"Seriously what is wrong with you people?!" Stu said, sick of hearing this story.

They watched as Alan picked up a slice of pizza from under a cushion and started eating it.

"Ew!" exclaimed Ava. "Alan, did you just eat sofa pizza?"

"Yea," he said point-blank with a shrug.

_Jesus!_ Ava thought._ He's like one of the kids in the daycare I used to work with who would just eat anything._

"We're so fucked," Phil moaned in despondence. "What are we going to do?"

She decided to let it slide about the whole marriage thing since she warned the guys that she didn't want them to bring it up again. Ava dug around in her purse...looking at the envelopes that bulged. She wanted to contribute to helping them get it back.

"Guys," she said. "I have some money..."

"What?" said Phil. "Where'd you get it?"

"I have $500 from the owner of the strip club...and I won $500 from my little...Cherry Girl trick last night..." she said embarrassed.

"OK. So we got a $1000. That's great."

"Also...Tyson gave me..." she said, blushing.

"What?" said Phil, unable to believe what he was hearing.

"What...wait a minute! Mike Tyson gave you money?" Stu exclaimed incredulous.

"Well...yea...he said...it was for returning his tiger," she said, still embarrassed.

Now the boys were intrigued. The celebrity heavyweight champion boxer gave Ava money?! Really?! They all crowded around Ava like she was a celebrity or something; all three blue eyes penetrating hers.

"How much did he give you?" asked Phil slowly, eagerly anticipating on hearing the amount.

Ava was about to say the amount when Stu interrupted...

"NO! We're not taking your money, Ava. You earned it. You keep it."

"Well, let me help a little," she insisted. "Take my $500 at least."

"OK," Phil said. "Fine. So what are we going to do?"

"Guys," said Alan out of nowhere.

"Did you find it?" Stu said, lifting his head up towards Alan.

"Nope. But check it out..." he held up a book that said WORLD'S GREATEST BLACKJACK BOOK.

Of course! Ava remembered Alan talking about counting cards, which he claimed to be really good at...she scoffed and didn't believe him.

"Dude," said Ava. "That's cheating! No way!"

"Well it's either this...or you tell us how much Tyson gave you," said Alan.

"Just mind your own business, Alan," said Stu. "It's Ava's money. She should keep it."

"OK. Well enough with the arguing," Ava said, panicking a little. "We need to get that 80 grand back so we can get Doug."

The boys all agreed. They decided to get changed and showered so they could head to the casino. When Alan and Phil were out of the room, Stu and Ava looked at each other.

"So...how much _did_ he give you?" he asked mischievously.

"OK. I'm only telling you, Stu," she said, her sapphire eyes twinkling. "You have to swear on your deathbed that you will never tell the boys."

She leaned over towards Stu's ear and whispered the amount, which his eyes lit up with delight and amazement. Really?! He gave her that much?!

"Wow! What a gift!" he said. "That much?"

She nodded. "It's enough to get my own apartment...and live luxuriously for a while..." she joked.

Stu and her giggled like two girls at the mall sharing secrets. No way was he telling the guys...


	12. Gamblers, Cheaters, and Lovers

_Gamblers, Cheaters and Lovers_

Alan was going to win back all of the crazy Asian's money. Ava looked through Stu's luggage and found he had nothing good to wear to the casino. Everything was plain and boring. He came out in a towel...Ava blushed a bit, feeling a little uncomfortable seeing her...husband half-naked. She didn't even remember most of anything...except the vivid memory in the bathroom at Three Angry Wives...just touches mostly...

"Come on, Stu!" she said. "Where did you buy these clothes, Big Boring Lots? This is not how you would dress in a casino."

He shrugged a bit embarrassed. He too was uncomfortable being naked near Ava as well. He didn't remember too much either...some bits and pieces here and there.

"I figured," she said, rolling her eyes. "Get dressed. We're going shopping."

The two of them went downstairs to the clothes shop in the casino. Ava looked Stu over, then browsed the mens' clothing. She felt her feminine side coming out just a little bit.

"Seriously, Stu," she said. "You're a really handsome man. You need some color to bring your inner self out."

Ava was really good with telling what colors went with people. Stu blushed so much, flattered.

"I mean...look at your eyes. You should wear more blue often. It would bring them out. Hmm..." her own eyes looked over him. "You have really nice hair too. Maybe some kind of...er...golden would do. I know just what to get!"

They went shopping in the hotel, asking a very flamboyant salesman.

"Hello, welcome," he said. "How may I help you?"

"OK, my friend needs a serious make-over," said Ava. "I have some colors in mind that we can try on him." Ava picked out a three shirts that she felt would bring out Stu's inner beauty. He looked boring in all those stupid whites and beige. That wasn't him. Though Stu was very mild-mannered, she saw a wild side to him as well. A man who needed to be brought out. Melissa had forced him to become this oppressed thing that was unappreciated.

"You certainly know your friend very well," said the salesman.

She handed Stu three shirts and asked for his pant size as well and got some black dress pants and a dinner jacket for him. Stu tried on the shirts she offered...until he was wearing a soft golden shirt. Ava stared him over, words failing her as she saw how handsome Stu looked. He looked a bit shy and embarrassed. A smile broke across her face.

"Now...that says Stu," she said. "Definitely this. I'll pay for it."

"Oh...it's OK," he said humbly.

"No, Stu. Let me buy you a present. You deserve it." She turned to the salesman. "We'll take this."

Stu went back into the changing room, pulling on his clothes...then looked at himself. Ava was right. He looked stupid in all of these clothes. Who picked these out? When he went out, Ava held the clothes she had picked out...Stu saw it, right there. The dress. It was red with black velvet roses, it dipped just enough in the front. He could see Ava wearing this. It looked very expensive. Yet, it had Ava's name on it. He hoped it was the right size.

"Um...how much is this?" he asked the salesman.

"Three hundred dollars," he replied.

"You know that girl who was with me? Can you tell her size?"

"Of course!" he said. "I can tell a size from miles away. Definitely a seven. This dress will fit her, I can promise you that."

Stu nodded. "Can you find some shoes and...er...do you have any intimates for...her?"

"Yea. I know just what will go with this dress."

The salesman sashayed towards the women's intimates, handing Stu some black stockings, a garter belt, and lacy apparel, all black. He was a bit embarrassed that he had to pay for these...but didn't want Ava to see them.

Stu found himself not caring if Melissa checked his credit card statements. He wanted to get the woman he loved a gift that she deserved from him. He wanted to see her in all of those clothes.

* * *

Stu and Ava went upstairs to the trashed room. Stu showered and put on his new clothes that Ava bought him. He was very pleased with them himself.

"Hey, Stu," Ava said. "This was just delivered up to your room." She came in and saw he was...she stopped in her tracks completely. "Wow!" she said. "Hello, Stuart Price. I don't think I've met you before."

Stu laughed a bit, blushing.

"So, what's this?" she asked. "It was delivered up here."

"It's for you, actually," he said shy.

"For me? Really?" She lit up, opened the garment bag to find a very expensive dress inside. Her eyes went wide with amazement. "Oh! It's...lovely, Stu. Thank you."

"Yea. I saw it and I thought you might...want to wear it when we...go to the casino."

"OK! I'll go put it on right now."

Ava ran out of Stu's room to Doug's, changing out of her brother's clothes. She found more than that: black shoes that had a little heel to them. Ava wasn't used to high heels since she wore mostly Converses. There were even black intimates picked out for her! Ooh! Was Stu implying something? She giggled to herself. Maybe...

"Hey, Stu!" she called. "Could you zip me up?"

"Yea," he called back.

He came in and found her zipper halfway down her back, which he gladly zipped up. Ava turned around and there...she was. Her makeup was done, her pixie hair clean and her long bangs swept over to the left side of her face. Cherry lips. Words failed him as he beheld this beautiful woman.

"You're...lovely..." he stammered.

"Thank you, Stu. I love the dress. You have very good taste."

He smiled. She saw he was buttoned all the way up to his neck. Shaking her head with a smile, she undid a few buttons so she could just see a little exposed chest.

"Come on, Stu," she said. "Stop being shy and let go of yourself a little."

Stu's face was burning, feeling her fingers unbutton him...he wished she would keep going. He wanted to take her right here right now. But, maybe save that for later.

"Let's go meet Alan and Phil downstairs," she said.

* * *

They found Alan and Phil sitting at the blackjack table, both of them were cleaned up and looked nice. Alan had that horrible black eye, but still...not bad.

"Hey, is this seat taken?" asked Stu with his arm around Ava's waist.

"No," said the dealer. "Feel free."

"Alright," said Stu, pumped. "Let's play some blackjack."

Alan stared with great concentration, his lips moved as he counted the numbers...obviously picturing mathematic equations in his mind. Stu, Ava, and Phil cheered him on...he only sat there, unaffected by their cheers. He was doing pretty well with his card counting. Soon, Ava noticed the pit bosses talking amongst themselves...uh oh! Ava had to do something. She spotted a cocktail waitress carrying oysters...she signaled one over and grabbing one, grimacing. Ew! She had to do this...for Doug, for her friends...then, sucked it down the oyster in a quick chug, feeling the cold, slimy texture. Then, her allergy kicked in immediately...she swelled up, covered in red puffy hives, her eyes swollen shut...her fingers the size of sausages...collapsing...

"HOLY SHIT!" yelled the dealer.

"Helpf me!" said Ava, her tongue swollen.

Stu panicked and remembered Ava always kept emergency medicine in her purse. He fumbled for an EpiPen in her purse and plunged the needle in her thigh...watching the swelling recede and she coughed a few times. She watched Phil and Alan slip stealthily away with the chips...

"Miss, are you alright?" said the manager.

"Yes," Ava said. "You know...you really need to keep an eye on your utensils at the buffet. I think I saw someone use the tongs for the chicken in the seafood...and I'm _deathly_ allergic to shellfish. If my husband weren't here, I would've died."

"I'm...really sorry, ma'am," said the manager, embarrassed.

"Yes, you should be!" she spat in fake anger. "And not only that, I'm Jewish and I eat Kosher...so how DARE you! I'm really offended that you have no respect for other people's religious dietary choices."

Stu did all he could to keep his laughter down. The manager had blanched, stammering apologies, promising to be more respectful and improve the buffet. They offered them free room service delivered any time.

"Good. I'd appreciate that very much."

"Wow!" said Stu. "You..."

"Yea...let's just say my slut magic isn't the _only_ thing that can get us out of trouble..."

He laughed. They looked at each other in an awkward silence.

"What?" she said.

"You called me your husband."

"Well...yea. I had to make it believable...and you are...technically."

* * *

Stu was exhausted. They got back to the hotel. They spent the night trying to win back all of Chow's money at the casino. Ava looked really hot in her dress. He tossed his dress jacket on the bed. He found Ava in Doug's room, looking out the hotel window at the lights.

"Hey, Stu," she said.

"Hey," he said, quietly.

"Would you mind...unzipping me? I can't reach this stupid zipper."

He gulped, turning a bit red. He cleared his throat, nervously. His fingers trembled as he fumbled with the zipper to Ava's dress, just staring at the soft line of her back as the zipper was pulled slowly down. He felt bolder and dragged his fingers over the smooth flesh from the middle of her back up to the base of her neck. He heard her draw in a breath quietly, stiffening.

Ooh! Stu's touch was so nice! Ava felt her cheeks flush, closing her eyes...her blood was liquid fire. Though they agreed to go slow, she could break the rules just once. Sucking in her lips, she turned to face Stu. He was blushing, ashamed.

"Sorry...I didn't..." he said, shyly.

"It's OK," she said. "You're allowed to touch me, Stu. You're my hu..." Ava didn't want to say that word. Legally, they were...but it was a drunk mistake...but, why did she feel so...drawn to Stu?

She stared at his blue eyes behind those horrible glasses. He looked better without them...handsome, adorable...

"Do you want to?" she asked. "You can say no if you want. I mean...we could break the rules...just once."

Stu lowered his head. He wanted it very much. He wanted her. No one else. Melissa was no longer on his mind anymore.

"I do," he said.

Ava smiled. "The next move is yours, Stu."

Stu let go of his resistances and he took Ava's hand, leading her to his room, closing the door. His hand slid around Ava's back, feeling the smooth flesh where it was unzipped, pulling her close like they did when they danced at Three Angry Wives. Then, he brushed his nose against Ava's in a loving manner, smiling. Ava giggled. Closing her eyes and let him lean towards her inviting lips and kissed them. It was...better. Real. No alcohol or Roofies. Tongues dancing in an erotic, slow intertwining...

He withdrew a moment to see how Ava would respond. She just kept her eyes closed, enjoying the sensation. She removed Stu's glasses so she could drink in his face and touched it, lovingly, brushing the hair away from his forehead.

He smiled a little...though Ava could still see the hole. He was embarrassed. She smirked impishly. She hoped he wasn't in too much pain, but she wanted to be careful. They kissed again and this time she slid her tongue through the hole, carefully avoiding the gum line.

Stu felt her tongue right there. Holy SHIT! This was so...erotic. He liked it. She was careful though, but feeling her tongue going through that hole where his tooth once was got him hard.

He pushed Ava's dress down her shoulders, caressing her flesh until it was at her waist. Her breasts encased in the strapless bra, beckoning him. She was exquisite than he could possibly imagine! Then, he finished by pushing the dress down her hips until it fell in a red puddle at her feet. Then, reached behind her back to release her breasts from her bra, tossing it carelessly away. He finally got to see them...and it wasn't being drunk...or awkwardly embarrassing this time. The pink nipples beckoned him. He was so afraid to touch, just looking was enough to send him to heaven.

Ava removed his shirt and tossed it aside on the floor while she unbuckled his belt and pushed his pants down. He was so hard already and being out of those clothes were so liberating. He liked being naked. Ava touched him with just the fingertips, feeling the hair on his chest...she kissed his neck and nibbled his ears, making him shiver.

Just a black pair of panties and garter belt with thigh high stockings. So sexy! Though it was a pleasing sight, he wanted her completely naked. He wanted to touch her legs, see all of her. No distractions. He had wanted this his whole life.

He fumbled at the garters, which she laughed a bit. She allowed him to take his time as he pulled a silken stocking down each leg, kissing it worshipful, admiring the smoothness and the muscles, the feminine. She had some bruises on her body which began to fade...probably from all that roller derby. There were fresh ones from the beatings she took from the crazy Asian. Hooking his fingers around the garter belt and her panties, he pulled those down and they were gone with just a little kick from her.

"I'm all yours, Stu," she said, her blue eyes glittering.

He was excited. At last he was in control for once. She smiled. He kissed every part of her body, licking...she tasted good. He teased her breasts, taking a sweet velvety nipple in his mouth. Then wandered south and tasted the sweet delicate parts between her legs, which made her mew in pleasure and shake so hard. Ohhhh! How long he had wanted to taste her. She smelled spicy, had a sweet salty taste and was very clean.

Ava wanted to come. He was teasing her. His mouth all over her girly parts and his fingers inside her, stroking. She was about to...and he stopped, letting her calm down. Then, he resumed his work, teasing...bringing her to the brink.

"Shit, Stu!" she mewed. "Stop...teasing me!"

He giggled to himself. He wanted her to come when he wanted it.

"Turn over," he said. "You need to be spanked for your impatience."

"Ooh!" Ava cooed. "I guess I must've been really bad, hmm?"

He laughed. She obliged and he spanked her, which she let out playful cries of delight. Her bottom was a shade of pink already.

Then it was her turn to tease him. She stroked his hard cock...oh shit! he was leaking pre-cum already, but she spread it around on him, making him want to come already. No! He had to hold back. Shit! She teased his balls and then pressed his taint...that made it easier to hold back when she massaged him there. But shit! His blood felt like liquid fire.

He wasn't sure how he wanted to make love to Ava. There were so many positions he wanted to do. Missionary seemed boring since that's all he did with Melissa. Still, it made him feel like he was in control. He wanted to be for once. Ava didn't care. Just once...pretend it would be his first time with Ava...like when they first met. His first girl.

She lay on the bed, legs wrapped around him, ready to receive him, looking up at him as he stared into her eyes.

"I'm ready," she said.

He nodded indicating he was ready. Then, slowly entered her, inch by inch...it was perfect! Ava's eyes went wide as she felt him enter, giggling a little.

"Whoa," she said.

He chuckled a little, blushing. He thrusted slowly...wanting to savor this moment, not caring if he cheated anymore. Melissa was long gone from his mind and only the beautiful woman beneath him that he made love to was there.

With each thrust, he closed his eyes and enjoyed her. He stroked her and had her mewing beneath him in unbelievable pleasure. Her head thrown back as he made love to her, gripping her hips, pumping faster, enjoying the silken walls that enveloped him. She bucked in harmony with him, creating an awesome rhythm...

"Fffffuck," he hissed.

Shit! He was going to come! He exploded almost immediately, groaning so raggedly and shuddered hard as he came. He gave a few more strokes, feeling her get hotter, softer...she was coming too! She let out a ragged moan, clawing Stu's shoulders, quivering beneath him and held him tight. Ava and Stu were both exhausted. She touched Stu's neck and felt the sweat from all his effort, smelling his hair. He kissed her shoulder as they spooned. He smiled...so satisfied. Ava was already smiling.

She and Stu just lied in bed, enjoying the afterglow, kissing. He was hungry...he wanted more. They made love again, spontaneously changing positions until they were spent. Stu was excited when they did this.

Ava thought: three years wasted with that woman. Such a waste that he stayed with her. He was excellent in bed, very attentive...he did a lot of foreplay, which was good. He knew where to touch the right spots and did it so skillfully. He loved cuddling especially. Ava was fine with that...usually most guys just up and left after that, which was no big deal. Yet, it was nice to have a few precious minutes of feeling warm flesh and being appreciated for lovemaking. Stu would kiss her shoulders and nuzzle her hair, caress her in the afterglow.

_I guess good guys finish last...because they have such good bedroom skills. _Ava giggled to herself.

They got a little sleep with what precious time they had. They would have to get up eventually so they could bring the money to that crazy little Asian man in the Mojave desert so they could get Doug back.

Soon, a door opened, startling Stu and Ava...

"Stu..." said Alan. Then, just stopped in his tracks, staring dumbly.

"Fuck, Alan!" yelled Ava. "Get the fuck out!"

"Are you guys...?"

"GET OUT!" they yelled.

He slammed the door, stumbling away. Stu grabbed his clothes from the night before.

"I should go out first," he said. "I'll get you Doug's clothes."

"Alright," she said. "I guess we're gonna have to face...what happened the night before..."

Stu giggled. He didn't care anymore. He had sex...this time it was great...real and authentic...he didn't care if Phil teased him about what a whore or a stud he was.


	13. Mojave Desert

_Mojave Desert_

Stu stepped out of his room...thank goodness only Alan was awake. He tiptoed to Doug's room and grabbed up the clothes that Ava had discarded. He brought them back to his room.

"You want me to give you privacy?" he asked.

"Stu," laughed Ava. "You've seen me naked already. I don't think one more time is a big deal."

He laughed. He was so happy after all that sex last night. He wanted to go again...hm...maybe after he recovered. He was spent from last night and the night before. He didn't think he could go around again...he might need a day or two. His sexual hunger was satisfied for now. The two of them dressed, giggling and kissing.

"Thank you for last night," he said, buttoning up his shirt.

"Anytime," she said, giggling. "I like breaking the rules. We should do it once in a while."

"Mm," he said, nibbling her delicious lips.

"So, have you made a decision yet?" she asked serious. "You know, Melissa?"

"Yes. I'm done with Melissa."

"Good. I'm glad to hear that, Stu," she said, smiling. "Do you want me around when you tell her?"

"No thank you," said Stu appreciatively. "I'm a big boy. I can do it myself. I'm not afraid of her anymore."

"Ooh!" Ava cooed. "Someone's a big macho man now."

He flexed his arm and she kissed it, making him laugh. Yup. He was. This whole experience had been mind opening for him. How much he wasted his time with that bitch. He could've been with Ava if he had enough balls to ask her out.

They were fully dressed and stepped out into the living room. Phil and Alan were there.

"Well, well, WELL," he smirked. "Look who's_ finally_ up. Did you two enjoy your...wedding night, Dr. and Mrs. Price?"

"Yes...we did," Stu said, proudly, his arm around Ava. "And let me tell you, it was mind-blowingly satisfying."

Phil laughed.

* * *

They climbed into the car, driving to Mojave Desert...to Big Rock. Ava used her map app on her iPhone to find it. Stu counted the cash in the bag to make sure it was all there.

"OK, that should be about 82,400..." Stu said.

"I don't fucking believe it," Phil laughed, excited. "Alan, you're the man."

"Ahem!" Ava said, cocking an eyebrow.

"And nice going, Avers! You totally saved our asses!"

"Anytime. Now I think the house should get the cut," Ava said, grabbing the bag, counting out $2,400.

"What?! Ava, are you crazy?" Stu said. "What if this crazy Asian finds out you stole some of his money?"

"Dude, he said $80,000. He _never_ specified what amount."

"She's right, guys," said Alan. "He didn't."

"We gotta come back here next week," said Phil. "We should take the whole city down."

"I'm free next week," Alan said.

"Or we could focus on getting Doug back," said Stu.

"I think it's safe to say our luck has officially turned around, guys," said Phil excited.

"Yea," said Ava.

"WE ARE BAAAAACK!" Stu sang loudly.

"WE ARE GETTING DOUG BACK!" Ava joined in. "WE'RE GETTING MY BROTHER BACK!"

"_And we're the three best friends_," sang Alan. "_That anyone could have...and we'll never ever ever ever leave each other..."_

Stu, Ava, and Phil raised their eyebrows in disbelief. Ohhkay. That was weird.

While they drove, Ava sighed, looking at the cash, figuring out a way to split up the money. She couldn't keep all of it. It didn't seem fair. She did the math in her head. Though there were four of them, she figured put some aside for Doug.

"Guys," she said. "I want to give you the cut of the money. $480 each. Consider this my gift...for being such awesome friends."

"What? Really?" they said.

"Yea." She split up the cash, handing the guys their fair share. "Alan, use this to get the car fixed. One of my teammates is a mechanic in LA. She'll give you a great discount. I'll give you her number once this shit is over."

"Really?" Alan said touched, tucked the cash in his pocket. "Thanks, sis."

Ava giggled. "You're welcome, bro."

"What are you going to do with the extra $480?" asked Phil.

"It's for Doug. He deserves his cut."

Stu said, a bit worried. What if he found out that they stole his money? After seeing what he did to Ava. Still, she had a point. The little Asian NEVER did say how much.

"OK," said Ava. "Listen. We are not going to tell this guy we stole some of his money, OK?" She looked at Alan. "You think you can keep a lid on it, Al? It's really important that he doesn't know, OK?"

"Yea," said Alan.

They were excited. They were going to get Doug back. It was going to be the best day of their lives. Then they could get him to his wedding on time. All this shit could be forgotten.

"How much further until we're there?" asked Stu.

"Only a few more feet," Ava said, looking at her map.

They saw the black SUV parked in the middle of the desert. Surely, this had to be the car they were looking for.

"Now what?" said Phil.

"Flash the lights," Ava suggested. "Let him know we're here and that the deal is on."

Phil did so and the SUV responded with a flash of lights. Then the doors opened and the thugs stepped out along with the little Asian man. Jesus! He was dressed even more flamboyant than ever! He wore a pair of Aviator glasses that looked really expensive.

The four of them climbed out of the Mercedes, Stu climbed out of the window since his door was crushed shut. Alan climbed out of the window as well, falling clumsily on the ground. Once again the little Asian laughed his usual laugh.

"Funny!" he laughed. "Fat guy fall on face."

Ava wanted to say something in response, but she figured just shut up. She didn't want this douche fucking them up. She discretely grabbed her taser in her pocket, hiding it around her wrist, thumbing the button. She would be ready for any shit that went down.

"OK," said Phil, holding the bag. "We have your money. 80 grand in cash."

"Throw it over," he barked. "Then I give you Doug."

Ava rolled her eyes. He was a rude douche bag. A please would've been nice.

"Um..." said Stu in an attempt to be polite. "First of all, good morning. We didn't catch your name last night."

"Mr. Chow. Leslie Chow," he answered.

Ava sniggered...accidentally. She didn't mean to.

"Find my name funny, Cherry bitch?" Mr. Chow said threateningly.

Ava decided there was no point being rude. God only knows if she said the wrong thing, they'd end up shot in the middle of the desert and no one would find them.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Chow," she said in an attempt to be polite. "I just had sex this morning with my husband. I'm kind of...working off my fuck high."

"Oh...that's fine," he laughed. "I get it, Cherry Girl. I'm sorry I didn't recognize you last night...I saw your video. Pretty impressive. You flexible like little Chinese acrobat."

"Um...yea," Ava said flatly. "Mr. Chow, I know we got off on the wrong foot and all. I just want to say I'm sorry for what I did...you know, making you take off your clothes and shit."

"Oh, it's fine. How about spraying me in the face with pepper spray?"

"Um...sure," Ava said with reluctance. "Sorry about that too."

"Then, yea, we're cool."

"Mr. Chow, it's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Ava...and if you don't mind me asking: would you be so kind as to show me my brother, Doug before we give you the money? I want to make sure he's OK."

"Why, certainly, Ava. Thank you for asking so nicely. It seems you learned your manners from yesterday."

Ava wanted to roll her eyes, but refrained anyway. Mr. Chow clapped his hands and said something in Chinese to his thugs. They opened the door, pulling out a man with a bag over his head. The four of them heaved a sigh of relief. Still..

"See, he fine," said Mr. Chow. "Now give me money..."

Ava looked the hooded man over a bit suspicious. He seemed a bit...taller. She knew her brother like the back of her hand. Ava was 5'6'' and her brother was just about two inches taller than her. This guy looked too tall, about the same height as Stu, maybe more.

"Wait a minute," Ava said. "I want to see his face. I want to make sure that's my brother and not someone else."

"You're being very rude, bitch," said Chow. "You don't give me money, I shoot him...then I shoot _ALL_ you motherfuckers. Then...I fuck you up, Cherry Girl, and piss on your face."

"OK, OK," said Stu, placating. "Just...calm down, Mr. Chow. No need to get overexcited." He turned to Ava. "What's going on, Ava?"

"Stu, I don't think that's Doug," Ava whispered.

The boys were about to say something when...

"Waiting..." said a very impatient Mr. Chow in a sing-song voice. "Getting really bored here."

Stu tossed the bag over to one of Mr. Chow's tall thugs, who opened the bag to make sure all the money was there.

"Wha...what are you doing?" Ava hissed. "How do you even know that's Doug?"

"Ava," said Phil. "Just calm down, OK? We got your brother back. He's fine."

"Phil, that is not my brother!" she insisted. "Doug is two inches taller than me. This guy is a foot taller."

"Who the fuck cares? It's hot...you're probably hallucinating..."

"No, I'm NOT, Phil!"

"Maybe we should listen to Ava," said Stu. "She might be right."

"Shut up! We gave him the money. Let's just get Doug and get out of here."

Ava sighed. Nobody wanted to listen to her. The thug confirmed that all the money was there.

"Release him," said Mr. Chow.

The two thugs brought the man over. Ava didn't believe at all this man was Doug. They pulled the hood off the man, revealing a black man with tape over his mouth.

"Ta da!" said Mr. Chow.

"Is this some kind of joke?" Phil said, unimpressed. "Who the hell is this?"

"I told you!" Ava said. "What did you do with my brother, Mr. Chow? Where is he?"

"What you talking about, Cherry? This is Doug."

"No, I'm sorry, Mr. Chow," said Stu. "The Doug we..." He looked uncomfortable, unsure of how to put this sentence delicately.

"The Doug we're looking for is a white," said Alan to the point.

The thug ripped the tape off of the black man. He turned around to Mr. Chow.

"I told you you had the wrong guy, little boy," said the black man. "Damn, man! I don't know what the fuck you got me into." He was talking to Alan.

"Wait! You know this guy, Al?" Ava said, incredulously.

"Yea, this is the guy that sold me the bad drugs," said Alan. "How you doin?"

"I didn't sell you no fuckin' bad drugs," said the black man.

"Wait..." said Stu. "He's the one who sold you the ruphylin?"

"Who gives a shit?" Ava interrupted, angrily. "WHERE THE FUCK IS DOUG, YOU DOUCHE?!" she yelled at Chow.

"I AM Doug," said the black man.

Alan laughed. "Oh! you're name's Doug too? It's just a classic mix-up."

"SHUT UP!" Ava yelled angrily. She was scared. Her brother was lost again.

"Chow, you gave us the wrong Doug!" Phil yelled.

"Not my problem," Chow said uninterested.

"Fuck that shit!" Ava said. "You give back our money and take this asshole back!"

"No way, girlie! C'mon, I can be your Doug..."

"Oh, yea. OK. I'll take him back...right after you suck on these little Chinese nuts," Chow said. Then he grabbed his nuts and made a jerking off motion and then a swish noise like he ejaculated. "Mmm...how's that sound?"

Black Doug groaned in disgust. "Nasty little motherfucker," he mumbled.

_Fucking disgusting pig__! _Ava thought angrily.

"So long, gay boys and bitch," he waved in a very flamboyant, dismissive fashion.

Then Chow climbed into the SUV and drove away, leaving the five of them in the middle of the desert. Phil cursed a few times, kicking the dust along with Alan, who did a kid version of curse words, copying him.

Ava screamed and cursed louder than them all, letting all her anger and frustration...her sanity and hopes failing...

"FUCK! GODDAMMIT!" yelled Ava, kicking the dust. "MOTHERFUCKING COCK SUCKING DOUCHE BAG!"

She picked up a rock and threw it at the departing SUV, missing of course...then, collapsed on the ground in exhaustion. Once again, Doug was lost. She had no idea where he was...she sat in the dust. The memory came to her...when she lost Doug...seeing ten-year-old Doug...hearing his voice when he called her...


	14. Lost Girl, Found Boy

_Lost Girl, Found Boy_

**_AN: I made changes to how Stu and Ava knew each other from the past. I also changed some chapters about this. Many thanks! R&R_**

* * *

_Twenty years ago...Fall Festival, the County Fair  
_

_Three sets of parents: the Billings, the Wennecks, and the Prices all met up. They had their children with them: four ten-year-olds amongst them: Doug Billings in a blue sweatshirt, white T-shirt and jeans. His baby twin sister, Ava Billings with hair in plaited pigtails in a plaid shirt, overalls and Converses. Gangly, bespeckled pasty-white Stu Price in dorky clothes. Cocky freckled strawberry-haired Phil Wenneck dressed in an Army green shirt with Aviator sunglasses.  
_

_ It would be their first time on their own without their parents. They were about to take off running with his friends when they got the usual lecture about staying together and not talking to strangers.  
_

_"Look after your sister, Doug," said Mr. Billings. "Make sure she doesn't get lost."  
_

_Doug groaned in annoyance. "Yea, yea. I know. I'm the oldest...blah, blah..."_

_Doug's dad told him the same thing over and over. It's not like Ava couldn't look after herself. Ava rolled her eyes in agreement. _

_"Stay close to your brother, Ava," said Mr. Billings. "Don't lose him."_

_"Yea, yea," she sighed flatly. _

_"OK, kids. Have fun. Meet back here by six o'clock."_

_They took off running, commenting on how their parents were dumb asses and their lectures were bullshit. _

_Ava liked Doug and his friends. She didn't care too much for girl stuff. Girls liked playing with dolls, dress-up and makeup. No. Ava liked playing with boys. They were more fun. She wasn't afraid to get dirty either. _

_Phil and Stu thought Ava was cool. She beat up bullies. She played sports. She spit, farted and belched. She had the foulest mouth out of all of them. She made them laugh. She told them dirty jokes and even stole dirty magazines from their Dad's closet...if she was lucky, beer. Sometimes they teased her, pulled her pigtails, scared her, played pranks on her...but she kicked their asses. She knew the boys didn't mean to, but she liked them.  
_

_"Hey, Avers," said Phil. _

_"Hey, Phil!" she said. He always called her that. She liked it. A lot better than her own name. It made her feel like one of the boys. _

_"Hi, Stuey!" she said looking at Stu.  
_

_Stu blushed, saying a shy 'hi'. He liked her a lot. She giggled. Stuey was so shy around her. He often got picked on the most, especially by Phil. Ava always stood up for him. She would kick anyone's ass if anyone bothered Stu.  
_

_"Come on, Avers," yelled Phil. "Keep up. You and Stu are slow like two girls."_

_"Shut up, Phil!" she said. "Stu's cool. I'll kick your ass."  
_

_They went throughout the fall festival. Ava stole beer from the concession stands, which the boys were delighted. They threw bang snaps at passing people, laughing and seeing them jump in terror. They unscrewed salt caps at picnic tables and laughed when someone used it or made fart noises whenever someone sat down. Yup, the boys and Ava had a awesome time. _

_Otherwise, everything at the fall festival was lame. They came upon the corn maze and they had to try it. They each bet that they were faster than the other...they took off running in the corn maze, bobbing and weaving, shoving past people, laughing. _

_Doug saw his sister was far behind. She was slow sometimes, but that made it the perfect opportunity to scare her.  
_

_"Let's scare Ava," said Doug, his blue eyes glittering mischievously.  
_

_"I don't think we should do that, Doug," Stu said a little hesitant._

_"Oh, you're pussy, Stu!" laughed Phil. "We're just gonna scare her...then she'll kick our asses like she always does."  
_

_"I don't want my ass kicked by Ava."_

_"Stuey loves Avers!" teased Phil. Then proceeded to sing, "Stu and Ava sittin' in a tree, KAY-EYE-ESS-ESS-EYE-EN-GEE!"_

_"Shut up, Phil! I do not!" Stu shot back, shoving him weakly.  
_

_"Shut up and hide, you dumb asses!" Doug hissed. "She'll be coming around any minute now."_

_The three of them hid in the cornfield, waiting for Ava...they watched all the people, looking for Ava, getting ready to scare her. Phil and Doug snickered, Stu looked a bit unsure. He didn't like scaring Ava a lot. He'd seen her kick Phil's ass plenty of times. He didn't want that...he got teased for getting beat up by a girl once. That's how he first met Ava. The girl, Tammy, gave Stu a black eye. A girl in overalls and dark pigtails saw what happened and told her to leave him alone. Tammy just said a few words and then, they got into a nasty fight. _

_Little Ava looked for her big brother and his friends. She was so focused on winning that she lost sight of them...where were they? They ran ahead of her in the cornfield maze. She was scared. All alone. She called their names, but there was no answer. No one could hear the tiny voice of a ten-year-old girl over the loud noise from all the kids who were running through the cornfield, shoving past her and the carnival noises. Though she was a tomboy and acted tough, she was scared without her big brother Dougie. Where was he? Did he get lost? She promised Mom and Daddy she'd stick with Dougie. __Ava huddled in a corner and started to cry. She lost Dougie. It was her fault she didn't stick by him. _

_"Dude, where's Avers?" said Phil. "It's been almost three hours."_

_Doug started to worry. He hadn't seen Ava anywhere. If he lost Ava, his Mom and Dad would be pissed at him. He needed to find her._

_"Shit!" Doug cursed. "Let's go find her."  
_

_They called Ava's name as they went through the cornfield...and they found her, curled up and crying._

_"There you are!" Doug said._

_"Where...the FUCK were you?!" Ava shrieked, her blue eyes filled with tears.  
_

_"We wanted to scare you, baby sis."_

_"You're an asshole, Doug! I'm gonna tell Mom and Dad that you left me here!"_

_"Hey, snitches get stitches and end up in ditches, Avers," said Phil._

_"I'm gonna give you stitches in a minute, Phil," Ava said threateningly, balling a fist. _

_"C'mon, Ava!" said Doug. "I'm sorry. I swear I'm not gonna lose you again, OK?"_

_"OK, Dougie. And I swear I won't lose you again either."_

_They hugged each other. _

_"Ava?" Stu's voice echoed from somewhere..._

* * *

**_DOUG POV_**

It's so hot up here...need a drink...need shade...in so much pain...why hasn't anyone found me? I threw my mattress off the roof...hopefully someone would know I'm up here...

I saw Dad standing there...what the fuck? Was he really there?

_Look after your sister, Doug! _Dad said. _Don't let her get lost. You're the oldest. _

I lost Ava! How could I? I promised Mom and Dad I would look after her! I'm her big brother! I promised her I wouldn't lose her! We lost each other. Where was Ava? My baby sister...was she looking for me? Did she forget about me?

I could see ten-year-old Ava standing there, in her pigtails I used to pull all the time, in her overalls and plaid shirt.

"You lost me, Dougie!" she cried. "You promised you wouldn't!"

She ran away, running right off the roof and disappearing...

"AVA!" I yelled, reaching towards her. "COME BACK!"

* * *

_**The Boys and Ava**_

The boys watched as Ava just sat there on the dusty, dry ground, staring out into the vast desert, completely frozen and silent. They were sure that she snapped this time. She had been trying to hold herself and them together trying to find Doug...only not to find him again...

"Is she OK?" asked Black Doug.

"Yea...she's just...the guy we're looking for is her older brother," said Phil.

Ava didn't hear any of the boys talking. She just stared...and stared...Doug was...gone. This time it was for sure...Doug was lost...he wasn't coming back to find her...she could see ten-year-old Doug standing there in the desert, looking at her...

"You lost me, Ava!" he cried. "You promised you wouldn't!"

Then, ten-year-old Doug ran away.

"DOUG!" she screamed, reaching towards the running ten-year-old Doug, disappearing in the desert heat..."COME BACK! I'M SORRY!"

The boys turned towards her. OK. Ava had officially lost it this time. Well, it was hot...and she was probably seeing shit...they watched as she was hunched over on her hands and knees, shaking...

...she heard a voice echoing somewhere...calling her name...

Stu and Phil approached her slowly. What was she screaming at? Obviously, she had seen a mirage or something of Doug. Her pixie hair was blowing in the dry desert wind, the long bangs hanging over her face.

"Ava?" Stu said. "Ava?"

She saw two ten-year-old sized feet and looked up to see Phil in his red hair and freckles and gangly Stu, both of them ten-years-old, both looking down at her...

"Hellooo?" said Phil in his normal voice. "Avers? Are you in there?"

"It's my fault," Ava said. "Dougie's gone..."

"No, it's not," said Stu in his normal voice. "We all lost Doug. We're all at fault."

Ava began to tear up a bit. "I lost Dougie. He's not coming back...I promised Mom and Daddy I would stick close to him..."

"Uh...Ava?" Phil said with a raised eyebrow. "Are you OK? Do you want some water or something? We need to get out of here. We gotta call Tracy..."

"Doug's gone," she said her voice high like a lost child. "Where did he go? I can't find him...I lost him..."

She couldn't hold herself together anymore. She kept hoping to find Doug, only to have everything shattered. She broke down completely right there in the desert. Her big brother was gone. Stu hugged her, stroking her hair while she sobbed into his shirt, clutching him tightly...her cries echoed over the vast desert...

* * *

They drove out of the desert so they could get enough bars to make a phone call. Phil made it official. It was time to tell Tracy the truth. He dialed her number, standing a few feet away from the car.

"Tracy, it's Phil," he began. "Hey, listen. We fucked up..."

Black Doug took a piss on the side of the road. Then came back. Alan was sitting on the hood of the car. Stu held Ava's hand, comforting her.

"Thanks for the lift back to town," he said.

"I got a question," said Stu. "How did you wind up in Chow's car?"

"That crazy asshole kidnapped me yesterday..."

Ava didn't hear half of the boys were saying. Where could her brother be? She was so stupid! She should've kept an eye on him...she should've paid attention...but she couldn't remember shit where they last saw Doug...

"He thought I was with you guys...'cuz we were hanging out at the Bellagio..." Black Doug kept talking. "Y'all don't remember?"

"No," Stu said coldly. "Because some dick drug dealer sold him..." he gestured to Alan. "Ruhyplin instead of ecstasy..."

She heard Doug calling her...was it the desert heat? Was it for real? She was probably dehydrated...sleep deprived from having sex with Stu all night...she was hallucinating...yes...

"What the hell is Ruphylin?" Black Doug said.

"Wow! You really are the world's shittiest drug dealer..." Stu said. "...it's a date rape drug...you sold Alan roofies."

"Aw...shit. I must've mixed up the bags..." Black Doug said.

Their voices faded in and out...Ava needed a drink...sleep...she heard Doug's voice again...clearer...

"Ava..." he said. Only it wasn't his ten-year-old voice...

"...Y'all are likely to end up on the floor than the roof..." Black Doug said.

Then, the vision came...she saw Doug's feet...gravel where he was sitting...the heat...another memory came...

* * *

_5:50 AM-Caesar's Palace, the roof  
_

_The boys and her were all drunk. Doug was passed out completely. They were giggling as they carried his mattress on the roof. It was hard getting it through the door. She saw her ten-year-old self and the boys...except who was this fuzzy faced man? She didn't remember him..._

_"Let's scare Dougie," she laughed. "Like that time at summer camp."_

_Ten year old Phil and Stu laughed. She wanted to get back at Doug for all those years of pulling her pigtails, scaring her...stupid Doug! The boys always pulled pranks on her...yet, she got them back all the time. Douche bags! _

_They carried the mattress on the roof. They took turns doing crazy stuff to Doug. Then it came to Ava...Doug opened his eyes, looking at his baby sister. He laughed drunkenly..._

_"What are you doing, baby sis?" he giggled._

_"Putting your mattress on the lake, big brother," she snorted. _

_The twins giggled...then Doug passed out completely...  
_

* * *

"Ava?" said Stu. "Are you...OK?"

Ava shook her head...that was fucking weird...she turned to Black Doug.

"Wait," Ava said. "What did you just say?"

"Rapies," said Alan.

"NOT you!" she snapped at Alan. Then, to Black Doug, "You said 'you're more likely to end up on the floor than...'"

"Yea," Black Doug replied. "You're more likely to end up on the floor than on the roof."

"Oh my God!" she whispered slowly, remembering. "I...know where Doug is! Summer camp..."

"Wha...?" Stu said. Then he realized...remembering little Ava and him and Phil...putting Doug's mattress on the lake at summer camp. It was Ava's idea! She always wanted to get back at Doug for all the pranks he pulled on her.

Ava bolted as fast as the wind towards Phil, knocking the phone out of his hand. She scrambled for the phone.

"JESUS CHRIST, AVERS! WHAT THE..."

"Hey, Tracy, it's Ava!" she said in her cheerful voice.

"Ava, what the hell is going on?" Tracy demanded, her voice filled with worry.

"Don't listen to Phil. He's completely out of his mind. He's probably drunk from last night," she said.

"Where's Doug?"

"He's fine...he's paying the bill...we just had a wonderful brunch. And we're in a big hurry to get back. We'll see you soon."

She hung up the phone.

"What the fuck, Avers?" he said. "Jesus!"

"Dude, I know where Doug is!" she said.

The guys scrambled to the car with a mingle of holy shits, driving as fast as they could back to Sin City.

"How the fuck did you know where Doug was?" Phil said.

"Dude, I know this sounds weird...it may be I was dehydrated or some shit like that," Ava said. "But...I had a vision...like Alan said..."

"What?" the boys said in disbelief.

"Yea. Alan asked me earlier if twins had psychic links...and I dunno, it was the weirdest thing..." Ava said dismissively.

"No, what was this vision, Ava?" Alan said eagerly.

"I saw Doug...heard him...but whatever. That's not important," Ava said. "It just hit me. You guys remember when we saw that mattress impaled on that statue at the hotel?"

"Yea. We threw it out the window," Phil said.

"No. That's not possible," Ava said. "The windows don't open in Vegas. It's to keep jumpers from committing suicide."

"Then how did it..." Phil said, then realized. "HOLY SHIT"

"Yea! I know."

"I don't get it," Black Doug said.

"Doug was trying to signal us," Ava said.

"Can someone tell me where Doug is?" Alan said confused.

"He's on the roof," Phil.

"Yea. We must've put him up on the roof as a prank," said Stu.

"Yea!" Phil said. "Like that time at summer camp...and it was Ava's idea."

Ava laughed. "Dude, those were good times."

"That was hilarious," Stu laughed. "Except not now because we forgot where we put him."

"Stu, drive the fuck faster and less talking," Ava said.

* * *

They scrambled to the rooftop at Caesars, calling Doug's name...Ava screamed his name the loudest...seeing her ten-year-old self...

"Ava..." said a weak voice to her left.

She looked and saw a hand raise up...

"DOUGIE!" she screamed, tears streaming down her face, skidding on her knees. "GUYS! I FOUND DOUG!"

The guys all ran in Ava's direction, looking at a rather tan Doug. She looked into her brother blue eyes; her own filled with tears. He was alive! And well! She found her big brother!

"Jesus Christ! We've been looking for you everywhere, big brother!" she said, hugging her big brother, who suddenly screamed in pain. "Oh fuck! I'm sorry!"

"What the fuck is going on?" he said, confused.

"Let's just say a lot of crazy shit has happened," she said.

"I thought...you forgot about me, baby sis," he said in a voice that sounded ten-years-old.

"Are you crazy? I'd never forget about you. I promised I wouldn't lose you."

"OK," said Stu, helping Doug to his feet. "We gotta go, buddy. We'll explain everything later. Right now we gotta go."

"Hey, bud," said Phil. "Are you OK?"

"No. Not OK," he replied in a dehydrated voice.

"You look good," said Phil. "You got some color. I'm jealous."

"Hold up...I'm getting married today."

"Yea, that's right. That's why you need to stay focused today because frankly we're wasting time."

"YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!" he yelled, lunging at Phil. Then he cried out in pain. "OW! My skin burns!"

"Doug, it's not your fault..." Alan said, soothing.

"Don't fucking touch me, OK! Just shut up! All of you!" Doug hissed, wincing in pain.

"OK, Dougie. Just calm down, OK?" Ava said. "I understand you're in..."

"Just...get me home...OK?" he said finally, his hands shaking.

"Sure thing, big brother." Ava said.


	15. Getting to the Church on Time

_Getting to the Church on Time_

"You cannot be serious!" yelled Stu on the phone. "What about...?"

They wheeled Doug out in a wheelchair, covering him with Ava's sunhat and glasses. He drank a Fuji Water, his hands shaking from the pain. Ava bought SolarCane to spray on him. He looked like a lobster...with pasty white legs. Oh God! He looked terrible.

"All the flights to LA are booked," Stu whined.

"Dude, we can make it," Ava said. "I'm sure of it! Just don't stop. Do you guys know if you can get your tuxes on the way?"

"Yea," said Alan. "I'll call my buddy Neeco. He can deliver them to us."

"Cool."

While they waited for the car, Doug saw his twin sister chatting away with Stu. He always suspected there was a kind of chemistry between his friend and his baby sister.

"Is Stu missing a tooth?" Doug asked monotonously.

"Yea," Ava said, hands in her brother's pants pocket.

"Did you fuck my friends, Ava?" he said, suspiciously.

"Just Stu. That's it. I swear." she assured him. "Why? What else do you remember?"

"What are you talking about?" he said confused.

Ava heaved a sigh of relief. OK. So Doug didn't remember finding out that she gave Phil a blowjob as teenagers. Nope. That secret she would take with her to the grave. So did Phil.

"Nothing. It's not important. The only person I slept with was Stu. And don't beat him up, OK? I made the first move on him...and I really love him. I promise you he was a real gentleman to me."

"Really, baby sis? You and Stu?" he said softening. She nodded. "If you say so. Did you two do anything else that was crazy?"

Ava and Stu looked at each other, both sucking in their lips, trying not to laugh. They definitely shouldn't tell him that they got married. Nope. They would keep that to themselves.

"Nope," Stu said. "Just fucked pretty much everywhere..."

Doug laughed painfully. "You two are such whores."

* * *

They sped down the highway, Phil driving with Alan in front. Stu, Ava, and Doug smushed in the back.

"Well, at least the trip wasn't a total disaster," Doug said.

"Why do you say that?" said Stu.

"When I woke up on the roof, I happened to find $80,000 worth of chips in my pocket."

Ava and the boys laughed and laughed.

"Looks like we're going home with some money boys."

"Doug...I got something for you." She reached into her pocket and gave him the $480 she stole from Chow. "This is for you and Tracy. I know it's not much..."

"Thanks, baby sis."

The men got their tuxes from some dude name Neeco who apparently was a buddy of Alan's. He tossed them their tuxes in the car. They pulled over and dressed in their tuxes, hurriedly and clumsily. Ava dressed herself in Stu's dress that he bought her...the guys didn't care this time that she undressed in the Mercedes, even Doug.

Panting, they made it! Scrambling out of the car on top of each other, trying to get through the door. The Garners looked over at the heap of the quartet: Alan with a black eye and a huge bruise on his forehead. Phil with a split lip. Doug with a sunburn. And Ava had a black eye as well.

"Hey!" said Stu, panting. "Apparently, Ava's Mapquest app took us on a crazy route."

"Yea," laughed Ava. "Stupid iPhone! I think I need a new one."

* * *

Now the wedding could begin! Ava and Phil, Best Man and Best Maid, walked down the aisle together. Next it was Stu and then Alan. They fumbled with their corsages. Ava rolled her eyes and fixed them. _Boys!_ she thought. There was a mingle of thanks from her friends and big brother.

"Are you ready, big brother?" she asked, looking at Doug.

"Yea," he said quietly.

"I'd hug you...but..."

"Thanks. You're a good sister, Avers."

Ava smiled and went to stand with the other bridesmaids. She stuck out like a sore thumb in her red dress with black velvet roses. Her pixie hair was a bit wild, but she managed to wet it just before getting out there.

Soon, the wedding march played on the string quartet. Sid walked Tracy down the aisle. Ava was starting to tear up.

"Where were you?" Tracy hissed mad. "And why are you so red?"

"It was my fault," Ava said coming to her brother's defense. "I should've been looking out for him. I haven't been a really good sister, Trace."

"Well, at least he's in one piece, Ava," Tracy said. "Thank you."

"I promise you," said Doug. "As long as we're married...I promise you I'll never, ever put you through this again. Can you forgive me?"

Doug's wedding was beautiful. Ava felt tears seeping out of her eyes as she watched her big brother and her new sister, taking their vows. All those memories came flooding to her when they were kids. He looked good, despite the red sunburn.

She stared over at Stu, who smiled back. She twisted the ring on her finger. She knew he'd want it back soon, but eventually she'd come to love him. She and Stu exchanged looks, silently. The man who was her husband. She giggled to herself. Once Doug and Tracy exchanged rings, they kissed...it was magical.

On to the reception where the MC announced Mr. and Mrs. Douglas Billings. Then, there were toasts from Phil first...and then Ava. She stood up, looking out at everyone, who stared up at her.

"I'm Ava," she said. "Being the youngest, I always felt...that Doug got more attention than me...and yea, I know, I'm the youngest. You'd think it'd be the other way around."

There were light chuckles.

"Well, Doug is not just my brother, but my best friend. And although we're twins, we are kind of different. Yet...sometimes...we think the same. If anything, he taught me a few life lessons. I remember when Dad bought me my first pair of roller skates when I was ten and the second I put them on, I skated down the neighborhood, enjoying going so fast that I didn't want to stop. I guess...Doug taught me that I had been skating by through life too fast...and if I don't slow down, I might...miss a few beautiful things in life. I guess once I slowed down, I found that I did."

She looked right at Stu, who was already smiling.

"That love...can be right there when you don't expect it," she continued. "And once I slowed down, I learned to appreciate it. And that's what life should be: you can skate all you want and as fast as you want...but slow down a little and enjoy the scenery."

She looked at Tracy. "Tracy, I'm really glad you met my big brother and I hope you will do the best to make him happy. And maybe we can do some sisterly stuff once the honeymoon is over and you can get to know me a little. Anyway, welcome to the family, sis! And...just to let you know, Trace: if you break my brother's heart, I will beat the crap out of you."

Tracy laughed, knowing that was her sense of humor.

"To my brother Doug, and my new sister, Tracy!" She raised her champagne glass and everyone drank.

* * *

Ava sat at the bar. Stu joined her.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi," Ava replied.

"I'm Stu."

"What are you doing?" she giggled.

"You said you wanted to take it slow...so I am."

Ava laughed, but decided to play along. "Nice to meet you, Stu. I'm Ava."

They shook hands.

"So, could I buy you a drink, Ava? Do you come here often?" he joked.

Ava laughed. "That would be a yes to both."

"Great speech, Ava," Stu said.

"Thanks," she said. She looked at the hole in Stu's mouth, then felt her own broken tooth, still throbbing. "Remind me to make an appointment to get my broken tooth fixed."

"Sure thing. When do you want to come in? We can do it right after the wedding. I do emergency work on weekends."

"Cool! You're getting yours fixed, right?" she joked a little.

"Of course!" he said.

"Well...it kind of...looks funny," Ava laughed. "I kind of liked...sticking my tongue through the space though. I guess it's a first for me. I've never kissed a guy with a missing tooth before."

Stu laughed, reddening.

Stu and Ava drank their drinks. All of a sudden, the She-Bitch came marching up to Stu. Ava trilled the _Wicked Witch of the West _theme song from _The Wizard of Oz_.

"Stu?" said Melissa's sharp voice, her hands on her hips. "You avoiding me? And what's she doing here?"

"Want me to get out of here?" Ava whispered.

"No," said Stu to Ava. Then, turned his attention to Melissa, "Hey...what's up?"

"Oh my God! What happened to your tooth?"

"Have you met Alan? Tracy's brother?" he said, trying to change the subject.

Melissa placed her hands on Stu's face, forcing him to open his mouth to see the big gaping hole. Ava wanted to punch that bitch in the face for being so rough with him.

"That is disgusting!" she said. "Why haven't you returned ANY of my calls?"

"Well, there was a snafu in..." Stu began a little afraid.

"I called that bed and breakfast in Napa. They have NO record of you checking in! And I saw the video, you cheating sonofabitch! Don't bother coming home now that you have that filthy slut's disease on you!"

"Excuse me, I wouldn't be talking, bitch," Ava said dryly. "At least I use protection."

"What the FUCK going on, Stu?" Melissa demanded, ignoring Ava.

"We didn't go to Napa. We went to Las Vegas..." Stu asserted.

"Las Vegas? Why would you go to Las Vegas?"

"Because my best friend was getting married...and that's what guys do."

"That's not what YOU do!" she jabbed a fist into his chest.

"Hey, psycho!" Ava said. "Stu's not your bitch. You don't own him...so don't treat him like that!"

"Excuse me?!"

"Yes..." said Stu. "You heard her correctly...and by the way, the answer is yes: I fucked Ava, five times in Vegas..._and_ had a threesome with her. And let me ask you something...why did I do it, huh? Riddle me that?!"

Ava stifled her laughter. Melissa scoffed, unable to believe what she was hearing.

"You know...sometimes I think you want me to do what YOU want me to do," Stu spat angrily. "I'm sick of you doing what you want me to do all the time! I think in a healthy relationship...a guy should be allowed to do what he wants to do."

"Amen, brother!" Ava said in agreement.

"THAT IS NOT HOW THIS WORKS!" Melissa screeched.

The music came to an abrupt halt, everyone was staring at them in stunned silence.

"Well good!" said Stu. "Because whatever this is...ain't working for me!"

"Oh, really?" scoffed Melissa.

"Yea! And by the way, I'd rather be Ava's whore...than your boyfriend."

"Since when?"

"Since you FUCKED that bartender on the cruise last June. BOOM!" he slammed the table.

Ava's mouth dropped open with amazement. Stu had stood up to Melissa! She couldn't be more proud of him. What an AWESOME burn!

"You told me it was a bartender," said Alan.

"Oh yes," said Stu. "You're right...I stand corrected...it was a bartender...you fucked a bartender."

"You're an idiot!" she spat weakly.

"Really?" Ava said, shaking her head. "That's all you got? That's pathetic, Melissa."

"SHUT UP, YOU SLUT!"

"Better a slut than a frigid bitch," Ava said with a shrug.

"Yea. You know what?" said Stu. "Rrr...you're a bad person...all the way to your core! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to dance...with my NEW girlfriend...who _actually_ appreciates me."

"One moment," Ava said. "I'll be right there." She turned to Melissa. "By the way, you can pick up your shit tonight on the curb because Stu said he's taking out the trash...which he should've done...three years ago."

Ava sashayed on the dance floor to join Stu, leaving a stunned, yet pissed off Melissa. The music started up again and they danced...she and Stu and Phil and Dougie.

"I'm really proud of you, Stuey," Ava said. "That was the awesomest burn you gave the She-Bitch. I couldn't have done better myself."

"Thank you," Stu said with a proud smile. "I had you to...inspire me."

Ava shrugged. "I do what I can."

After a couple of fast songs by the Dan Band, which Ava and the boys had fun doing. She danced with all of them, laughing. Then, Stu went up to the band and handed him some money, whispering a song...

"Ladies and gentlemen, here is a song that Stu would like to dedicate to a very special girl," said the Dan Band.

The song began to play...the song she remembered that day...

_There's such a sad love_

_Deep in your eyes _

_A kind of pale jewel_

_Open and closed within your eyes_

_I'll place the skies within your eyes_

Stu took Ava and slow danced. Ava's eyes were misty. It was the song...the song when she and Stu first slow danced when she was drunk...when he picked her up and ended up puked on his shoes. She laughed to herself, thinking about it.

_There's such a fooled heart_

_Beating so fast_

_In search of new dreams_

_A love that can last within your heart_

_I'll place the moon in your heart_

"I thought this could be our first dance...as husband and wife," he whispered.

Ava blushed a bit. "Great choice." she whispered.

They staring into each other's eyes and enjoying their new-found blossoming love.

_I'll be there for you-oo-hoo-ooo  
_

_As the world falls down_

"You want to break the rules one more time?" he asked.

"Oh?" She raised her eyebrows.

"Coat room. Right when the song ends." He grinned with wickedness.

"Your wish is my command..." she smirked.

They kissed...and listened as _As the World Falls Down_. Ava listened as she pressed her cheek against Stu's cheek, hearing the song...getting lost in Stu...

_Falling...falling...falling in love..._

* * *

The boys and Ava sat on the porch, drinking beer. Ava and Stu held hands, still giggling since their crazy fling in the coat room.

"I gotta tell you, Dougie," said Ava. "This was a gorgeous wedding."

"I give it six months," said Stu.

"You're a dick," Doug said, giggling. "I don't know what to say. Thanks for the bachelor party, I guess?"

"Yea," laughed Stu. "I actually wish I could remember some of it."

Ava nodded, smirking. She only could remember just the bathroom fuck they had.

"Hey, guys," said Alan. "Look what I found."

"That's...my camera!" exclaimed Stu.

"Yea. It was lodged in the backseat of the car."

"Huh," Ava said.

"Oh G-" Phil said shocked. "Are there photos on it?"

"Yea. Some of it's even worse than we thought," Alan said.

The boys argued over what to do...

"Dammit, guys!" Ava said, yanking the camera out of their fumbling hands. "Calm the FUCK down!"

"Ava, just give me the camera," said Doug. "OK. We look at these photos together...then we delete the evidence."

"I say we delete it right now," said Stu nervous.

"Are you nuts?" Phil said. "I wanna find out how I wound up in the hospital."

"Yea. I'd like to find out how you lost your tooth, Stu!" Ava said, excited.

"Guys. One time," Doug insisted. He turned to his twin sister. "Baby sis, you better swear you will never speak of what you saw."

"May I fall down and die in my tracks should I reveal anything, big brother," Ava said, crossing her heart, then made a stabbing motion.

They all gathered around Doug to look at the pictures...

"OH!" they all exclaimed.

Alan chuckled. "Classic!"

Ava laughed with the guys as she saw the usual crazy shit that boys did at their bachelor parties: strippers, at the craps tables, stealing the cop car, they even snuck into Mike Tyson's house while he was asleep with some chick! SHIT! Even Ava climbed into bed with Tyson! Ooh! Doug laughed when he saw Ava doing her Cherry Girl trick, which was also on the camera.

They found out that Stu actually removed his own tooth! And Ava was right there when it happened...along with the other guys, grimacing!

"I guess you are a good dentist," Ava laughed.

And they found out that Stu and Ava had more sex than they actually remembered! Wow! They showed a pic of Stu downstairs while in the elevator at the Bellagio...in a back alley by the liquor store...

"You two seriously _are_ whores," Phil said, looking at Stu and Ava.

"I guess it's a match made in heaven," laughed Ava with Stu.

* * *

Epilogue

_Ava moved out of Doug's house as soon as he and Tracy went on their honeymoon. __She and Stu threw Melissa and her stuff out of the house. Ava and Stu are currently in a steady relationship...going slow as they agreed..._

_Ava still has all the money from Las Vegas, which she has put away and intends to invest it. She completed her teaching degree online and has found a job as a daycare worker. She still plays roller derby. _

_STU AND AVA WILL RETURN IN THE UPCOMING SEQUEL: THE TRUTH ABOUT LOVE_


End file.
